If the cost is the same, I would go for the nanny too - otherwise you would need a Plan B for all those just-a-bit-poorly days when they would be fine at home with a nanny but wouldn't be able to go to nursery - and generally it should be more flexible. I am of flexibility my friend who has a nanny has, even though I know that the cost is crippling for them, and financially it would not work out the same for us, and that we just can't afford it (or, in fact, find one, living as we do in the middle of nowhere).

Stealthsquiqqle, hanaflower and my dear mumsnet friends who share their wonderful thoughs there,thanks a lot for your comments. Since I posted this topic, I did a lot of reseach (posted for a nanny position in a couple of website, contacted a tax agency for the employment advise and did read some surveys on the cost). It seems that the cost of a live-out nanny and nursery are pretty much the same!!!!! It is so difficult but I think I am opting for a nanny option. In the worse case, I will put my DC back to the nursery

It has been an interesting process though. In any case, I still have nothing left at the end of the month..........

Thanks for your welcoming to the UK

Maybe you could look for a Nanny? Can be a more cost effective option with 2 children, and IMO a better option for the baby too.

OP - your 2.5yo will get some free hours from the term after they turn 3, so however much it costs now that should be the peak cost (unless you are planning on private schools, of course )

As others have said - jigsaws of family help, au pairs for older DC, perhaps even a nanny or nanny share might work out cheaper, or the same and more flexible?

It is a core reason for a lot of well qualified women not returning to work - I had the exact same conversation with a group of mothers yesterday at a party - one is killing herself working 4 days a week and juggling, another is doing similar but is also reliant on the fact that her DH is a teacher and so can cover most of the holidays, a third is now self-employed and earning a fraction of what she used to, and a fourth has given up completely until her DC are old enough to be more self-sufficient (giving rise to a further conversation about when that might be!)

Good Luck - welcome to the UK!

Hello Rebeccaj, I did another calculation and the total cost is roughly 3000 (not 3,500 as I posted earlier, sorry). It is GBP 70 per day per kids. I wish it were 1800.........

If you are earning 65K, you should be OK? - nursery for 2 will cost in the region of £1800 a month (that's what it cost me in Fulham, Kew shouldn't be staggeringly more, surely?), you'll be bringing home about £3.7k a month (before pension), so £1900 left over? OK, so it's depressing to see so much of it disappear, but definitely worth doing!

Agree with what the others have said. We left an age gap between dc1 and 2 so that there would only be a short overlap with both at nursery. Only then we messed up by having dc3 very soon!!

With two pre-schoolers, you probably just accept that most or all of one income goes on childcare until they start school. The benefits though, are keeping a foot on the ladder, and also, once they are in school you really don't give a monkey's about paying for after school and holiday are, because it's so much better than having to pay for all day!

Thanks for all your feedbacks. It is really an eye opening for me. At least, I am not the only one who wonders. Childcare in the Netherlands is slightly cheaper than here (London standard). What makes a big difference is that the government helps with the costs. Depending on your combined income, Dutch government will help with either 1/3 (min) or 2/3 (max) of the childcare costs. Even if you do earn reasonably well, there is help out there to give you an incentive to work which I do believe it is better for the economy. A lot of Dutch mums do stay home too. However, they do it because they want to and not solely because of the cost of the childcare.

Here in the UK, you do pay slightly less tax than in Holland but you can expect very little help from the government. My perception is that the middleclass is the one who suffers most from the UK system.

My job pays roughly 65k a year which could reasonably covers the nursery costs but will leave me nothing left. I totally agree with annh for the reasons why some mums (and I) want to go back to work.

Moreover, working part time is not a realistic option for me. You get less pay but the amount of work is the same (from my experience). So you end up working during the evening and weekend!

I will start looking for a nanny option. The difficult thing here is how to find a good one. Here comes another grey hair!

Thanks all again for your help. Really appreciate!

I've been up since 4am with my dh discussing this. we both work full timke at the moment, with a LOT of help from family but with a second child on the way we've decide that either both of us have o go to a 4 day week, or I'll have to cut right back (which I don't want do). we both enjoy our jobs but this lifestyle is just not sustainable

Hey mo could not sleep. And now dd is up. so still can't sleep!