How many of you have both parents working f/t?

(60 Posts)
YoSaffBridge Fri 21-Dec-12 23:01:32

Just saw a thread that made me think about this. I know I am in a rarity: DH and I both work f/t. Luckily DH works shifts so DD isn't in childcare any more than about 30 hours a week. Anymore than about 40 hours and I think I would prefer a nanny, which we can't afford. But at the moment, I am in a profession which is struggling through the recession so a f/t job is preferable to no job at all.

However I don't know anyone else who have both parents working f/t, or anyone else whose DH is probably doing more childcare. Now my friends are starting to go back to work, I'm beginning to get comments on us both working f/t.

I guess I'm just interested in a rough straw poll - how many people have both parents working f/t? I feel in a massive minority here.

SeriousWispaHabit Sat 22-Dec-12 22:51:26

We both work FT. DH does 9-5 Mon-Fri and I do 4 long days with some evenings and the odd Saturday morning. I have some later starts though so get to do the school/nursery run on 3 mornings and DH does 1 morning.

DDs are 4 and 2. I went out for a drink with some friends the other night and had some 'helpful' comments about how I was very brave to work FT and miss out on their childhood. Nothing about how DH was missing out.

I do loads with the DDs and we are a close family who all spend a lot of time together and manage to eat as a family 4 nights a week on average. We both have more than average annual leave and use it to go on holiday or spend time as a family.

AuntieShirley Sat 22-Dec-12 22:53:57

Dh and I both used to work full time. I worked 7am until 8.30pm 2 days a week and 3 night shifts also. Dh 2 day shifts (similar hours) and 2 night shifts.
My parents both used to work full time too (Dad a farmer, mother a nanny, I used to roam the country side whilst they worked!)
We couldn't handle us both working and game up when dc4 was 3 years old. I was exhausted, dh was exhausted, and it was too much to work as much as we did and stay on top of four childrens life. I left work. I felt a bit defeated, but it was for the best (for me, I was going a bit insane, I think the kids would have been fine either way). Now dd1 has started secondary school I am really pleased I am home at 3 every day, as it has been a bit full on!

BackforGood Sat 22-Dec-12 22:58:24

For the first 2 and 1/2 years we both did FT, but then I went down to about 34/35hrs a week. Much better. We had CMs when my dc were little, then breakfast club once they started it in the juniors, and a CM after school.

smugmumofboys Sat 22-Dec-12 23:01:16

We both work ft. DCs at childminders before and after school every day. As we are both teachers, we obviously have the holidays, but it is exhausting during term-time.

LavenderPots Sat 22-Dec-12 23:06:28

both work full time shifts around each other dont pay childcare as 1 of us is always home

scottishmummy Sat 22-Dec-12 23:08:02

we work ft.where we live it's not norm,at all.lots prosperous housewives doing sweet fa
I get the face or comments from the precious moments crew. I'm nonplussed
majority of pals work ft.i have good social network,and it's all well planned.

JumpJockey Sat 22-Dec-12 23:11:34

Artigene you know me... Dh works 9-7ish 4 days a week and 9-4ish the other, I'm 8.45-5 4 days and until 7 on dh's shorter day. Girls in nursery 8.45 until about 5.20 5 days a week(dh does drop-off, I pick up) and they both love it there, it takes me about 20 minutes to get them to leave at the end of theday as they're too usy playing. Am not looking forwards to dd1 starting school next year as the practicaliies will be much harder because of the geography, either she or dd2 will not get picked up til nearly 6, but then they'll be able to stay up a bit longer so will have more family time.

jelliebelly Sat 22-Dec-12 23:14:24

We both work FT with ds (7)and dd (4). I returned to work after 6 mths mat leave with ds and 18 mths with dd ( was made redundant and took my time finding another job). We used nursery when they were little and after school club now. We Both have well paying jobs but quite flexible so between us we manage school runs, activities etc 50/50.

JumpJockey Sat 22-Dec-12 23:15:04

Should add, i get preposterous amounts of annual leave (8 weeks including bank holidays, plus I earn another 3 weeks p.a. in lieu for the late shift) so get plenty of time off with girls. Would be much harder otherwise.

ninah Sat 22-Dec-12 23:15:52

I am a single parent and i work full time, it is fairly mixed among my friends, some are couples who work ft, others have their own businesses, some (male and female) work P/t with a f/t partner. I do have a few sah friends but don't have masses in common with them as we have v different lifestyles and priorities

redwellybluewelly Sat 22-Dec-12 23:16:20

Both my parents worked full time although DM worked as a consultant and was often around, we had a ft nanny in the holidays.

DH and I each work a nine day fortnight and DD is in childcare four days a week. I am pg so after maternity leave will be PT from when dc2 is six months to a year before returning to work FT. I enjoy my career and as an older mum don't want to let my qualifications slide

headfairy Sat 22-Dec-12 23:18:34

We both work ft, I also do shifts, long ones at that - 13 hours, so I only need to do three days a week. We have a nanny as dh doesn't get home until 7pm most evenings.

DingDongKethryverilyonHigh Sat 22-Dec-12 23:18:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

headfairy Sat 22-Dec-12 23:19:56

Sorry, forgot to say I work in an insanely competitive industry so working less tan I do would seriously jeopardise my future.

PortiaPony Sat 22-Dec-12 23:20:47

Both work full time, 9-5 mon-fri. Dd is in nursery and has been since she was 9mths old. No family near us, no network at all to help out. It's hard and you have to be super organised but we make it work. Having said that I dont think we'll have any more kids.

headfairy Sat 22-Dec-12 23:21:05

Both my parents worked full time when I was a child, from the age of 11 my mother spent about one week in three abroad. I was definitely in a minority.

Casmama Sat 22-Dec-12 23:24:12

My dh and I both work full time and woe betide anyone who would like to make a face or a comment about it [Grin]

bogwobbit Sat 22-Dec-12 23:24:52

Dh and I have both always worked full-time (my oldest two are now grown up, the younger two are 15 and 8) other than when dh was a student and even then he had an evening job. I would say that it this is probably fairly unusual amongs friends and accquaintances.
One of the worst things I find is having a longish commute to work as well as full time hours (2 hours per day) which although I'm used to it definitely makes things harder, particularly when after-school activities often seem to start at 6pm hmm

Casmama Sat 22-Dec-12 23:25:02

Bollocks grin

rosy71 Sat 22-Dec-12 23:26:33

We both work full-time - both teachers. Ds1 is 7 and ds2 is 4. They go to breakfast club every day and after-school club 3 times a week. Grandparents pick up on the other days. I've only recently gone full-time again - I was working 4 days a week. Until about 18 months ago, worked at the weekends and had days off with the boys in the week. I did notice things get harder to manage when he started working Monday-Friday again.

Both working full time, although I will be dropping to four days when things get less busy at work. I will have to work five days though from time to time and have to be contactable on my free day. I work 8:30-5, DH works at least a 12 hour day. It is hard but I don't want to give up work - I have worked my ass off to get where I am and I love my job (most of the time anyway). Children (3 and 1) are in nursery.

Most of my friends who have children of a similar age (pre-school) both work full time. I do think it becomes more difficult once they hit school age.

emsyj Sat 22-Dec-12 23:35:38

We both work ft at the moment, but I am 34 weeks pregnant and have arranged to return 4 days. DD is 2.5. I don't think we would manage long term with both of us doing ft - it's hectic. FiL & MIL have DD one day a week, she's with a CM the rest of the time. DH works at home 2 days and does drop off/pick up (I do a long day one of those days as I travel to a training centre and leave the house at 6.40am returning at 6.30pm) and I do drop off and pick up 2 days, we share the drop off to the ILs on a Friday and they bring DD home in the evening which is a help.

When I go back on 4 days I will be doing one long day (training centre), 2 normal days (flexible hours) in the office and one day at home (study). DH is going to drop a half day as he works a lot at home and in the evenings so he'll make up that time elsewhere (so effectively still FT, just re-jigged hours) which means DD will be at preschool 5 mornings plus at home with me one PM, with DH one PM, with ILs one PM and possibly with my DMum one PM and CM one too.... Baby will be 2.5 days with CM and 1 day with ILs.

It's all so bloody complicated and the logistics of pick up and drop off are what's tiring for us really - CM is 10 mins' drive away and it's not on the way to either of our workplaces, so it's an extra 25 mins at each end of the day. But DD is settled there so we don't want to move her.

I know a couple of other people who are both FT - one couple have ILs to do drop offs and pick ups plus they do 2 days of childcare a week, and the DH is a teacher who is home for 3.30pm every day. The DW works at home 2 days a week also. The other couple are both in nursing, she is a ward manager with a regular 9-5 job and they use the nursery that's on the hospital site which is £££ but convenient and good.

I don't know how people do it without flexible jobs and lots of help. My job is very relaxed and flexible and DH is very senior and can effectively come and go as he pleases so neither of us are tied to fixed start and finish times. If we were, I think it would be very very hard.

Arisbottle Sat 22-Dec-12 23:36:06

We both work full time, I would imagine that is the norm. Being a SAHM is not an option for most middle income types.

BlueyDragon Sat 22-Dec-12 23:36:44

Both full time under normal circs here (I'm on sick leave atm) with long hours. DCs are 5 and 2. It's difficult and exhausting but our respective specialisms don't really allow for PT so it's FT or nothing; I do have flexible working though so have some early starts and some late ones. Frankly without our nanny it would be almost impossible. We both work hard to make sure we have as much time with the DCs as possible. The precious moments brigade have nothing to say to me, probably because I'm at work grin. I don't feel I've missed anything and one or other of DH and I are at all DC1's school events, thanks to holidays, working from home or understanding employers. Maybe my DC will tell me a different story when they're older. It is easier now that more men are asking for time to go to children's plays and sports days, the corporate resistance seems to be less.

I know a few couples who are both full time but it is the exception rather than the rule. Usually one FT (usually the man) and one PT.

emsyj Sat 22-Dec-12 23:44:32

The other two couples I know who both work FT, the wife earns more than the husband (substantially more in one case). I am FT because I've just started a graduate scheme and I wanted to have a few months to find my feet. I can drop to 4 days without a problem, but I can't do any less for the next 4 years. Will see how things are then, and will consider dropping to 3 days - not sure yet.

We could afford for me to be at home, but I don't want to be - not all the time. I like my job and enjoy having a balance of work and home life, although I am finding FT is hard going and I'm looking forward to returning 4 days after mat leave.

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