How many of you have both parents working f/t?

(60 Posts)
YoSaffBridge Fri 21-Dec-12 23:01:32

Just saw a thread that made me think about this. I know I am in a rarity: DH and I both work f/t. Luckily DH works shifts so DD isn't in childcare any more than about 30 hours a week. Anymore than about 40 hours and I think I would prefer a nanny, which we can't afford. But at the moment, I am in a profession which is struggling through the recession so a f/t job is preferable to no job at all.

However I don't know anyone else who have both parents working f/t, or anyone else whose DH is probably doing more childcare. Now my friends are starting to go back to work, I'm beginning to get comments on us both working f/t.

I guess I'm just interested in a rough straw poll - how many people have both parents working f/t? I feel in a massive minority here.

Festivedidi Fri 21-Dec-12 23:07:36

We both work full time. Dd1 is now a teenager and she has grown up with me being a single parent working full time, then when she was 7 we moved in with dp and both of us work full time. She's happy, fairly successful at school, has friends, etc, fairly well-balanced as far as teenagers go.

Dd2 is 2years 9months. She has been at our lovely childminder full time since she was 6 months old. She's there from 8am-5pm Mon-Fri during term time. She absolutely loves the childminder and the other mindees, it's like having a second home, she actually said this the other day 'I have 2 houses, mummy's house and cm's house'. I don't know many families where both parents work full time but I do know some, and I have never had any comments about it.

solveproblem Fri 21-Dec-12 23:08:06

We're both working full time, both 9-5.

We also both work within a ten minutes walk from home/school/childminder so I can drop my eldest at school in the mornings which really helps.

Two year old with childminder 8.50-5.10 everyday and she also picks our 6-year old from school.

I grew up with working parents so in my eyes this is normality, but it is quite rare around here with both parents working.

lljkk Sat 22-Dec-12 09:41:20

(Not me, sorry, I have issues with exhaustion & couldn't do it). It does seem to be unusual in Britain. It's quite normal where I grew up, was the norm in my parents' generation, too, for both parents to work FT.

NotMostPeople Sat 22-Dec-12 09:43:46

I don't work, I'm not sure I'd do the same if I could turn back the clocks.

CMOTDibbler Sat 22-Dec-12 09:44:53

DH and I work ft, and both do some travel for work. No family help, but we make it all work out. DS is 6 now, and I went back to work at 4.5 months, so its been a long time!

HoleyGhost Sat 22-Dec-12 09:47:46

It depends on where you live. I've been a SAHM, now work full time. It is challenging in a different way.

Nevercan Sat 22-Dec-12 20:01:54

DH works full time and I work 3 days a week. We have dd1 1 yr and dd2 3 yrs.

ggirl Sat 22-Dec-12 20:13:57

both full time here but as children are older we don't have to use childcare , dh home in time for ds 3 days a week and me 2 days a week.
dd at uni

we use annual leave/babysitter/dd on schoolholidays

fluffygal Sat 22-Dec-12 20:24:42

We are both fulltime here, but I am f/t at uni (on placement) and also work part time on top of that. 2 year old DD at cm mon-fri 9-5 and other 4 children split between two cm's after school. This only started in september, before that I was working around DH so no childcare needed.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Sat 22-Dec-12 20:28:29

Both part-time. The only couple I know where both are full time have grandparents do the childcare lucky sods

gladyoucame Sat 22-Dec-12 20:35:07

I went back to work ft in Sept after just over 4 years as SAHM. DS1 (4) just started at school and DS (just 3) at nursery. PIL do afterschool/nursery Childcare. I love working Ft (+) and DH also does more than 9-5. Out the house at 7.45 every morning and hopefully one of us is home for 6-6.30, except at m/e when it's later. I love working again (but feel a bit guilty 'cos I enjoy it so much - it's easier than SAHM sometimes)

orangeberries Sat 22-Dec-12 20:35:23

theDoctrine I was going to say the same - without family support is very very difficult. I know people who both work full time but have no family around and they are exhausted all the time.

I work 3 days at the moment and just about cope. I do have 4 kids though, so maybe easier with less children, not sure. Just a huge juggling act, mainly due to illnesses and what feels like a constant stream of school demands (the last few weeks particularly demanding because of Christmas events, all happening at 2pm).

gladyoucame Sat 22-Dec-12 20:36:36

Btw was going back to work anyway if PIL not doing Childcare had decided to find afterschool nanny

SwedishEdith Sat 22-Dec-12 20:43:10

I did work f/t when I was a single parent, with no family support - had no alternative = knackered.

Panzee Sat 22-Dec-12 20:52:35

We did till husband got made redundant. Childcare was split between grandparents and childminder. Although I work term time only, if I didn't I would have probably gone part time.

DH and I both work ft, no family within 500 miles so do it all alone. Have 7yo, 6yo and 2yo. Older two are at school and youngest is with CM for about 34 hours each week.

I don't really see it as a struggle tbh, you don't miss what you've never had and I'm glad I made the decision to go back after having my first as I've continued getting promotions etc and managed to negotiate a huge pay rise (four figures) and flexible working -for returning from ML two months early after my 3rd.

Weirdly I find it much harder now they are in school, with the various events each week where a family member is expected to turn up - Xmas play, christingle service and Xmas walkabout all in the same wee grrr! Luckily I work flexible hours and from home 3 days out of five so can make most of these, but appreciate it may not be as easy for some.

For what it's worth, I don't know anyone else at either of my older dc's schools where both parents work ft.

solveproblem Sat 22-Dec-12 22:18:31

Superman: I'm starting to get really cross with everything going on at school all the time. I want to be involved but things are always at 9/10am or 2pm.

Had it been around lunchtime I could do it as I work near school, or if they had plays etc in the evenings....

That's one of the few things that make me feel like a shitty mother for working.

solveproblem Sat 22-Dec-12 22:20:22

Oh, and school never give us more than a weeks notice for these things so I can never plan meetings etc around it.

christmosschops30 Sat 22-Dec-12 22:21:43

We both work full time with three dcs! Am hoping to drop to four days in April though

NotSpartacus Sat 22-Dec-12 22:24:13

We do. We are unusual (the only parents who do this in my DD's class at school for example, and the only ones out of our friends).
Dh leaves at 7 and is back at 6. I leave at 8 and come back when I can. Sometimes we work from home. We have an excellent nanny. We couldn't do it otherwise.

PinotGrigioandaMincePie Sat 22-Dec-12 22:27:56

Both DH & me work 4 days a week so we need childcare for 3 days. This was partly by choice (me) and necessity (DH's hours got cut due to the recession).

ArtigeneAuberchoke Sat 22-Dec-12 22:36:45

DH and I both work ft (although my 41 hours ate compressed into 4 long days so I'm home Fridays). DCs are 6 and 4 but it's been like this since I went back when DC2 was 8 months. We have no helpful family and could not do it without a nanny.

I do have 9 weeks leave a year and take it all in the school hold. That makes all the difference in terms if my guilt levels. I enjoy my work but the guilt can be extreme. I wish there were more hours on the day so i could see the kids more and work. The continuity of a nanny the kids love also helps me feel less guilty.

This thread has made me realise that no other patents I know both work FT outside the home.

Balancedk Sat 22-Dec-12 22:38:35

I am the only parent and I work full-time, for me a good nursery has been the best choice. Time with my kids is quality time and my kids knowing that with our without my ex husband they can have a good standard of life is very important. Even when I was married I worked full-time. Every child and every family is different.Go with your gut...

Balancedk Sat 22-Dec-12 22:40:46

Do not let such things worry you, your kids know you are amazing.the will grow up with good social skills, a great role model and the ability to relate well to other people.Most importantly they will know how to share attention.

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