What was your gifted child like when they were 2 - 3 years old(84 Posts)
Won't go into too much detail but DS has been identified as potentially showing some signs of autism. One of the main things is that he extremely good with numbers and letters. Its early days still but it was also mentioned that some of the other signs might be toddler behavour that he grows out of and he might be gifted. When i look at the signs of autism and the signs of giftedness there is quite a big overlap. If your child is gifted what were they like at 2-3 and were they suspected of being autistic? Did they turn out to be autistic as well as gifted.
Formerly assessed? What are the findings of the more recent assessments?
I can tell you now your child is gifted and talented as you have just described my 3 children-2 have been formerly assessed and diagnosed and I have not bothered with the third as I now know what I am dealing with! Its a whirlwind when they are little but all I can say is - especially with the boys- you have to play the long game- my son will be in his element when he is at university but senior school is hard as he is operating in a totally different level to his peers and that can make school hard!. ...I am not saying that to be a show off- its just a fact-- in fact its very very hard to be gifted and talented- and its hard for parents- its not the ""golden prize" I thought I was being given and can often lead to your child being isolated because of their different way of looking at the world....
Treasure their curiosity and unique approach to life- their intensity and passion- it will stand you in good stead for the phone calls from the school and the lack of party invites!!!! But honestly- thank heavens we are all different as I tell my children-how boring would the world be if we all saw things the same way and were all good at the same things!
gatorgolf, My ds has been extremely hyperlexic since early age, and had quite difficult reception year, although his teacher was quite understanding to his academic needs. It became better since YR1 with structured work, and especially after we started to give him resources at home which feeds his interest.
My ds loved phonics even he was able to read already, and is helping him decode harder words he encounters now, so I think it's useful.
He was flagged up at 2 year check up to be referred to paediatrician and they found inconclusive for ASD , but his traits seems to be disappearing slowly, although I think some might always be there. I still don't know he is just gifted or has ASD, but having a quite happy school life at the moment in YR3.
We have appointment paediatrician appointment end of month. Things at school seem to be getting really bad and he seems to be spending a lot of time out of the class due to outbursts. He's now started refusing to go to phonics because it's boring and he knows all the sounds and has thrown things in the class as a result. The maths they are doing is number bonds to 10 which he can do really easily although I think the teacher does give him some harder maths sometimes
Ds is 13 and has AS. He was diagnosed at almost 9.
Was obsessed with street sweepers of all things and anything Egyptian.
Learnt to write in hiroglyphics at nursery but really struggled in school with social issues.
Dd is in reception and I've been looking for similar signs ( can't help it ) but there are none. She's extremely bright, stubborn and independent and is amazing at art and craft.
My child with AS was toilet trained earlier than dd and that was the only thing she wasn't advanced with.
Ds has confidence issues and severe anxiety and I feel like he could try harder a lot of the time but he's happy and that's all that matters.
Dd is flourishing and expect her to do very well. She's a lazy madam though and hates cleaning up after herself in school if she's been doing craft etc.
my brother has 2 boys on the spectrum so were wondering if we have a family history...
That said, everyone is supposed to have traits, it depends on how severe they are and how it affects your life.
My daughter is now 7, but in hindsight she's always been gifted but having nothing to compare her to I thought it was just 'normal'. She has always had a very long attention span, which was commented on by the HV and her childminder. She was also a very early talker at 12 months and never really went through the baby talk phase - went straight to 'full' sentences. She has always had a fascination with books and all of my family are readers, so it wasn't unusual for us to read to her and have books around the place. By 2 she had taught herself to read by using a phonics toy we had and putting the subtitles on the TV...to this day I have no idea how she did it.
Her love of reading has continued to this day (phew!) and her focus has now moved onto maths.
We had problems with maths at school so asked the year 1 teacher how she differentiated work (Dc was apparently disruptive after they'd finished all the maths sheets). After this harder work was available on the shelves & dc could go & help themselves. Child ended up being offered scholarships to senior schools & doing well in public exams.
I remember this thread. Good to see an update!
Even if you do end up with a diagnosis, it sounds like he's settling in school and doing not too badly, so hopefully it would be a case of making some minor adjustments and allowances.
Also suffering "it's too easy syndrome" with maths here, and DS wasn't nearly as precocious as yours. We finally managed to persuade DS to ask the teacher to give him something harder this term instead of just staring out of windows then grumbling at home - proves to be much more successful than anything we could say!
Op here under a new name. So here we are nearly three years later. Ds had a few issues at the start of reception but I think these were mainly that he doesn't like change but we eventually sorted these and he seemed to be getting on well by end of year. Year one I thought he was doing ok but got called in before Christmas and issue of asd was brought up. They didn't specifically mention at first but I knew the way it was going from what they were saying so cut to the chase so to speak. Waiting for assessment at the minute, still not sure what way things will go, still not convinced either way myself, part of me still thinks that ds is just very socially immature for his age. I'm not 100% convinced that he is being stimulated at school which was the issue at his first pre school and it improved massively when we moved him. I've not said this to teacher but I did tell them about this happening at pre school and the Senco made a comment to the teacher that that couldn't be the case now. I just know that the weekly maths homework he brings home he can do in about 5 seconds flat but maybe they do harder stuff at school
Just about to read the replies.
I wouldn't consider my DS to be gifted and talented as I know some impossibly intelligent genius children! He is bright though. Got one level 6 for his year 6 sats and two level 5a's. Now aged 13 he's enjoying school and finds it quite easy.
DS was a utter book worm aged 2/3. I could read to him for an hour and he'd want another hour of stories after! He could read chapter books by Roald Dahl by 5 1/2 or 6 years. He could devour a huge pile of library books in a week.
On his second birthday day he was speaking in 7 word sentences. So not amazing but more then expected for his age. He was a quiet, reflective child with a good sense of humour.
The main difference Is that children with autism struggle with other people's feelings while children who are simply gifted will be average or excellent understanding of interpersonal skills.
It's a long time ago but DD was identifiably "different" as a toddler - her preschool teacher picked up on it immediately, although at the time we thought she was just normal (first child so nothing to compare with). She was very mature for her age, very quick, very verbal, could read fluently in 2 languages at 3 (bilingual). Very sociable and imaginative. Not especially interested in numbers, and not obsessive at all - if anything she had a fairly short attention span.
My DS was quite different - less verbal, more numbers-oriented, obsessive, long attention span for solitary activities. Not very sociable. As a toddler he had a lot of behaviours that were suggestive of an ASD but I am certain that he is not on the spectrum. He's not nearly as gifted as his sister though (he's particularly able in maths, but no more so than DD, who is more or less equally able across the board).
This has been a very useful thread, thanks for the bump.
Several healthcare workers and school teachers have hinted that they think DS may be on the autistic spectrum and this always really annoys me. I am inclined to think that it is just very lazy of them to jump to this conclusion.
DS has many of the traits mentioned above for gifted children - he started to teach himself to read at about 18 months and, now aged 5, his teacher is amused when she finds words that he can't spell (this is a very good teacher who has never suggested ASD). DS is exceptional with numbers also and has some obsessive traits - especially when he spots something new to learn.
However he does also have some traits that could be interpreted as ASD by someone trying to explain why they find him difficult - his speech has been delayed due to a specific physical characteristic of his mouth which makes it hard for him to pronounce many sounds, being a sensitive boy who is a perfectionist he is very self conscious about it and consequently he talks very little, especially to strangers (they simply do not understand him). As a defence mechanism he tends not to take eye contact with strangers and will even wander off apparently not paying them any attention or change the subject to one that he can manage - numbers normally - he occasionally just talks to himself or hums when confronted by especially difficult, strange adults. I can see how this looks but for them to immediately start muttering about autism without asking any more in-depth questions just irritated the hell out of me. I took him out of speech therapy for this reason.
DS is very engaging, he has some great close friends, he takes and holds eye contact with adults and children. He is very sensitive to others feelings and is trying very hard to control his own extreme emotions (this can be quite entertaining to watch ). He plays on his own but he far prefers to play with others.
Thank you for this thread, I have tried to seek support as I too have been told by nursery and hv that my DS is gifted, yet I find myself apologising for it and hiding it as some people turn quite nasty esp on facebook groups. He is good with numbers and recognises them, will follow instructions correctly such as can you get me three red bricks, or 4 blue bricks etc. He can trace lines very very well. He can copy letters and is 16 months. Only just had first words so a bit late on speech, but he was walking at 11 months.
I really hate it when people tell me supporting him is cruel. No signs of autism though. Looking forward to the next stage now his speech is starting...#
this is a good article about the differences between "mere giftedness" and high functioning autism:
being excellent with numbers and letters is not in itself a sign of autism (although obsessive interest without any interest in other people might be). The main difference is that gifted children do understand what other people think, they might notice they are odd, they have empathy and can identify feelings in others. Not easy to see in a 2 year old maybe, but in a 3-4 year old you should be able to tell.
I kept wondering the same about ASD with my DC who was, well "different" and quirky and very inflexible, but it is slowly starting to emerge that it's just giftedness and a strong personality.
DS1 has been identified as gifted (he's 6).
At 3 he was 'odd'...and still is now. He's quirky, and one of the comments that people frequently make about him is that he's like a 'little old man' (in an endearing way!)
At 2 he was referred for speech therapy, and at 3 he was having fairly intensive speech therapy due to very delayed/poor pronunciation...at 3 his pronunciation was more like that of an 18 month old, but his vocabulary was far advanced. This actually made his pronunciation problem appear worse, because he was coming out with things that you wouldn't expect a three year old to.
It was difficult and embarrassing at times, because I was his interpreter. He'd say something to someone, they'd look at me for me to 'interpret' and when i'd repeat what he said the person would look at me like I was crazy and clearly making it up. One example was him telling a little old lady in a shop that we'd been really lucky with the weather because it was sunny, but because of the low pressure zone coming in from the South it should really be raining. She looked at me like I was crazy, and I stopped repeating what he was saying word for word and started being a bit more general
His memory was (still is now) amazing. He hears something once, and know it. If he watches something on TV, even something complex, he could still tell you all about it a week or two later. When he was 3.5 he found an old set of flash cards with animals on them, which was a set of 45. He was messing about with them for about 20 minutes, then brought me the whole pile of them face down, very carefully,, and asked me to test him because he'd been learning them in order. He repeated every one of them in the order he'd given them to me, all 45.
He was very organised, he liked routines and rules. He wanted to make lists all the time and would ask me to help him spell some words, so he could write massive lists...of things to shop for, his favourite animal, the biggest Countries in the World, all the people he knew with green eyes, or whose name started with the same letter as his.
All his toys would be lined up and ordered by size, colour, shape or how long he'd had it.
I have never known any child to get so genuinely engrossed in something. Lots of kids tune out when they're in front of cartoons for instance...but ds1 would do it with anything. When he was concentrating on eating his dinner, when he was doing a jigsaw or playing with blocks, when he was watching the cats play and chase each other...I could be standing two feet away from him nearly shouting his name, and i'd get no response. At times it was like he was locked in his own mind.
He was assessed more than once for autism, and for hearing problems. But they all came back fine. My HV was disbelieving and convinced he was autistic, and kept trying to refer him every few months.
The 'little old man' comments now, come from the things he says. He will make a beeline for ds2's reception teacher and ask how ds2 has behaved in class today, will rub his chin thoughtfully and then say 'That's really good to hear! Please tell me if anything changes'. A couple of weeks ago we were in a pub, waiting to be seated for lunch and the dad of the family next to us had a pint of larger. Ds1 leaned over and said 'I hope you're not going to be driving your car after that, driving after drinking can be dangerous for you and everyone around you' I wanted the ground to swallow me whole. The main thing we're trying to teach ds now is about filtering, how 'facts' can come across as rudeness, and how he can't always blurt out to people what's in his mind, even when it's true. He is getting it slowly, but we've had a few 'But why? Isn't it true? So why can't I say it?' conversations.
dD appeared gifted but used to do things like looking at lights and just naming hundreds of things, no conversational speech and poor joint attention. I think that is key difference, I was a sociable child with lots of imaginative play.
(DD's ASD doesn't seem inherited)
I was a gifted child. Apparently I taught myself to read before 2 (hard to believe from my ramblings on here) and had very precocious speech.
I am however NT
Ds was a quiet and isolated baby/toddler, didn't communicate well, didn't turn his head when called and struggled with eye contact, but was very interested in anything mechanic, and numbers/clocks/number plates. Even though he didn't speak before he was 3, he would always point at numbers, put things in order of size, spot patterns, spot shapes. He knew all his letter sounds before he could even speak. He was tested an observed by Ed psychologists, neurologists, and other specialists as there were concerns from us and nursery - pre-school about him being autistic, but it turned out that he has a speech disorder called Developmental Verbal Dyspraxia, and now in year 3 he is G&T in maths. He is also very good at all subjects, but his understanding of maths concepts is exceptional.
A royal pain in the arse.
Always throwing tantrums - going on for several hours at a time. Refusing to accept they were so small and very very opinionated!
thread bumped for person asking about gifted and asd. This was my thread from about a year and a half ago (name changed).
oh and DS was, and still is, fast as lightning on building those lego things with 100s of tiny pieces or any other type of construction activity ...no lack of focus there...
My DS is at a superselective grammar which he got into on his own merits without tutoring. He is in top 1- 2% academically in terms of actual attainment.... At 6/7, he displayed symptoms of ADHD, boundless energy, wouldn't sit still, lapses of inattention, ...though never diagnosed. Always highly numerate, sociable, early reader but a late talker....and limited sentence structure when he was 4 compared to peers who were much more articulate especially the girls I felt. So you never can tell....but I would never ascribe the label "gifted" to a child of 11 and it makes me laugh that others ask that if their 2 or 4 year olds are G&T...meaningless really. You will know if they are "ahead" or "bright" in certain spheres when they sit tests competitive with other children at certain milestones, but their levels may change with age ....some may peak at 11 and may not fulfil potential at 16....trick is to make sure they keep n the scent of having a desire to learn at all ages. By the way, his school also has some very bright Asperger types, who are very focussed, often in their own world but not very sociable...no doubt some of them will end up with several A* and at top unis....but I suspect they didn't talk at lot even when young.
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