I'm currently going through this - and the things that are working for me are... Lots of water, Laxido (a stool softener), scheriproct steroid cream and suppositories, paracetamol, and diclofenac (an anti inflammatory) for the swelling etc.
It takes time to heal (4 weeks for me now) but it will get better.
Cream, or ointment, any of the ones mentioned, for the external pile. I find pessaries work best to shrink the internal ones. Use both as there is likely stuff going on inside too.
Go to the loo as soon as you get the urge, don't put it off because you know it will hurt, this aggravates them.
Use wet wipes, baby wipes will do, as this is more soothing than toilet paper.
Eat things that help you go, as others have said, or try laculose, the softer the poo is, the better.
If it doesn't clear up in 5 days visit your GP.
And if all this works, be aware that it may reoccur. As soon as it starts to flare up get back on the cream, as catching it early helps prevent it getting really bad. I'm sorry you're going through this, it's very painful.
Keep your poo nice and soft for the next few days by taking lactulose liquid from the chemist, a mild laxative, and plenty of liquids, constipation will aggravate!
The strongest cream you can buy over the counter is Anusol HC, which has a steroid in it to take down the inflammation and reduce itching, like branching said you can also buy stuff with anaesthetic in (Germoloids) to numb.
I'd probably give it a few more days and if no better see GP. The joys of childbirth eh!
Bit embarrassed haven't spoken to anyone apart from DP about this but since last week I have had this horrendous lump, it's my own fault as I ate v badly last weekend, got constipated, had a bleeding bum when going to the toilet nori have this lump. I've had it before and it's right on my scar from a childbirth tear don't know if that makes it worse.
I've been applying creams about 4 times a day but it's still agony to the point I can always feel it, walking/sitting is painful. It's driving me insane. Can't get erm intimate either.