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Why is my DH so inept when I am ill?

(12 Posts)
digerd Fri 14-Dec-12 16:09:35

My DH was brilliant when I was away for weeks. We had no children but did have small dogs. He was by nature clean and tidy and well organised and worked full-time away from home. BUT he could not cope with illness or even talk about it. When I was diagnosed with a malignant mole, he said there was nothing wrong with it!! When I had it taken out, he said nothing. When the results came back that it was a malignant melanoma caught just in time, still not a word. I had a smaller one on my back that looked suspicious and was told to keep an eye on it, but when I asked DH to look at it he said " looks fine to me"

lurkingfromhome Thu 13-Dec-12 16:51:53

Same here. Marvellous in all other respects but dreadful nurse. Very good for the first 24 hours then just gets bored with it all ...

Lancelottie Wed 12-Dec-12 10:25:02

I shall cringe guiltily here.

I tend to forget to feed DH when he's ill, and I'm the world's rattiest sick nurse.

buildingmycorestrength Wed 12-Dec-12 10:21:31

I have been ill on and off for months and really struggle with this. I have now got him trained to do all food shopping (online), sort kitchen out, and do packed lunches, but I thank god for our wonderful cleaner and I cannot trust him with the washing. Days when I'm okay I tidy and deal with all the stuff that builds up. And I have had to accept that he is never going to be an good nurse or really even be able to pretend sympathy, it just isn't him. Drives me a bit crazy but I would be driven more crazy wishing he were different.

corblimeymadam Mon 10-Dec-12 21:03:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RockinD Mon 10-Dec-12 19:51:00

Mine has a mental block about feeding me when I'm ill. Some time ago I had a chest infection and was in bed for several days...and reduced to scavenging from the fridge.

There are lots of other instances - I've asked him why, but he can't explain.

My DH is an absolute star in every way except for this. He's like, quit bugging me!! - When I ask him for water to swallow tablets with, say.
Mind you I am super-annoying when I'm sick and call his name incessantly and then say, I'm lonely come talk to me. So I can't really blame him

nananaps Mon 10-Dec-12 16:54:53

Useless but in training here in this house.

Im afraid that i have little tolerance for fuckwits, and this extends to my DH.

Im due to have a baby soon and he will be expected to take over.

Dont get me wrong he is brilliant as electrics/building/DIY/repairs/decorating/fitting kitchens/bathrooms etc.

But somehow cannot run a hoover over or load a washing machine. (well, let me tell you..he can now!)

Stuff like washing DS's school uniform, making sure he has clean stuff for the week, keeping on top of the cleaning and tidying rather than letting it all build up.
He also has an allergy to wiping work surfaces after cooking or making a sandwich!

Gahhhhh!

Sargesaweyes Mon 10-Dec-12 16:46:48

I have a sickness bug and dp is being crap. He is off work looking after ds as I'm so rough. When I asked if I could have a glass of water he said 'just use the tap!' He hasn't done anything else in the house at all.

nightcat Mon 10-Dec-12 16:45:04

they cant really do multitasking, usually one thing at the time

PigletJohn Mon 10-Dec-12 16:43:47

lack of practice

surely you didn't marry a man who still lived with his mum?

carocaro Mon 10-Dec-12 16:21:25

Working from home, he's not that busy, super stressing because the phone goes and the doorbell rings, can't fathom about making fish fingers and going to eldests haircut appt. Both him and children all ill for the last 10 days and I catered (as you do)for every whim 24/7, day 1 and he's useless, totally useless! I have done the dishwasher and washing too! Why such a friggin tailspin?

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