Oh god I don't know where to start with this but I think I just need to talk about it and blurt out my mixed feelings . DP is out so can't talk to him but also think I want the anonimity here as my relationship with mum is not what it should be and I think I might be being a bitch.
Basically I've been thinking about posting about my mums revelling in health issues for ages but never got round to it - you know what its like, you get wound up and want to post but by the time you get on MN the moments passed. Also I feel bad about whinging about her despite the fact I find it increasingly difficult to spend time with her.
Anyway when we speak on the phone shes always updating me with her latest aches, pains, medical appts (mainly to do with type 2 diabetes, eye problems, medications for various aches). She is over 70 so a lot of it I guess is standard for her age. But its got to the stage where she has little else to say other than about her latest check-ups and appts or if you talk about something else she'll interject with a story about her bad nights sleep due to an aching hip or something. If its not her ailments its someone elses.
Last week she had a mammogram (wasn't called for one as they don't routinely scan women over 70 but she asked for one -no symptoms, just thought she would phone up and ask for one. Is that weird in itself? To seek out a scan when you don't have symptoms or worries?). It showed what they said was probably calcium spots but today she went for results and they now want her to go back next week for further biopsy/tests.
At first she told me that today they'd said the lumps weren't necessarily cancerous but they wanted to do further tests but then she went on to say that they would remove just the lumps if they could and if not, they would remove the breast. This would probably be before xmas "but don't worry I don't want you to not go to (my inlaws) for xmas". I kept reminding her that they'd said they weren't necessarily cancerous but she seems to have made her mind up that shes having an op.
My mixed emotions are kicking in in that obviously I don't want her to be ill but have to face she may have cancer. On the other hand I'm (not sure of emotion to use here .....cross/irritated/confused?) that shes telling me all this with almost a hint of excitement in her voice .
This is where the "am I being a bitch" bit comes in....I felt as if she was revelling in the fact that she might be ill, that it might affect everyones Xmas (as she dropped that bit in about us going to the inlaws before I'd even thought about it). It was all a bit "don't worry about me, I'll just spend xmas in hospital or at home on my own recuperating" (she didn't say these words but that was the tone and implication.
Can someone either give me a slap and tell me to stop being a bitch or give me some wise words on how to deal with this please. I don't know what anyone can say . Maybe I'm hoping for someone who can see their mum or gran or whatever in what I've said and can advise.
Oh and I'm going with her to next weeks appt. so hopefully I'll get an accurate picture of whats happening
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General health
Mum who revels in health issues now possibly ill - I just need to talk about this
37 replies
emptywinebox · 07/12/2012 21:28
OP posts:
Footle ·
08/12/2012 08:17
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