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I'm wondering if there's something wrong with me, or if it's just chronic exhaustion(53 Posts)
I'm not sure whether to go to the GP, or just wait to see if my health improves when (if) my sleep does.
By way of background I have three DSs under the age of 5. None of them sleep well and I haven't had an unbroken night of sleep in almost 5 years (on the handful of occasions when all three have slept through I have woken anyway). It may well be that this is the root cause of my symptoms, and I would be delighted if that were the case! I also work FT.
I am 37.
I am permanently exhausted. I find it hard to concentrate. I am frighteningly forgetful.
I wake up tired.
My whole body aches when I get up from sitting, from my heels up to my shoulders. I hobble for several steps before I can walk normally.
My feet and hands tingle/go numb. I think my tingly hands are due to carpal tunnel syndrome, which comes and goes. I'm not sure about my feet - my GP thought it was a trapped nerve and suggested wearing flat shoes which helps somewhat, although my little toes are still numb.
We went to a theme park on Saturday and I had to go to bed at 7:45PM when we got home.
My DM has multiple sclerosis, and I worry that I may have it too.
Is how I'm feeling normal, under my circumstances? Or should I go back to my GP?
But, that said, I'm going to ask to be signed off for a week, as a short term fix, to try to feel a bit more human again.
I would be tempted to tell DH he has to sit up all night once in a while to let you have a proper night, if he sleeps too deeply to be woken. It won't kill him
TBF (not what I felt like being at the weekend!) he has offered to do the thing suggested upthread, where he would sleep with the monitors right next to his bed and I would go to the spare room with ear plugs in. He's also offered for me to go to a hotel for the weekend on my own, or for him to take the boys out at the weekend so I can sleep all day. But I don't want to spend my whole weekend asleep. I want to be with by DH and DCs.
Plus, it's only really a sticking plaster. What I really want is to get the root cause of their sleep issues sorted out so I can start to live my life again.
Since I started this thread, we've had our first consultation with the sleep clinic about DS1's parasomnias, and they've assured us that things will improve. We've been doing a few things 'wrong' and we've got a plan in place to put them right. Realistically, he won't ever be a great sleeper, and is likely to sleepwalk when he's older, but we should be able to reduce the frequency of his night-terrors from several per night to one or two per week.
I think that DS2 and DS3's sleep issues are far more straightforward, but I've lost confidence in my ability to sort them out. I want to refer us back as a whole family. I thought that if we could get DS1 sorted then I could cope with DS2 and DS3. But I can't.
Apart from anything else, I think I would find it far easier to put difficult advice into practice if an expert has told me what to do (one of the hardest pieces of advice with DS1 is not to wake him from his night-terrors. They think that night-terrors occur when a sleeper's brain gets 'stuck' between two different dream states; you have to let their brain make its own transition. If you wake them then their brain hasn't 'reset' itself and the sleeper falls straight into another night-terror. It completely goes against my instinct to leave DS1 sobbing and screaming in his bed, especially because his eyes are open and he looks awake. But it works, and he has no recollection of it the next morning).
Can you get signed off for a while? The carpal tunnel sounds enough to stop you working. That could give you a chance to catch up with some sleep?
I would be tempted to tell DH he has to sit up all night once in a while to let you have a proper night, if he sleeps too deeply to be woken. It won't kill him!
The foot version is called tarsal tunnel BTW - my mum had it mildly, before that I didn't even know it existed!
Excellent news (well sort of - in that you have an answer!)
And good for you for laying into your h about it. Hope you get the support you need now.
Just a quick update about the tests I had on Friday.
I had various uncomfortable but not painful electrical shocks put through both hand and both feet. I then had needles pushed into various muscles in my legs while I had to contract and relax the muscles - that hurt a lot!
It turns out that I have severe carpal tunnel syndrome in both hands. I will have to have operations on both wrists, ideally deferred until DS3 can walk; my neurologist wants to look at the results in detail before deciding if it can wait.
I also have the equivalent to carpel tunnel syndrome in both feet. This is reasonably rare so doesn't have a name as such. It's less severe than in my wrists, and may resolve itself with cortisol injections rather than operations.
I still have my blood test results to collect, but I'm now hopeful that we've got to the bottom of the tingling/numbness.
I also threw my toys out of the pram with DH over the weekend. I told him that I can't live with the exhaustion any longer and that short term fixes like napping at the weekend aren't good enough. We've agreed that we'll self-refer back to the private sleep clinic that help us manage DS1's night-terrors to get help with DS2 and DS3.
There's a good book out called 'Wheat Belly" by William Davis M.D. which is frightening about the symptoms of wheat intolerance. BTW
I make my own bread with Kamut flour or spelt it's easier because they don't need kneading my mum uses spelt flour in her breadmaker too. So you don't have to give up bread at all!! You'll get linseed oil in Tesxxs.Kelp too or spirulina (that's another type of kelp)
Right. I don't have kelp or linseed oil to hand, but I've just taken a multivitamin. Off to the shops later to see what I can get from Tesco.
Pork is easy - I hardly eat it anyway.
Wheat is a bit harder, not least because I love baking my own bread. I think I'll try the other things first, and look at cutting wheat out if I'm still struggling.
Oh also Evening Primrose oil is another good EFA.
I'm not sure about that Cinna the medics said that to DH as well; but he spends much more time in the sun than me 'cos he has olive skin. I'm much healthier than him 'cos I take my health seriously. D.H. is off and on but he has def. given up pork which has made a huge difference !!But as I said the diet thing can totally cure many more things than most people have any idea about!
The linseed oil and starflower oil is for EFAs (Essential Fatty Acids) which we all need more of. Also the kelp has most vitamins in it.
Just got back from the consultant.
It was very much as Dinosaurs described - he took a detailed medical history and then did a battery of reflex-based tests on my arms, legs and eyes.
The great news is that he found no evidence of systematic central nervous system damage, and ruled out MS there and then. I'm so relieved! I hadn't realised quite now worried about MS I was.
There does seem to be some localised nerve damage in my hands and feet. I have to go back tomorrow afternoon for more tests which will look at how well my nerve cells transmit electrical currents. I'm not clear on whether it will focus on just the local issues or be wider, but as it's due to take an hour it sounds quite comprehensive.
I then go back to see him next Thursday when he'll discuss both my electric test and my blood test results.
Interestingly, he talked about vitamin D a lot, both in the context of MS and more widely.
He's been involved in a recent study which demonstrated an almost complete corrolation between incidence of MS and sunlight exposure, factoring in cultural differences (so, for example, that Scandanavian coutries get less sunlight than Scotland but have more of an outdoors culture which more than compensates). He is also involved in an ongoing genetic study which has demonstrated that people with MS show variations in 4 key genes which are associated vitamin D absorption/inhibition.
Pure speculation on my part, but given my DM has MS, I wonder if perhaps I share some of her genetic variations - not enough to trigger MS, thankfully, but enough to mean that I'm not as efficient at absorbing vitamin D as the norm?
Thanks to everyone who has posted. I'll keep you informed.
(ppeatfruit - interesting that you mention diet. I'm really ignorant about these things. Do you know if wheat, pork, kelp and lindseed have anything at all to do with vitamin D?)
One easy thing you could do is look at yr. wheat intake, DH gets terrible fatigue,bad temper and bloating if he eats wheat (when he doesn't he's like a different person).
So many things have wheat in them but the supermkts. are getting better with the wheat free bread, pasta etc.
For the pains you could also try not eating any pork products. DH cured his disabling pains just by giving up pork products !! Also maybe a kelp supplement and linseed oil could help.
Oops sorry didn't realise there was page 2 glad u getting seen to x
You sound a lot like me. I have rheumatoid arthritis plus 4 children who seem to have organised a rota of night wakings between themselves.
I have to really look after myself else I suffer really bad - not just arthritis aches but also exhaustion and the fatigue u describe - like have been doing a full work out.
I hope your appointment goes well this morning
Glad you went to GP. Keep us posted. Good luck.
CinnabarRed Although a lot older than you but like you have 2 SN's children your symptoms replicate mine to a "T"
In desperation I went to GP had blood tests and like Tigerfeet my vit D was rock bottom and also calcium levels were very high. I was diagnosed with hyperparathyroidism and am now waiting for parathyroid surgery
I FEEL LIKE CRAP
Good luck for tomorrow
I certainly don't deserve a medal! I'm one of those who find working less stressful than looking after young children.
And your plan still works with a pizza deliverer involved - they've got to eat, you know!
I'm lucky, I don't work so don't need an active mind every day and can rest and take it easy whilst ds3 plays. I go to bed very early of an evening and mn on my phone until I fall asleep. I couldn't cope in your position, I think you need a medal!
Four boys is brilliant. I have it all planned out, I'm going to have a builder, plumber, electrician and an interior designer and between the four of them they can build me a house! A few flaws to the plan - ds2 wants to deliver pizza but I live in hope
Dinosaurs - that sound tough. I hope you have family and friends supporting you. 4 sons is very special.
GP today and specialist appt tomorrow at 9am - wow you have a special dr there.
I know. My private health insurance company has also been excellent. My GP gave me the names of 2 neurologists at the local private hospital. I called my PHI provider and they gave me an authorisation number on the phone and confirmed that one of the two neurologists is already on their system so is pre-approved for payments from them. So I called his secretary, who'd just had a cancellation for tomorrow and offered it to me there and then. My GP is faxing her referral overnight.
It would have been a wait of around 3 months for an NHS consultant. My GP said that if I had PHI then now was the time to use it. So I did. I'm very lucky to be in a position where private care is a possibility.
Blood test results due next Tuesday.
Excellent news about the referral and blood tests. Hopefully it won't be long before you find out what's going on
I am sorry you are feeling so rough and im glad the doctor is on the ball and you are going to be seen so quickly.
I have seen a neurologist and just to put your mind at rest it's not as scary as it sounds. He just asked a few questions, tapped my knees, stroked my face - testing reflexes I think. And that was it. He made a referral for an MRI which I have next week. I was scared before my appointment though as I had no idea what to expect.
Your sleepless nights sound awful. Ds3 is a terrible sleeper and the only way I've found to cope is to have him in the bed with me. I don't have a partner anymore but when I did I would often leave him to sleep on the sofa - he always slept through ds crying and never got up with him. Ds4 is due at the end of January and I am dreading the sleepless nights. I function at the moment as I go to bed at 7.30pm with ds3, and often sleep during the day with him when he naps. I don't know how to advise you or help you but you have my sympathy.
GP today and specialist appt tomorrow at 9am - wow you have a special dr there.
Let us know what the neurologist said - never been seen by one of those myself.
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