Mumsnet Talk

My first baby's first birthday would have been this week if I hadn't suffered a miscarriage. I'm finding it really hard and I'd like to do something constructive to help me feel a little more positive. I'm considering planting something in our garden to commemorate that baby and ideally I'd like it to be something that would flower at this time every year. Can anyone recommend something?

(Please note, I am a gardening novice, so this would also need to be ridiculously easy to look after!)

I am so sorry for your loss.

At this time of year, it will mainly be shrubs that flower.

This is flowering in my garden now, the scent is gorgeous.

This too is in flower and smells gorgeous

This is just coming into flower, but isn't quite as fragrant.

It's difficult to predict whether these things would flower in January every year because until a few days ago things were unseasonably mild, but they're all pretty good bets (unless you're in the north of Scotland). They don't need much care, either.

Some camellias and witch hazel also flower now.

Oh and I love your MN name!

Thank you for your kind words, advice and for appreciating my name

Looking at those pictures, I think we have some of the third one in our garden already (clearly planted by a green fingered former owner as we have no clue what is back there!) but I'm just about to pop out to the garden centre to look for the first two. Thank you again.

You're very welcome. I hope having something beautiful in your garden to commemorate your baby will bring you comfort.

I've been snooping in neighbours' front gardens today to see what they have flowering. This is just coming into flower.

If you haven't already found something beautiful at the garden centre, another thought I had today was that lots of plants have varieties that carry people's names. If you want to PM me your baby's name, I could look to see whether there is any plant with that name.

Maud's suggestions are all good <waves - it's ChristinedP here, wearing a new hat as it were > and also they were recommending Viburnum Bodnantense 'Dawn' on Gardeners' Question Time the other day which is a really fabulously fragranced shrub with pretty flowers.

I am sorry for your loss too - I planted a tree in memory of my miscarried baby and I found it really helped to watch it grow and go through seasonal changes.

If you want something smaller, then there are loads of beautiful hellebores around like this. Needs no care at all: if the leaves start looking a bit scabby then just hack them off.

Hello Patti. Are you going to come back to the Happy Horti Cult thread?

I didn't recommend VB 'Dawn' because mine isn't in flower yet - it seems to be a week or two behind the others - but I agree it's a lovely plant and much nicer than the bog-standard viburnum tinus.

Im very sorry to read of your loss and think that a commemoration in the garden is a lovely idea.
In myn garden at the moment in flower are cyclamen (bought from morrisons ages ago, and happily popping up under some of the later flowering bushes )and winter honeysuckle. Both hardy and scented.

Chinese Witchhazel -Hammamelis Mollis varieties 'Diane' or 'Jelena' flowers from January-february and is heavily sented with autumnal red/orange coloured leaves;
Try Helleborus Niger-the Christmas Rose or Helleborus Orientalis 'Red Lady'
Also many varieties of Snowdrops-Galanthus and Winter Aconites-Aconitus

Viburnum Bodnantense 'Dawn' - scented and pink
Abeliophyllum Distichum - scented, white blooms
Chimonanthus Praecox var 'Luteus' - the flowering wintersweet- yellow blooms
Clematis Cirrhosa Balearica 'Wisley Cream' or 'Freckles'
Daphne Bholua 'Jaqueline Postill' - heavily scented

Cornus Mas - yellow and bright
Coronilla Valentina 'Citrina'
Varieties of Camellia Sinensis or Japonica
Lonicera Purpusii 'Winter Beauty' -winter honeysuckle - white and scented
Mahonia Japonica 'Winter Sun' - yellow and bright

Sarcococca Hookeriana var Digyna- very strong scent but insignificant flowers
Iris Unguicularis var Angustifolia- gorgeous blue flowers
Cyclamen Coum - delicate pink, red or white blooms like tiny dancing buterflies

If you are in the South or on the west coast benefiting from the Gulf Stream, then your plants will bloom earlier. Also if they are in a sheltered position, flowering can be earlier.

Look at the Plant Finder on line or David Austin Roses for plants bearing the same name as your child.

Winter honeysuckle, mentioned a couple of times above, is lovely and very very hardy. I love it.

Snowdrops are out round here if you don't want a shrub.

We planted a witchhazel when on a similar mission - they smell gorgeous, and can make a dark corner glow - lovely plants.

I am, Maud! I am feeling slightly dishearted as have had scaffolding up round the house for last couple of months (I have a v small garden) and I suspect it has killed a lot of things off for good

However, this does give me the opportunity to plant new things - have to look for the positives!

disheart*en*ed ffs

If OP does opt for a shrub, a mix of hellebores and snowdrops would look beautiful beneath it.

See you there, Patti!

Thank you ladies. These are all lovely suggestions (I think! But clearly I know nothing about plants)

I particularly like the idea of a shrub and snowdrop mix, and now that you've mentioned snowdrops I'll think of my first pregnancy every time I see them, so thank you.

I'm going to print this thread out and take it with me to the garden centre tomorrow so that I can track down your suggestions.

Thank you again

Again, you are welcome. Good luck with your quest.

Did you find a single man in possession of a good fortune, by the way?

Well, I found a single man. Not too sure about the good fortune

Oh, and do please come back and let us know what you've planted, once you've been to the garden centre and made a decision.

My Winter honeysuckle is newly planted and still tiny and yet smells amazing,as others have said.My camelias are just starting to flower and I have one that is white tinged with pink that is really pretty.Camelias like an acid soil btw. My snowdrops not up yet,so it might depend where you are.
I'm so sorry about your baby.

Will do. Didn't make it today as it was soooo cold and I couldn't be bothered to scrape the ice off the car As I say, I'll print off this thread and take it with me tomorrow, so if anyone sees a confused looking woman clutching some A4 paper and muttering about good fortunes in your local garden centre then please help me out!

Unless it's a very big garden centre, they may not have all the things that are mentioned here, but they should be able to advise you - they'll know better than strangers on the internet what will thrive in local conditions - and (if necessary) orders things for you.