Mumsnet Talk

I have a 17 yr old foster d. She's been here 7 months and is great with my own kids who are 9 and 5. Up until now if I've been going out in the evening to meetings etc where dh has been at work or had to come with me I have got a minder, usually my mum, for the kids. I was telling my dh last night that I would have to ask his mum to come over one night this week as I have to go out and my mum is away. Fd said that she would mind the kids for us. I have only left her in charge of them once before, the 5 year old was alseep and I had to collect my ds from football. It was only 8.30 and I was there and back in 15 mins. The meeting on Wednesday is on at 8 (I have to be gone at 7.30) and I'll be back around 10 or 10.30. I'm going to give the sw a call to check its ok anyway but was just wondering if anyone had experience of this. We've been fostering a couple of years but she's the oldest "child" we've ever had here, I would never have let the others babysit. Our fca meetings are once a month, they're really the only time I'm out in the eve that I would be asking her to do it. She's quite responsible and I would trust her. My SIL lives across the road and would be happy to help if there was a problem.

what has the childs social worker say about this as you could all agree and the sw may think this is not a good idea.

and what has your support woker advised

I would say very much depends on her background and why she's in foster care. Only you can know what her personality is like, whether she has the maturity to handle problems for example. As to the legality of allowing a foster child to babysit, I cannot answer. But if you think she is able and her SW says yes, I think it would help her feel more like a part of the family, like a big sister to your kids.

Hi, thanks for the replies. Just spoke to my own support worker and she is happy enough with the idea. Her theory is that they're always trying to promote normality within foster families and in a typical family a 17 yr old would often mind younger kids. She's going to run it past fds social worker and make sure its ok with him. She's been a support worker almost 16 yrs now and said she has never been asked that question. I wonder do people just not let the foster children babysit or do they just not tell the sws?

I think a bit of both

Went to a support meeting today and a fellow fc has a 16 and child's sw won't allow foster child to have a key

I think some foster carers just make judgements espically with long term foster children but others just don't want to take the chance

Well done you
you should never feel silly their is no such thing as a stupid question

Unless the question is should foster carers get paid more lol

I know several cases where the foster child babysits the carers children and it has been fine.
Obviously it depends on the individual child and their behaviours and maturity etc and whether they feel confident and safe doing it.
If the SWs all agree and there are guidelines about how often, if they will get pocket money for it, told how to cope with an emergency etc then it should work out ok.