school trips..i don't want mine to go on overnight stays etc.will i be looked down upon?

[cutekids]

Thing is,I've been told so many stories about these outward bound courses etc.that it's really put me off....my neighbours-who are now responsible parents and I think alot of them-have told me things about when they were "outdoor activity tutors" that would make your hair curl.eg:she's told me about the time-and I'm talking approx.3 years ago not 20!-when she was left to supervise 30 kids in a pool whilst getting over a hangover plus not even ever having been trained to save anyone who got into trouble!Also,he's told me about the time when they were in charge of abseiling and,again,being too giggly to really know what they were doing!!!As I said,they are a lovely couple who are now very responsible parents but they've completely put me off letting my kids go on these trips!

[cherrieberry]

managed to get the courage to let my 9 year old daughter to go on a pgl adventure holiday for the weekend with brownies.i fretted all weekend but she had a fab time and came back safe,happy and well.

[jellybeans]

I let mine go on weekend trips since 7 with Brownies. They also go on the school adventure ones. I feel it is a very important and memorable experience for them and it would be unfair of me to prevent them going due to my fears/worries. The trips have to be pretty well planned these days. I would think it was abit mean/odd if a child couldn't go without vey good reason. think they would get teased etc.

[ravenAK]

As a teacher, I've gone on a few PGL things where the activity tutors were 20 year olds whom I'd seen carried to bed 4 hours previously...

I'd be OK about the dc going actually. Accidents are incredibly rare. Usually the activities for school age children don't require much skill on the part of the instructors, beyond checking a v idiot proof harness.

[AbbeyA]

Mine have always gone. Very stringent risk assessments have to be done these days.
They get so much out of the experience, as jellybeans says, they are so important and memorable- don't hold them back because you are worried.
My DS1 has probably been roped to a rock face today-I wouldn't want to watch but he loves it. His life would be safer without these hobbies but I don't think it is a life he would want!

[yogabird]

pull yourself together and don't short change your children. You need to get them ready for leaving you and making their own way in the big wide world surely? They need a chance to exist away from your protective embrace and you will both benefit from time apart. They will grow and learn and experience stuff without you if you let go temporarily and that;s as it should be. You too will remember what it is to be a person not just a mum to them.

Speaking as one who worked for PGL for 5 seasons and drank and played and coached and cared and helped a lot of children to enjoy 'fun and adventure in a framework of safety' it would be a real pity for them if you hampered their developmenmt by keeping them at home.

Of course it's difficult but we have to let go.

[MarsLady]

They'll be fine, your children I mean.

These trips are fantastic for children. They have so much fun.

You won't be looked down on but your children will miss out on some truly amazing times. These are the things that memories are made of. Don't let your fear cause your children to miss out. Mine have loved school journeys and camps so much and I bet yours would too.

[Blondilocks]

I'm afraid you probably will be looked down on.

DD is going on a school trip next week. Several of her friends aren't going because they don't want to be away from their mums, despite the fact that they initially wanted to go so the trip was paid for.

A friend's son was exactly the same a few years ago, but they insisted that he went & he really enjoyed it once he got there & I'm sure most children would be the same.

I wouldn't want my DD to miss out. I think these trips are pretty well managed & that safety is thought of. Also most of them are run by well known managed places. They offer so many opportunities, not to mention some independence.

If you think about the number of road accidents this is more of a worry. Accidents may happen, but it's just as likely to be in the home as outside of it.

Having said that I was nervous about DD going in a light aircraft with ex-OH a few weekends ago (he is a professional pilot mind you) but that was all fine & probably safer than if they'd gone out for a drive.

[christywhisty]

I have more reason than most people to worry about this as my cousin was killed on a Boys Brigade trip when he was 18, BUT both my DC's have been on adventure trips this year. DD 10 went to PGL for a week and DS went to Scotland with the Scouts a few weeks back. What happened to my cousin is very rare.
They both had such a wonderful time it is worth the worry.
They have been going to camp since they were 8 with the cubs as well and love every minute of it, even if they are covered in mud in the pouring rain.

[Peabody]

I don't know about being looked down upon, but I think you will be seen as overprotective.

I can only echo what everyone else on this thread has said - it's tough but you need to let go.

[AbbeyA]

I am so sorry about your cousin, cristywhisty, but I think it is wonderful that you haven't let it hold back your own DCs.
I agree with yogabird's post.
Being a parent is tough, it is about gradually letting go.
My neighbour is very fearful of trying new things because she was an overprotected only child. Her parents wouldn't even let her learn to ride a bike in case she fell off!! She is in her 50's and resentful. She has forced herself to let her DCs take any opportunities that came their way.
Life is about risk and learning to deal with it. Wrapping your DCs in cottonwool because of your fears stunts their development IMO.

[smartiejake]

Agree it's very rare for tragedies to happen and not always due to incompetence.

The field centre our school uses had a terrible tragedy last year when a child died when he was hit by a branch that fell off a tree.

Totally unforseeable.

Both my dds have been on PGL holidays and have really enjoyed them.

[cheesychips]

I worked for PGL and have similar tales to tell. However my experience was 20 years ago and I am sure that things have improved dramatically. I think new legislation came in after a run of accidents 10 years ago ish

[sunnydelight]

DH volunteered to go on DS2s overnight school trip the other week as a parent helper, partly because DS2 (9) doesn't like sleeping away from home and was likely to get very upset at bedtime so we thought it too much to expect the teachers to handle, but also to see how things are run.

He came back raving about how well organised it was, how fantastic the staff at the centre were with the kids, what great activities they had done etc. etc. If the school asks for parent helpers why not go along, hopefully it will put your mind at rest for future trips.

[goldndiamonds]

Oi Cat64 don't you dare say 'pull yourself together' followed saying you worked for PGL for 5 seasons and drank... ' ! That's exactly why parents are so afraid at times about these trips. That and the fear of the coach getting involved in an accident or your child getting lost or hurt or worse. Yes, as loads of you say, you have to let go sometime, but you also don't have to be a lemming! Who cares if you're 'looked down on'! I would say trust your own instincts in each case. Go on the trip with your child if you can. Depends on the age of your child I suppose!

[MollieO]

My ds isn't at the age for overnight trips yet but if he were and I was concerned I'd ask to see the school's risk assessment document that must be compiled before any trip can be undertaken. I'd also ask for the details of the safety record of the company/place they are going to. I would be reluctant to ban my ds from going on these trips as I think the experiences they have can be amazing.

[christywhisty]

Going on the trip with the child, defeats the object of the trip. My friend is a TA at her dc's school and usually goes on the trips, but hasn't gone/won't go when it's her dc's turn as she doesn't think it's fair for them not to have the same experience of independence as the others.

[skramble]

It was Yogabird that said pull yourself togehter, and I don't think she meant that she was drinking on duty.

I think a lot of it is about teaching yourchilren to be independent and capable of coping away from home and dealing with all sorts of situations and people.

I was lucky to have ythe chance as a teenager to go on various actvitiy holidays and the memories I have from those times are amazing and will live with me forever, I even went back to one place as a volunteer, as it was such a great place. Every time I smell woodsmoke I close my eyes and can picture it all .

[skramble]

I am going on my DD brownies camp, but I will ignore her the entire time. I am going as I am a regular parent helper and without us they won't have enough adults and do a lot of the craft activities, nothing to do with DD needing me.

[speckledegg]

HI, I am a mum of 4 , 2 12 & 2 14. I am also a teacher doing a study on what sways and deters parents from sending theit children on school trips. So I was interested to read the messages you've posted. I am about to take 13 7/8 yr olds to Germany for three days and 2 nights , we are flying there. Are they too young to go or does it depend on the individual? Should your worries be pushed on to the child? Interested to know what you think.