Concern over neighbour's emotional abuse of wife

(4 Posts)
EllaRees Sat 05-Jan-13 22:04:10

I've just sat through yet another episode from our neighbours in the flat below ours, and once again am wondering if there is anything I can or should do.

In the 2 years we have lived here we've noticed that he relentlessly yells at her at all times of day and night with hours of one-sided top volume shouting truly horrible words. After several hours of being shouted at (she doesn't shout back) she usually has to just drive away, and if often away overnight as a result. I'm always putting on the radio or TV so that my 2 yr old doesn't hear, and so I don't have to sit through it, and it's become a joke with visitors who usually get a performance at some point. They got married a year ago so I can only presume she's happy with her lot, but it's just so vicious I feel like I should try to help her (I don't hear anything to suggest he hits her). We say hello when we cross paths but I don't feel I could talk to her, and she has family and friends (though they don't hear it all like we do).

I don't want to interfere but is this emotional abuse? I have no experience of anything like this so don't know if there is anything that can be done, especially as we have to live above them for the foreseeable future. Should I leave it alone, and if not what can I do?

Numberlock Sun 06-Jan-13 14:15:48

Could you invite her round for a coffee and gently raise the subject then? Let her know you're aware of what's going on and is there anything you can do to help. Obviously if she dismisses it or denies it, there's not much you can do but I would have to try in case something awful happened.

Perhaps the WomensAid website or helpline would have some good advice for you.

As she's often away overnight, hopefully this means she has supportive friends and/or family she can turn to.

Sadly though until she's ready to leave or throw him out there's not a lot that can be done.

OhSheesh Sun 13-Jan-13 19:14:33

Yes, this is abuse. You might want to talk to the police. They should really be made aware of what is going on. Hopefully, they can visit your neighbours and should do so without divulging that you were the one who made the complaint. You might want to keep a diary of what and when you hear.

Apart from the distress for this lady, he is disturbing your peace and there is no reason that you and your family should be subjected to this behaviour in your home.

delboysfileofax Fri 18-Jan-13 21:15:00

Please please call the police on the 101 number. You can do so anonymously- they will at least get it recorded onto the system so the DAIU will be aware and risk assessments can be carried out

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