And so the impact of my disability and absences begins as I expected it would...

(8 Posts)
Crinkle77 Fri 21-Dec-12 15:51:09

It's just a seat. Someone has got to sit there and if it is not you it will be someone else. If they don't offer you a coffee then that is down to your colleagues not being very nice, rather than the chair you sit at

PavlovtheCat Wed 19-Dec-12 18:55:36

I have decided to just suck it up. It's just funny how the full time 'popular' ones, the ones that get on well/are friends etc all end up sitting in good seats that enable the right amount of networking and space, rarely end up in the unpopular spaces. But I will try not to take it personally.

it does mean that as no-one will make a coffee for me when they do a round I won't share my friday donuts grin

I am just feeling a bit hard done by as there is, in essence, going to be 'the team' and then me. out on a limb separate from everyone else. And yes, I can get up and talk to them, but it will be a stilted, contrived getting up to start a conversation rather than the natural get involved in a topic, or as I usually/used to do, pick the experience and brains from my colleagues as I needed, sound my ideas and vice versa.

RubyrooUK Wed 19-Dec-12 17:45:47

Sorry to hear you are having back problems Pavlov.

But at my work we regularly move desks about three or four times a year. We have no say in where we end up.

And as a manager, sometimes people do just have to sit in the unpopular seat. I am actually sitting there myself at the moment.

At my work for example, the woman who works two days a week would not be isolated as it would feel like she wasn't there much so needed to be at the centre of the team.

All I mean is that seat and desk moves where I work inevitably piss people off, but they are rarely because of absences etc. They are done purely on the needs of the team or business with no real concern about what people think of where they sit or who they sit next to.

So personally I'd try not to think too much of it. But I appreciate that may be hard if you're already feeling a bit low about absences. Hope your back improves.

ViperInTheManger Wed 19-Dec-12 17:33:44

Hi Pavlov, sorry to hear the back is still bad.

I have no advice really but I have noticed, as I work part-time, I often encounter stuations where I don't feel as included as I'd like to be in our team. I think, unfortunately, in work situations out of sight really is out of mind. Try not to take it personally.

amillionyears Wed 19-Dec-12 17:20:01

hmm. Bit tricky.
Is there no way you can sit on the edge of someone else's desk? Thats probably a silly thing to say actually.
Could you ask to be moved to a different team?

And if someone is away, [which I would have thought happens quite often through anothers sickness, or leave], could you sit in their place?

trinity0097 Wed 19-Dec-12 17:09:14

Surely you can I've around though and not be stuck to your desk, you can go over to the others and have a chat/work together on things. Look at the positives, when you want to concentrate on your work you wil be able to without lots of chatter around you, but you can choose when you want to get involved, e.g. Moving over there to have your lunch in a group etc...

PavlovtheCat Wed 19-Dec-12 15:12:46

I don't really want advice, I guess, not sure what I wanted, just a winge really.

PavlovtheCat Wed 19-Dec-12 15:12:18

Due to long term back problem I have had a large amount of time off since June 2012. I have, in fact been there less than I have been off sick. The team was newly formed in Feb/March. It is in an open plan office, hard to describe, but there is one seat that is vacant due to, well no-one wants to sit there, it is on the edge by the door, with one person opposite and one person next to it. There is a high sided filing cabinet on the side with person next to it, so you can't see or talk to that person. When we moved to our team (12 people) we were asked to choose preferances, I said, I don't care where I sit, as long as it is not there! As did everyone else. So, the christmas tree lives there at the moment!

Now, my boss has been supportive of my absences, helped me get back to work, sorted out desk assessments, given me time to leave early to get meds when in pain, agreed reduced hours to manage pain levels, and generally been a good egg.

Of course, my relationship with my fellow team members is not as strong as others in the team, because of absences, fair enough. Where I sit currently is a little isolated, but I have some collegues relatively near me I can talk to. But, not to the whole team, who all sit quite close together and talk all together about both work and non-work related stuff, it is a very positive team over on that side. The one person I sit next to is a nice bloke but he works alone, perfers not to be spoken to, fair enough his choice, he has chosen to have high sided wall dividers around him. I quite like chatting with my colleagues, bouncing ideas of work, getting advice, generally networking so I have felt a little sidelined, but for no reason just how it worked out seating wise (no-one opposite me as empty seat).

So, yesterday, I was told seats are going to be changed, and colleagues will be moved to sit in a row of three seats opposite me my colleague and into the 'seat no-one wants', that me my colleague and the one next to him will all stay the same. Great I thought, I will have a little company to talk to, maybe be part of the team once again.

My back went badly again yesterday, so, I am not in today. My boss called me, she was in the office with colleagues and asked me if I was ok to move to that seat, she was nervous saying it as she knew I would like it. I told her 'not really, it's very isolating' and she said 'oh but x will sit next to you (the quiet guy seperated by a high filing cabinet and a high dividing wall) and opposite will be x. But x works in that office one day a week most, so for most of my week, that desk will be empty. And I will be further away from my other colleagues than I am now! She skirted over my protests and I felt compelled to agree. And all my things will be moved for me this week as I am not in.

I know why, because all the team are going, we don't want to go there, they are all chatting about it now, and I am the one who cannot be involved. There is a new member of the team, who gets on great with everyone (from old team close to us so known to everyone), she confident, assertive, and only works 2 days, so would not be hindered at all sitting there.

I just feel so isolated at this being arranged without me even though this was being planned in the last two days when I was there, and that it is just going to end up with me never re-establishing a working relationship with me team.

Sorry for the moan. I sent an email outlining my concerns, but feel, well someone has to sit there, but instead of a well established member of the team, or this guy who does not want to talk to people anyway, i have been picked as I cannot argue against it like the others can.

I just don't feel like I am part of a team. And this is not the first time I have felt this way.

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