Mumsnet Talk

Opinions please...
Full time stressful job - older mum with twins - full time nursery - DH also working - life is one big conveyer belt. My job is not 9-5 so I work evenings and weekends too. Boss started to nit pick so I am currently off with stress. Can't envisage going back but I had a long ML and it wasn't a bed of roses although kids are toddlers now not babies so its easier.Flexi work is a no no. Always loved the job and been career minded. Little bit concerned about stepping off the treadmill and into the realms of motherhood. Anyone swapped a career for a SAHM?

Could you split the difference and find a new, less stressful job?

If money is not a concern I would just go with where your heart is. I had a very successful career for 15 yrs before DD and gave it up in an instant. It no longer motivated me at all. I've channelled that energy into the family, home and new hobbies. I miss having a lot of disposable income but I really made up my mind that I did not want others to look after DD. Career wise I felt I'd been there done that, so it was a very simple decision for me.

finding a new job may be an option in the future but being off with stress and at a crossroads i would say now is not the time

its difficult for me to know if I've been there and done that as I still had lots to give but it was just so difficult juggling everything, in a way i feel a failure at work for not being able to do it and dont want to slouch off into the night...or maybe i do... its a difficult one

Work
I gave up to be a SAHM 18 years ago. Spent the last 4 years doing a degree
Can't get a job...well not one that i am trained for. I haven't got to the point where I just apply for anything yet. I don't want my degree to count for nothing after all that studying!
Would never recommend my DD's give up work completely whilst raising their children.

Out of the two, and given the way you feel, I would opt for SAHM. You say you are an older mum and career minded, so you'll presumably have experience to fall back on at a later date. Could you take a break to review your options, and consider part-time work in a less stressful environment later on? I know plenty of women who 'used to be such and such', and now happily work in lower level positions part-time in order to have a work/life balance now they have young children. I also know plenty of women who have picked up their careers later on, or successfully gone into something different.

Generally I wouldn't advise giving up work, I have done and its bloody hard getting back again.

Your situation is a little different, if you are off sick with stress it clearly isn't working for you right now and you have said that
things aren't going to change for the better in your current job. I think I would leave your current job but continue to keep up your cpd and have a plan on getting back into the workplace even if it's not for a few years.

so its 2 all - any others?

It's such a difficult decision, isn't it? I can't make my mind up myself. Why don't men have that dilemma? (sightly off topic).