Hope someone can help - I need to have a brain dump about whats happening.
I've posted here about DM who had a stroke on 25th May. Affected her left side. Her arm is better (although still weak). The leg is not. We had a care review meeting on Monday with the hospital and Social Care to discuss the options regarding her care.
DF (88) and DM (83) want to be together at home, so that is the route thats been agreed. Social Care have said that she needs x2 carers 4 times a day to do personal care (including pad changes) and transfers. DF is going to be doing cooking (has been told about meals on wheels option) and caring for mum on an ongoing basis. DF will be meeting the full cost as they don't qualify for funding under means testing.
We've suggested a gardener too and she will need a sitter if DF has to go out for docs appts, dentist etc.
Given the option of either arranging the care ourselves or letting Social Care do it, we opted for the latter as we felt overwhelmed trying to sort it all out in a relatively short timeframe. I'm really worried either way. I'm worried dad won't be able to cope. He had a bad chest infection a couple of weeks back and my DSis and I basically had him under "house arrest" so he would get better (either that or be admitted to another hospital). DM also has Alzheimers which seems to have got worse since she's been in hospital. She is also very despressed and now on ADs.
We've got the bed being delivered on Tuesday and are awaiting other resources such as a hoist and commode. We've tried to re-arrange the furniture within their house, but they have too much stuff. For example DF has said put the dining table in the lounge (where!). DSis and I both think he is in denial about everything and thinks everything will be the same as it was before the stroke when she comes out. I'm also trying to take time off to be there when equipment is delivered so he hasn't got to worry and is able to then go to the hospital to see DM.
We've been trying to "tidy up" at their place but he is very much a hoarder and a couple of times he has got quite agitated when he's discovered things have been moved. Since then, we've backed off.
With the introduction of carers, we've got DF to agree to get a new cooker (as the existing one doesn't work properly) and a new washing machine (as they have been using a twin tub - very resistant to new technology). Of course there are plumbing issues which we are having to sort out for him (whilst working full time and looking after the kids etc).
I been visiting DM most days. Last night DF admitted that he was really worried about how things will work when she comes home. What happens if she needs to move/use the commode between care visits? DF can't move her on his own and certainly can't use the hoist.
This is all so new, we feel like we're overwhelmed and I'm so worried for both of them.
Sorry for the long post. Please could someone reassure me that it's going to be OK.
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Care package - help!
12 replies
drzeus · 26/06/2014 07:30
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