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Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Divorce/separation

did you keep your married surname after divorce?!

20 replies

sailingmummy · 14/04/2013 22:41

Hi,

My divorce is going through at the moment, and am now trying to decide whether to keep my married name, for the sake of my children so that I match their surname, or whether to revert back to my maiden name.

What did / would you all do?!!

OP posts:

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purplewithred · 14/04/2013 22:46

Reverted after I heard someone call 'mrs xdh' in a crowded waiting room and didn't recognise they meant me.

Deed poll rather than wait for divorce paperwork. A bit of a pain to do and some things are impossible to switch (sky subscription for example) but I'm quite used to it now.

purplewithred · 14/04/2013 22:46

But Dcs were 18 and 21 by then.

notapizzaeater · 14/04/2013 22:47

Kept my name - sister changed hers back and gave her kids double barrelled surnames

MrsPennyapple · 14/04/2013 22:52

I kept my married name. I just liked it better than my maiden name.

foolonthehill · 14/04/2013 22:54

keeping it...but not him. Too many DCs and too much confusion to change...might revisit this in a few years when the dust has settled.

cuckooplusone · 18/04/2013 19:25

I have kept it to match dd. if I were to remarry, wonder about how easy to travel if passports don't match?

cinnamonsugar · 19/04/2013 08:58

You don't need divorce paperwork to change your name. I changed my driver's license, bank accounts and passport without actually being divorced. You definitely do not need to do a deed poll to use your own given name.

emmab16 · 22/04/2013 15:16

I think I will keep my married name for now - easier as children are still little

shockers · 22/04/2013 15:20

I kept mine to make it easier for DS1. I did change it when I remarried 8 years later though.

skyebluesapphire · 27/04/2013 18:50

My DD is 5yo and I was going to keep the name for her sake but then I changed my mind because I don't want anything to do with XH, I only took his name on marriage so I want rid of it on divorce. If I ever remarry I will have a different name to her anyway.

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger · 01/05/2013 12:48

have kept mine, if I get married again I will probably double barrell it as a) I want to keep the same name as my DD and b) it would be weird to be called my exh's name and not have any reference to my current h's name

smoothieooo · 01/05/2013 12:52

I will be keeping my married name. Maiden name was 'Smith' and I'd rather have my slightly unusual current surname. One of the main reasons I got married in the first place was so that the DC and I could all have the same surname.

Beckett3 · 01/05/2013 13:02

Changed it back within a couple of weeks of separation, I never liked my married name anyway and my maiden name is lovely and much more unique. My children have double barrelled names so it doesn't much matter on that front.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 05/05/2013 22:00

I want to keep my married name to be the same as DD but also because I have no affinity to my maiden name. But in terms of title if I'm divorced then I'm not a Mrs so am I a Miss again?

Chubfuddler · 05/05/2013 22:05

Technically you are still a mrs when you divorce. This is all really old fashioned but a married woman is entitled to call herself mrs his name so say your husband is bob jones you are mrs bob jones. When you divorce you can keep the surname but aren't mrs bob jones anymore. You're mrs your first name jones.

I haven't explained that very well. Debretts probably has a website these days, they would know.

I will probably keep mine as I qualified as a solicitor his his surname and I'd rather have the same surname as the children.

Chubfuddler · 05/05/2013 22:19

See good old debretts they know everything

www.debretts.com/etiquette/rites-of-passage/divorce-/forms-of-address-.aspx

optionalExtras · 05/05/2013 22:47

I'm not divorced yet but as I've used my maiden name professionally for some years I am tending to use it more these days.

In any case, where I live (not UK) a married name is only really the name you can choose to be known by, not your official name, which remains the name you were given at birth. And on divorce, women lose the right to use their married name.

drfayray · 05/05/2013 22:53

Just got my divorce on the 21st. I was married for 24 years and used that name.
I will not revert because of the DC. Also I am addressed as Dr so the Mrs bit does not affect me

HollyBollyBooBoo · 06/05/2013 06:33

Interesting, thanks Chubfuddler. Wonder if keeping Mrs will ever cause confusion in a situation, can't think of a specific one though!

friendlyanimal · 24/07/2013 15:30

I returned to my maiden name. I like the name and I am proud of my father who had been fairly well known in his area of work. Also DH very quickly remarried after our divorce so I didn't want to be "the old Mrs X' (she is 10 yrs younger, so I would be "the old"!). I used a very reasonably priced on-line deed poll service. It happened to coincide with a job change, so that worked well. My only dilemma was Mrs, Miss or Ms. I dont like Ms, but Miss makes me feel like a kid, and Mrs sounds like my Mum! DDs obviousl kept family name

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