Some emotional abuse, can I refuse unsupervised access?

(5 Posts)
carolst Sat 09-Feb-13 23:50:09

Firstly, gutted to be posting this section, had used relationship section before but now starting to realise this is real.
My DH was depressed about money/broken house/no time/parents rejection and so on, anyway, nearly committed suicide, then flipped and started an obsessive text thing with OW. He's left for 3 weeks now.
After his attempted suicide he started getting more angry at kids, calling them disgusting, he put mustard in one's mouth... it was awful... proper shut us all out of kitchen, and did it. Horrific. He'd ignore them, or go completely mental at them. This wasn't all the time, and pre suicide thing was fab Dad, after the texting started he got worse, again at times. One minute he's up, the next he's down.

M point is I have given him loads of access, but it has always been at home, supervised by me. I genuinely feel this is needed.

I annoyed the OW Sunday night, and have been told by her DH (that she is seperating from) that she now has it in for me, and is also going after my DH. Since this my DH's behaviour has changed, he was here every second he could be, and offering to pay for everything, suddenly not here as much, acting difficult and even mentioned court today as not happy with supervied access. Before annoying OW he wanted us all to go out together to zoo etc, was happy here supervised but all changed. I know she is in his head telling him what to do.

Problem is now if he takes me to court can I get supervised access with no overnight visits. I cannot trust him due to his recent emotional abuse. The mustard thing really was awful. This is genuinely what I feel is best for the kids, as I cannot trust him alone entirely, I know he wouldn't physically hurt them but may not be able to handle them without the anger outbursts. He never saw anyone about his depression, or suicide attempt or for punching his own head repeatidly or head butting walls. I feel he needs to be assessed but can lie so well.... or has leart to in last 5 months.

Thanks,

ShhHesAsleep Sun 10-Feb-13 18:46:54

Hi, you may get more traffic and support in the relationships forum area.

I think womens aid, CAB and an initial free chat with a few family solicitors may be useful.

I hope you get some helpful advice.

carolst Sun 10-Feb-13 20:22:03

Many thanks for your suggestions and help

ShhHesAsleep Sun 10-Feb-13 20:29:12

Before speaking to any organisation, it may be helpful to write the important facts and info down . It'll be quicker for the person to read a note than for you to say the same things out loud and things are less likely to be missed. Hopefully that'd help get the most of any time slot you get.

Fwiw,I think you're doing the right thing. it sounds like supervised access is in everyone's best interest.

addictedtolatte Sun 10-Feb-13 20:39:25

So sorry your going through this. You've a long road ahead unfortunately. Keep a detailed diary and get legal advice. I have been fighting my case 2 years now for similar reasonS. I've managed so far to keep my DC safe and I just take each day as it comes.

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