Obsessive love addiction

[Mother2many]

I think it's time I admitted that I have a problem. I am SOO sick of my mind wandering back to my STBXH... It has been 6 yrs!! I am soo sick of remembering all the good times and going over the bad times in my head. It does no good. I am SOO sick of dreaming of my STBXH of the way things were, or possible getting back together dreams.

I am tired of conversation which eventually lead back to... "when STBXH and I were together..."

I admitted to my DS22 and his g/f about this... I have even talked to my dad about it... (he just listens) Heck... I'll even suggest to my dad to contact my STBXH for advice (mechanic) or whatever!! (instead of calling my current DP) etc.

I am emotionally tired of everything involving my STBXH.

I hate seeing him on those every other weekend exchanges and avoid them if I can, as it is incredibly painful for me.

Seriously...

I don't treat my DP anything like I treated my x. He has been wonderful. A few years ago, I wanted to try and go back...and my DP understood. Of course I was shot down and he went back to his first wife instead.

I told DP I want to get my divorce finalized, and maybe...just maybe... it will help letting go. He's willing to do what it takes for me to be happy.

I need to stop my mind from wandering..... hope I'm not the only one that has/had this issues...as it is soo frustrating....and painful.

[boredandrestless]

I hope you don't mind me suggesting this OP, but have you had any counselling for your break up with him? Separation can be a huge loss emotionally, even if the relationship wasn't that good!

Your current DP sounds very understanding, maybe a little too understanding if I have read your OP correctly!!

[Mother2many]

bored: Yes, I have had counselling, as after he left I was diagnosed with bi-polar. I thought it was just baby blues as my DD was only 6 wks old at the time... (DS was only 1 yr) However, I'd have to admit, I won't give up my meds now for anything! Which also ends up replaying in my mind, "if only I was diagnosed sooner, I could of saved my marriage!"

Yes my DP is super understanding...and I think he knows that I still love my x. Often I do feel guilty for not giving him the love he deserves.

I just figured after all this time my mind would stop dragging me through painful memories.

Yes, should look into more help...

[Twiggy71]

Hi Mothertomany, I know exactly how you feel I have been separated now for nearly 3 1/2 years and i still have the problem that I can't seem to let my ex go. I went to my first counselling session today (boy is that painful) for that exact reason I want to be able to let go to move forward with my life I know I have wasted enough time over him..
I don't think it would be fair to have a new partner now with how i am feeling.
You must of moved on now to a certain degree if you have another p, why are you putting your ex on a pedestal?? It's time to get on with yours and your p lives now and move forward instead of always looking back. Maybe you should try counselling again to see if it helps. I wish you luck...

[Mother2many]

I guess my DP is like my best friend. I remet him a year after my spouse left, and he was a great person to talk to and lean on...still is....

I have NO idea why I can't stop thinking about my X...and I will return to counselling...

I am trying to move on... I avoid my X when I possibly can...but I can't stop my dreams...and mind wandering! at myself...

[Mother2many]

Thanks HereIGo... no matter what somethings gotta stop!