Oh god I feel so bad about this....:(

[Codandchops]

Long story short is that exH and I separated nearly 5 years ago over his addiction to telephone chat lines. He was unable to stop, the bills were horrendous and I had a massive breakdown which led me to go back to my home town 190 miles away from DH. I wanted him to come back too so that we could see a counsellor together and deal with the issues in our marriage. For this I envisaged we would live apart initially but exH would not hear of it so stayed 190 miles away.
However, I know he still loves me (or at least thinks he does) because he has said as much.
I stil feel huge guilt for moving so far away with our DS and have never withheld contact.
Time has passed now, I am well recovered from my breakdown. The other issue at the time was that our DS was just starting to show signs that he wasn't quite like other children. I didn't feel I could lean on my husband for support and just needed my Mum.
Our son has since been diagnosed with ASD and ADHD, he is fine with support and has a lot of contact with his Dad.
My exH works all over the country and is regularly in my area. To kill two birds with one stone I have always allowed him to stay with us and spend time with DS. DS absolutely LOVES this.
I have had one very short relationship since we split and so has he. Beyond that though neither of us have moved on. We still get on extremely well and nobody has ever made me laugh like him.
The other BIG issue is sex, I am virtually asexual as I have little/no desire to have sex ever. With exH I went through the motions because I loved him and I wanted to be a Mum. With the short relationship I had it was the same. I don't care about sex, don't want it and fon't think I ever will. My GP says I just have a low sex drive and that psycho-sexual counselling has a poor success rate. I also think it's partly to do with a history of childhood sexual abuse and am also more than convinced that I have autistIc traits with huge issues around touch - something my ex was never that good at respecting.
So this week I have acute bronchitis and feel dreadfully exhausted, breathless and unwell. My Mum &Dad who would usually help have been unwell too do there is only me. I sent exH a text earlier to say that if he did not have any work in the early part of the week could he come here and just help me out. I've never done this before and would not have asked if I did not feel so ill. Text came back to say he has cancelled work booked for Tuesday and will be here tomorrow evening. I feel so bad about asking him to do this and to know that he has dropped work to support me and our DS. It's just started me thinking about things and to wonder if maybe there might be another chance for us.
Or am I just being too feverish?

[ChippingInLovesEasterEggs]

Feverish.

Do not do anything right now.

It is not a major imposition for the childs father to look after him for once in 5 years when you are ill.

He treat you very badly when you were together - why would you seek more of that?