Split custody with offshore worker ex

(2 Posts)
topcat1971 Thu 27-Oct-11 19:43:04

Hi all
Just in the process of splitting and we're disagreeing over custody of our 2yr old. Ex works offshore for 3 wks at a time and then home for 3wks (been doing this for years now). He wants custody when he's home which would mean I won't see my LO for 3wks at a time. I understand how important it is for both my ex and LO to have a good relationship, but I believe that when parents split LO needs a primary carer who takes care of them day to day. I've suggested maybe 4 days on/off whilst he's home which would mean he has custody for an average of 2 days a week overall, about the same as most separated dads. Maybe I'm being selfish but I've hardly spent any time away from my LO and I can't imagine not seeing her for half the year, I take care of everything when ex is away and nearly everythink when he's back. I've asked how he'll manage having LO for 3 solid wks at a time when he likes playing golf a few times a week, going out with his mates etc, and not drinking more than a couple drinks at a time, but I just get told he'll get babysitters or family to look after LO. He also claims I only want LO for longer to get more maintenance!
I really want us to come to a sensible solution, but I don't know where I stand legally. If I put my foot down and force a court decision would they go with split custody as he works 3 weeks on/off (the worst possible outcome), or would they split the time he is actually back at home?
Sorry for the long post, nothings ever easy to explain!

winterwalks Fri 28-Oct-11 18:30:52

You need good legal advice.
Usually one parent has residency when the other has access.
Courts often stay with the status quo so think long and hard before agreeing to anything - get good legal advice
Could he be going for exactly half so he doesn't need to pay maintenance and getting his family to look after the little one.

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