Situation is DP never seems to want sex. Not only that but he's never affectionate with me either. He's great in other ways, we go out, we do stuff together, we work at things like the house etc together but when it comes to intimacy and affection I feel there is none. We'll sit together on the sofa watching a movie and I'll massage him, stroke him etc etc - all the stuff he seems to like and I get nothing back at all. Maybe a half hearted leg stroke or a quick kiss but only because he feels he has to.
Sex between us is rubbish. He never seems to want it and I have to instigate it all the time or it doesn't happen. I'd say we currently have sex around once a week if I instigate it. There is no affectionate foreplay from him, no stroking or caressing, no kissing (well, apart from a platonic robotic type kiss on the lips) but no affectionate kissing or kissing me anywhere other than my lips. Doesn't even kiss my neck. Oral sex is non-existant. He did it to me once or twice in the very early days but since then it's been all one sided and half the time if I do it to him, he barely responds.
He won't touch me. I try and move his hands onto my breasts in bed (not for sex, just because it feels nice) and he moves them away. When I asked him why he won't do it, he says he's shy and is worried I'll get mad at him. Obvious bullshit when a) it's ME moving his hands there and B) you don't tend to get shy touching someone you've been in a long term relationship with!!
Finally, he always says he's too tired for sex. Yet he purposely comes to bed late (choosing instead to play on battlefield downstairs or watch porn and delete the history ) or if he does come to bed whilst I'm still awake he brings the Ipad up and plays on CandyCrush or messes on the internet. Last night he was doing that for 20 minutes or so after coming to bed. Meanwhile I'm cuddled up to him and giving him the odd kiss etc and finally he turns it off, turns to me, kisses me and says he's now going to sleep as he's very tired - so why sit there playing on the ipad then??? most bizarre thing about it is that he had an erection so what IS going on ???
Be brutally honest, I'm difficult to offend and I need the truth. I've tried asking him, he says there is no problem, he's just tired.
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16 replies
SnottyMorag · 11/09/2013 12:31
OP posts:
Darkesteyes ·
13/09/2013 21:41
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