Mumsnet Talk

ok. dh been watching porn. Absolutely fine with me, it's only cheesy stuff he's been looking at. But, since we have 3dc and things have sort of managed to sort of slide a bit, I thought boot dc out to granmas and treat dh to me having a 'full wax'

Now, dads, is this a good idea? What would make your day? Dh would be happy with anything really, he makes no demands so I want to try to rock his world, in the way that a small chubby wife can

Does my plan sound good or as a bloke do you think there are better things I could plan?

Thank you men for any posts!

Hi Groak!

First of all, I want to make sure I understand what you are asking. You found out that dh has been watching porn, which I guess is something you didn't know. Because of that you feel the need to do something special to get his attention back. Is that right?

If it is, my feeling is that you need to take the bull by the horns and talk to him. I have this issue with my DW sometimes - we have 3 DC as well and sometimes we seem to drift off into 'parent mode' and suddenly I'm thinking, 'hang on, wasn't Maggie Thatcher in power last time we had sex?' What I find helps get things back on track is saying 'hey, we need some us time' and fixing a romantic time for the two of us - most importantly to talk. It's the emotional connection that we need to repair, to remind us why why fancy the pants of each other. Then the physical one follows naturally.

Hope this helps.

Do it, you can't go wrong, though the odds on it stopping him watching porn are more or less nil. Don't pull pornstar faces, that's a bit weird, but apart from that, we're simple creatures when all the blood has been drained from our heads to our pants, so a bit of enthusiasm can go a long way!

full wax?

If he is 20ish he'll probably like it, if older he might not.

IMO it looks little-girl-ish which i don't like.

You might like to ask sometime.

I prefer a neatly trimmed furry triangle, but smooth underneath and round the back

TMI?

Thanks everyone, not too much info at all. Tbh 'that side' of things has been a bit quiet of late so I feel like I'm guessing just what he will or won't like.. I've had a tidy up before and that seemed to get the right response so thought one step further would hit the right notes... I'm timing this for a holiday so hoping we get quelity time that will lead to fun time and get all areas covered so we're connecting head and heart..

But thanks for all the replies, can't believe I'm having frank discussions with strangers about this but you have all helped.

JohnnyRod said, "....we're simple creatures when all the blood has been drained from our heads to our pants...."

Really? Is this what we are reduced to? Some sort of "simple creature" ruled only by our privates?

Bullshit. That's just more stereotypical man-bashing crap.

There's more than enough blood to run both the brain and the private parts. The issue is whether or not a man has control of his brain at all times. Giving into some rubbish about only one part or the other working exacerbates our dispose-ability, de-humanizes us, and makes it very plain to anyone else reading it that you consider men easily manipulated by something as vulgar as a piece of ass.

I think anything that you do that is clearly a deliberate attempt on your part to generate or reinvigorate you both on that front will find a positive response :-)

imho the very knowledge that my partner was thinking about this would be a positive thing. Personally, I like your idea, and just in case your man doesn't share my view, how about going not quite the whole hog, then surprising him with it and discussing what he thinks about your original suggestion?

I wish you and your lucky partner all the best with it!

I am a woman but one idea would be to write on some cards, a few fantasies / ideas that you would enjoy trying. Then he could choose which one he would like to try. This way if there's something that doesn't appeal, you haven't freaked him out / got it 'wrong'. I agree men don't all like the fully shaved look and I feel sad that you maybe feel you have to compete with the porn films and try to make yourself look more 'porny'

Sorting out your sex life is not just your responsibility, you know - it's lovely that you want to make things better between you, but your OP reads a little bit like "he is watching porn so I've obviously not been good enough lately, help me be more like what he wants in bed." Hopefully what he wants is a nice time with his wife that you both enjoy.

"I am a woman but one idea would be to write on some cards, a few fantasies / ideas that you would enjoy trying."
No disrespect, but you don't know blokes.

Look it's easy - blokes are lazy sods who are expected to perform on 99% of occasions. The other 1% are the ones we love you for. And make it a surprise, enjoy it, don't act like it's a chore.
Simples!

whats the old joke ' i always wondered what you would look like with a beard...'

Mike may has/have hit the nail on the head, us blokes are expected to do all the chasing and do all the work (granted because its usually us who wants it first!)
But that 1% of the time when your wife gives you 'that look' and lets you know that she wanted sex before you did?!
AND she made special effort for the occasion?! (with the wax and sending the kids away)
.....I'd be grinning for days