Mumsnet Talk

All minor light entertainers die in poverty
All plasticine, whatever its colour, eventually becomes brown with little streaks of colour.
Parents who work insane hours to afford to send their kids to expensive schools and nannies secretly know that it would be better to spend less money on the education and more time with their kids, but don't want to admit it.
All kids' clothes look like second-hand clothes after a couple of weeks of wear.
Parents all secretly hate primary schools for closing the gates at 8.55am and humiliating them when they arrive late.
Grammar schools are a state-subsidised private school for the middle-classes.
Every generation will have a bottle-blonde female pop singer at whom the press will feign mock "outrage" and a boy band who are mediocre singers but look nice and are successful for that reason alone.
Denmark does better than the UK at everything even though they are a tiny country with a fraction of the population.
Being a cynical b@stard is sometimes the correct option.

disagree with the point about grammar schools, but anyway....

Everyone likes the smell of their own farts.
No matter how old you are, you still have a nagging feeling that you will be called up to represent your country at you favourite sport.
It's mad to be a parent and send your child to nursery seeing as the staff were all the thick kids at school.
There is an item that belongs to your child that sums up why you love them - with my eldest son it is his fork - don't know why but it always sparks an endorphine rush when I'm washing up. The youngest is only eight months, so it is his smile.
It is one of life's great pleasures to stick your hand out of the window of a car and test out theories of aerodynamics.
The electric screwdriver is the greatest invention ever.
You don't look like what you think you look like.
Standing near a steam train makes you admire the engineering.
The Simpsons is the greatest documentary of modern life ever made.
It's really rather nice to be alive.
People who say, 'but you don't understand' and then launch into long and complicated explanations - usually don't have a clue what they are talking about.
Gynaecology is the worst job in the world.
And on a related topic, as a man, for the most part you are unaware that you have a penis.
The interface between the 6,7, and 8 times table is the hardest thing you learn in school.

I'm sure there are others...

interesting.

go on Pan - share...

can't cornsilk. just in an enigmatic mood. {you didn't notice?}

ha ha - yes I did - very enigmatic

I do try. night.

I'm just going with "it's really rather nice to be alive". Best philosophy I've heard in a long time.

a few more to the stack...

A just breast-fed 2-week old baby wrapped in clean cotton is the best smell in the world.
We kind of like it when other people fail as it takes some of the pressure off.
People with a deep-seated and unshakeable religious belief have usually got something rattling about in their cupboards from their younger life.
People who profess "I can change your life" are all snake-oil salesmen.

Everyone picks their nose
Everyone gives to receive
Everyone hates the sound of their own voice on tape/video
We'd all jack work in if we could

All of the boys who couldn't find their arse with both hands at school now advertise as plumbers and electricians in yellow pages.
The national lottery is a tax on poor maths and blind optimism.
We are all sh!t scared that someone will realise that any fool with a spare day and a half and the right manuals will be able to do our job.

People walk their dogs early in the morning or late at night so nobody sees them not picking up the sh:t...
The National Trust is a faithful and functioning example of a communist organisation untarnished by despotism.
Desk work is the single biggest cause of damage to Westerners' health.

Oooh say some more stuff - this thread's a great read!

Parents who have spotlessly tidy houses have neurotic children and a poor quality love life (sorry, but it's true).
Your children will do what you do, not what you say.
Shyness never leaves you - you just learn to cover it up better as you get older.
People who appear to be brimming with confidence all the time are usually keeping the lid on some deep-seated anxiety.
Middle class children cannot accept that any of their kids are below-average intelligence and always scratch around for some kind of medical diagnosis to blame it on.
A leisurely day with a country stroll and an unhurried picnic beats the bejaysus out of a trip to Alton Towers.

I like the bit about Denmark. I still hold out that I fit kitchen cabinet doors more carefully than DP though. Despite his doing everything ELSE better.

If you have pre-school children and a job, something will suffer: work, parenting, relationship with DP, housework or your health. Make a concious decision to live in a tip for a few years and spend hoovering time doing the things that matter.

or get a cleaner.

Life gets lovely again when your kids grow up and bog off,
you have lots more money and all your time is your own - apart from when you get a phonecall from Alton Towers at 5pm on a Sunday because your child's car has overheated because of a split pipe and you have to drive 25 miles with various tools and bottles of water and a husband who is good at fixing things.

Can you come back on here and repost that every month or so Mal

I love Dadsnet

A cheeky smile from a naughty toddler makes staying focused on communicating what's naughty the hardest thing in the world

Kid's films are often much better than more grown up films

All the things that were interesting when we were kids that we grew out of (dinosaurs, etc) turn out to still be really interesting

And some more controversial ones:

Children's characteristics might be more about genetics and nature than nurture and teaching, but it's hard to tell because we all show / teach our children to be like us anyway

Looking after childern rather than working certainly isn't the "easy" option, but it might not be quite as difficult as some people like to make out, might turn out to be similar in terms of difficulty levels

We are all scared stiff of being found out.
Everyone else's house is nicer than ours
Kicking a football is one of life's greatest pleasures
A good book is one of life's greatest pleasures
The best social space is the team changing room
Grandchildren are wonderful
My adult nephews and nieces haven't got a clue
Boys really are different to girls

Ooh, I like this thread. The bit about not actually being aware of owning a penis the majority of the time seems strangely profound.

It's only a few at the top who are really privileged.
The rest of just muddle along.

<<no matter where I look I can't find my male privilege>>

1. The people who get paid the most actually do the least real work (we can all sit in meetings making "strategic decisions" and then hammering other people to make them work).
2. Working for the majority of our lives to enable us to really enjoy much less of them is a very strange system we've invented for ourselves.
3. Asking the bloke selling flowers by the tube how to get somewhere is still much quicker and more reliable than using an iPhone.
4. Watching snooker is ace.
5. Smoking actually is quite cool, as is swearing.