Told needed egg donor, just done pos test, going slowly mad....

[peanuthead]

....

Title says it all really - am in bits. Had IVF in April and got no eggs at all and we're on the list for a donor as we were told there's no point in trying again with my eggs.

I'm about 4 days late and have had brown spotting (very light) and period pain for over a week (not had period pain for a long while) and did a test at lunchtime.

I'm not excited, I know my eggs must be really poor quality and we're unlikely to get as far as even having a heartbeat at week 7 but just can't face the next few weeks when it'll probably disappear into a biochemical pregnancy.

Don't know what I/m asking really - just for some handholding really as it's going to be a rollercoaster waitng for the bleeding to begin.

The period pain is worrrying me alot too.

Aaaaarghghghghg....

[Divvy]

Miracles really do happen though mn can hold your hand for the next few weeks xx

[CMOTdibbler]

Congratulations ! I know it's really hard to feel any excitement (3 mcs myself), but this is something to mark

Period pain is very normal in the early stages.

Call your fertility clinic and ask to get in for an early scan, and a consultation to discuss a plan of action. I found having some sort of plan in place was the only way to get from week to week -in my 4th pg I got scanned every week to start with

[Wanderingsheep]

[peanuthead]

My fertility clinic is in Turkey!

Had a biochemical after an IUI a few years ago before conceiving DD (also via IUI).

Even if it doesn't stick - not sure how it can really, I'm kind of assuming it'll be a blighted ovum or some other delight - I'm still so happy that DH and I will have got pg naturally even if it's just for a day! We'd reached the end of the line with tx really.

What's quite amusing is that before my last IVF I gave up coffee, alcohol took DHEA etc an didn't get a single egg. Have been back on the wine with a vengeance, stopped all the over-priced supplements and have managed it somhow...

Still assuming we'll be going for egg donation in the autumn though.

[krugerparkrules]

peanuthead you might find this website useful (if you are looking at ED) www.fertilityfriends.co.uk - there are boards that look at ED in the UK and also abroad ...
you mgiht find some good advice and support their as well with where you are right now ...
good luck and some cyper handholding to you - i had 3 miscarriages so know how it feels!
acupuncture is very good to stop early bleeding, but you would need to see a person who knows about fertility issues ...

[peanuthead]

thanks kruger - I'm on there already but don't want to post there about this as we have already set up our treatment for the autumn and the clinic staff read the boards so obviously I don't want them to know about even as tenuous a bfp as this one. Will cancel in plenty of time if it comes to that.

Not too worried about bleeding - just don't see how my eggs can be up to the job, so assuming we won't get as far as making a heartbeat. Just kind of waiting for it all to slip away..

[krugerparkrules]

you never know peanuthead, stranger (and wonderful) things have happened......
Perhaps you could go and get a blood test, a beta would give you some indication of where you are - and then you could do another beta 48 hours later, and if that is doubling you are onto a good thing!!!! Bloods are at least definitive!

[daisy99divine]

Hi peanut, sending lots of love but I think you should consider CMOTs words

There is much you can do to help a pg take - even if your clinic is in Turkey you should think about going to see a Dr wherever you are now (assume it's not Turkey ) because you could help things on their way

While it may well cost, I assume you paying for ED in any event, so that's not the main issue....

For eg, I know there is much talk about heperin (sp) preventing early mc - and it is now standard treatment for US IVF....

[CMOTdibbler]

I'd find your nearest private early pg specialist then and set up a viability scan etc with them. If you are London, then the Foetal Medicine centre is very good, and I had a really good experience with the Avenue clinic in Sevenoaks.

[peanuthead]

thanks cmt - will be another 2 1/2 weeks away til 6+5 and will be ticking the days. so unconvinced I'm not even going to think about bokking a scan but will probably be foetal medicine centre. been to them before....

[Caitni]

Peanuthead just wanted to send you lots of love and support. Early pregnancy is nerve wracking and the wait for the scan is agonising (I'm 5+1 weeks pregnant after ICSI and am counting the days til my first scan at 7 weeks). I hope it's good news for you when get do arrange your first scan.

[peanuthead]

Hi Caitlin - hooray for your BFP - my last early pg was over xmas so I had distractions - and didn't have the knowledge that I had shit eggs hanging over me.

I started feeling a tiny bit positive about it all today but just been looking up egg quality online - I'm so unlikely to get to the 6 and a half week scan -but I knew that anyway.

I'm most worried about it stuffing up our timings for ed and losing our donor. Have about 6 weeks before I have to tell the clinic before she starts her meds... But then I suppose with when mc is down to poor quality eggs it's usually quite early.

[rainbowdays]

peanuthead - wanted to handhold with you too. It is hard when you have been told there is no hope to allow yourself to hope at all. But miracles do happen, so perhaps this is your time. The waiting is hard and so do come here and vent all you need to.

[Disenchanted3]

Hi peanuts, can i whisper 'congratulations'

period pains are very, very normal, i also had brown spotting with my first 2 pregnancies and everything went fantastically.

[peanuthead]

now starting to feel sick too - much earlier than with DD. But I'm sure you can have proper pregnancy symptoms with a chemical preg/blighted ovum...May post a poll on this depending how desperate I get!

Thanks for the replies - and the congratulations - DH and I haven't even talked about it at all.

I'd love to be one of those miracles people aways trot out when they hear about your IF! I never ever believe them though...

[CMOTdibbler]

Yes, feeling sick isn't a sure sign of a successful pg, but it's a good sign though - your hormones are responding correctly.

Any more spotting ?

I do personally know some people for whom miracles did happen - so it has to happen to someone.

[peanuthead]

no more spotting, no more pain, just a bit of nausea and dizziness

I suppose they have to happen to someone yes - but I do hate the way people spout them at you - esp when you've had really bad news or another failed IVF. And esp as it's always a friend of a friend.

But then I did carry DD to term and she's not even 2 and it's a bit of a mystery to me how I can have good FSH (despite being over 40)and have a toddler yet be told I have no eggs left.

I got 2 follies at ec and neither had anything in them despite E2 levels showing there should have been 2 eggs and I wondered at the time if the consultant botched collection. Or for that matter if that happens quite often - but most people get a good no of follies so noone notices.

I suppose if I do have a chmical pregnancy then I'll at least know for sure that my eggs are shite.

[babybillandsplodge]

peanuthead, I am one of those people for whom a miracle really did happen - 'completely' blocked tubes (seen on an HSG and confirmed by lap and dye - one microscopic hole found in my rt tube and told million to one chance of natural pg) and I am now 23 weeks pg with my 2nd child, conceived naturally . 1st child conceived through IVF.

I don't want to get your hopes up but don't want you to think it's entirely impossible either.

Good luck

[peanuthead]

wow bb and s - err that's an impossibility! The body does do weird things...

But can't let myself be positive. Not sure why not as it will make no difference to the outcome or how upset I am..

[babybillandsplodge]

I know, complete impossibility - when my IVF cons scanned me at 7 wks she was quite stunned and said, "well, your tubes are something else"!

I also couldn't let myself believe it for a long time - ectopic pg scare at 5 weeks, spotting at 6 weeks. It is only now, when I can feel the baby move, that it feels real. I can't wait to tell him his amazing story!