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Midwife trying to talk me out of homebirth

(21 Posts)

By Sun 08-Nov-09 08:46:04 Add message | Report | Contact poster

I have two midwives, I have no idea who I'll see at my antenatal appointment until I get there- it's whoever is least busy.

Anyway, one of these is very pro-homebirth and is very supportive. The other doesn't want me to have one. She said:

'When you have a homebirth just you remember the poor midwife who comes to you has been at work all day and she is very tired. No doubt I'll get a call out tonight for a bloody homebirth... and after the busy day I've had!'

This time I went to see her and she said 'oh you'll be lucky to deliver naturally let alone have a homebirth and they might even induce you early because you have 'CPD' (she meant SPD)'.

I don't want a section and I don't want to be induced- I'm refusing induction this time because I had a horrible hospital birth last time and had prostin pains that were worse than my contractions (even the 10cm contractions), they were pure agony.

So... I just feel very out of control again now. They sent DH home last time as they said I wasn't progressing quick enough. I had to call him half an hour later as I'd gone from 0.5-4cms in half an hour and they told me to ring him myself from my mobile as they'd seen it.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Mon 09-Nov-09 16:59:11

Fuck me, "little pains", how did I miss that??? Little pains?????

( grin

toady)

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Mon 09-Nov-09 09:40:49

Agree with everything everyone else has said.

Get a more supportive MW and send this one for retraining! Esp re "C"PD.

Though just in her defence (a little) the not adding you to the HB list until 37 weeks might be standard protocol? In our trust they won't consider a HB if you go into labour before 37 weeks so they don't bother to do the visit until 36 weeks and don't consider anything firm until then.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Mon 09-Nov-09 09:33:19

I would just like to second everything in Foxytocin's excellent post. Get rid of her!

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Mon 09-Nov-09 09:31:08

She sounds like a right twat! Jacksmama grin

Yes just ring and ask her name or maybe on their website?

Hi Lulu smile

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sun 08-Nov-09 19:24:03

Sorry I am always focus on minutiae - I agree she has been unprogessional and she should take what you are saying into account. Definitely complain.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sun 08-Nov-09 19:18:11

She sounds like a right twat. Telling you to be concerned about how tired your "poor midwife" will be!!!! shock

That is NOT your problem, FFS!!

Do speak with the Supervisor of Midwives.
shock

and

for you.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sun 08-Nov-09 19:13:47

she sounds a bit unprofessional
most community midwives love home births! at least the ones I met were all very pro-home birth

hope you get what's best for you

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sun 08-Nov-09 19:10:26

"little pains" - maybe someone should give her a prostin pessary. I think I know how you felt.

You end up feeling so out of control in hospital and they have no regard for the person who is actually in labour. I would never be induced again (luckily for me I can't).

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sun 08-Nov-09 18:58:07

Lulu, don't worry, I stalk you too grin

Only coz you know your stuff so I'm always chuffed if you write on my threads lol.

Anyway, I'm going to have to start insisting on things a little I think.

The midwife said that she hasn't even put me on the homebirth list and she won't until 3 weeks before the birth.. hmm. Not pleased with this. I'll try ringing the Supervisor of Midwifery then. Do I just ring labour ward and ask who it is?

I'm not fussed if I have to give birth in hospital but I'm not labouring there after last time, and I'm not being induced, it hurts too much and they called them 'little pains'.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sun 08-Nov-09 10:00:38

i was told spd is a reason not to induce and recommended to have water birth if possible - i had the opposite experience of every midwife asking "are you sure you wouldn't like a homebirth?" at all appts, even at 39 weeks and me in a wheelchair with spd! No pressure, but it was a bit odd when people near me were fighting for homebirths.

good luck with the supervisor.

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Midwife trying to talk me out of homebirth