I am 33 weeks pregnant and at the moment have an elective section booked at 39 weeks.

My history is one previous vaginal birth that was assisted delivery. Had episiotomy, 2 external second degree tears and an internal third degree tear that wasn't picked up at the time and so wasn't repaired and minor multiple prolapse.

As a result I had a painful recovery, some bowel and bladder incontinence for a couple of months (bowel wasn't too bad: when I had the urge I had to get to a loo within seconds but not as bad as it might have been). Episiotomy healed badly with the result that I can only have sex if I'm taking the nerve painkiller, Gabapentin, and even then it is still painful. Am scheduled to have a Fenton's procedure a few months after delivery of DC2 to hopefully correct this.

I was adamant initially that I wanted a caesarean in case a natural delivery worsened my existing problems or created new ones but now I'm not sure. First labour was posterior and 40 hours and DC2 is in the same position so I imagine it would be another lengthy labour and difficult delivery but this will be my last child and I'm feeling regret that I won't have a happier birth experience that might lay to rest some of the issues from the first. Am I mad to consider a vaginal birth? I've been through my birth notes and it doesn't explain why I tore so badly so difficult to know what could be done differently.

Another huge consideration for me is that DD will be 12 or 13 months at the the time of delivery and I can't stand the thought of not being able to lift her. Am normally a very active, hands-on mum so am worried she will perceive this as a withdrawal at a time when she is bound to feel unsettled and vulnerable anyway.