I tore the first time, not the second. The second came out in two pushes!

DS1 7lb 15 - 2nd degree tear, few stitches, very sore

DS2 6lb 15 - no stitches...breathed instead of pushed when told and literally couldn't believe the head was out as I didn't have that hideous ripping feeling..

Fingers crossed midwife is good...listen carefully and take it slowly (if poss!)

DD1 - 2nd degree perineal tear plus vaginal wall tear resulting in a vulval haematoma. Stitched in delivery room and then had to go to theatre the next day to drain the haematoma and re-do the stitches under a spinal. All this from a tiny 6lb3oz baby!

DD2 - no tears, no grazes just a very slow, guided birth of 7lb9oz baby

P.S.
1st birth was on my back on a hospital bed.
2nd was a home birth, on my hands and knees bent over a birthing ball. So much better.

1st time – needed 3 stitches
2nd time – small 'graze' which I felt at the birth but not afterwards

No, episiotomy, tears and ventouse with the first. Not a stitch with the second. And the whole recovery was so much better cos I could sit. And walk.And move.

DD1 + epis was agony for weeks
DD2 + epis was no problem whatsoever, didn´t feel a thing afterwards..

I did BUT...

DS was 8lb14oz. I had a 3rd degree tear (nearly 4th). I couldn't stop myself from pushing and i know that why it was as bad.

DD (born 2 months ago) was exactly the same weight 8.14. but i felt so much more in control this time and I was able to (mostly) control the urge to push so that the MWs could guide her head out. I still tore but it was barely a 2nd degree. The Mws were able to stitch me up and I have no pain at all.

I don't know if you know, but the best positions to give birth in if you're worried about tearing are either couching down, or on hands and knees. I gave birth both times on knees and bracing myself against the back of the bed IYKWIM. I did graze but only a little on both occasions.
Good Luck.

Thanks all, very interesting. I am hoping that this time I will breathe through it more then just push with all my might!

Episiotomy and 3rd degree tear with the first. Small episiotomy with the 2nd. No tears with any of the next 7.

I tore both times. BUT...

The second time I nearly avoided it, I was so aware of the possibility that despite ds coming fast I paused and breathed through the very last bit - just to give myself time to stretch. And in fact that worked for me..

Only trouble is I then pushed one big last time once head was clear and the lil' darling got me with his shoulders.

Arse.

Or thankfully not that bad!

(I was also given arnica tablets to take and had some salted baths. I healed much quicker second time round - you'll be fiiiiiiine )

Yes, tore both times, but not as badly the second time and the recovery was much quicker ( didnt hurt to wee for as long!!)

I didn't tear with either but first time I had two big grazes and my perinium was swollen to the size of an egg, 2nd time no grazes and only a little swelling.

2nd degree tear with both but didn't have any actual problem with them, bit sore, sponge bathed with tea tree and lavender in the water every loo visit, both times back to normal by six weeks. I think second time it was less tearing but frankly I didn't look or want to! DD2 was over 9lb which may have made a difference.

2nd degree tear with both of them... sorry

2nd degree tear with DD1, who I gave birth to while being bullied by doctors and midwives and lying flat on my back on a hospital bed. Horrid.

Only a small graze with DD2, who, although almost 2lbs heavier, was born at home, in water, with no bullying at all!

I didn't tear or need an episiotomy second time round and dd2 was a lot bigger and had shoulder dystocia. I hope it all goes well for you.

i didn't tear the second time.

had 2nd degree tear with ventouse for dd1 (9lb12)

had small tear with normal delivery of ds (9lb3)

had 3rd degree with very fast delivery of dd2 (3 weeks early, only 7lb15) - repair in theatre etc ... still have arse probs to this day on occasion - have to eat plenty of fibre!!! (TMI).

They were all down the same line - but I would prefer that to cutting anyday.

Sorry, but yes. Although dd stupidly tried to come out handfirst superman style-y so it was her Fault Less uncomfortable 2nd time, and I think less complicated stitchery (they called in a consultant first time <strangely proud>

tore both times, ventouse 1st time, normal this time, but big baby girl (9lb 9oz) barely felt it this time (10wks ago) stitches inside & out, but healed so much quicker and didn't feel sore at all. did massage first time, no time/couldn't be bothered this time, don't think it made a difference for me.

I did use witch hazel on cotton wool pad at every loo visit and put the gel on as well, so that might have sped up the healing, but I honestly didn't feel uncomfortable once. Not done the deed yet tho' so don't know if it's made any difference to that (poor DH is a patient man! )

2nd degree the 1st time and a very small tear the 2nd time, didn't even need a stitch.

I didn't massage.

I had 2nd degree tear first time when delivering 8lb10oz baby with a 24 hour labour, I didnt tear at all with 2nd (3weeks ago) delivering a 9lb13.5oz baby in the quickest labour my midwife has ever seen, 50 mins start to finish!

Tore 1st time, but not 2nd.

fwiw I did perineal massage first time round and tore anyway after 2.5 hours of pushing.

2nd time (last saturday - home birth) I hadn't done any massage, barely pushed at all (in fact was being told not to) and baby flew out. They debated whether to stitch or not. Mw said it was exactly the same tear/place/line as before and gave a few stitches to help it heal more quickly. I've had 2 baths per day since with tea tree and lavender oil in and can honestly say that this morning they don't even feel tender (thank God as my nipples are shredded)

I tore in a completely different place 2nd time.

Nothing to lose by doing the massage I guess. (I didn't try it with either of mine so can't really comment).

One thing I found really helpful afterwards was the aromatherapy gel supplied by the hospital - worth asking a midwife if your hospital has an aromatherapist? I'm sure it helped me heal faster 2nd time.

Thanks all. I was thinking its going to be worse this time because it has been stitched down below already IYSWIM.

Is there any point doing pernial massage for a 2nd?

Yes, tore both times.
2nd time was worse in some ways (deeper) and better in others (less complicated to stitch)

I couldn't say one time was worse than the other, if that helps

Did you graze? I did with dd and that was more uncomfortable then the tear.

yes I did - but not as badly either

I did

2nd degree both times

No problems with the stitches though and healed well

Felt 'normal' again (namely, intercourse) about 9m later

afraid so, but not as bad...

I know this has been asked a million times but dc2 is due in January. I only dd last June and had a 2nd degree tear.

If you tore the 1st time did you tear as bad the 2nd time? Worse or not at all?

Thanks.