I tore the first time, not the second. The second came out in two pushes!

DS1 7lb 15 - 2nd degree tear, few stitches, very sore

DS2 6lb 15 - no stitches...breathed instead of pushed when told and literally couldn't believe the head was out as I didn't have that hideous ripping feeling..

Fingers crossed midwife is good...listen carefully and take it slowly (if poss!)

DD1 - 2nd degree perineal tear plus vaginal wall tear resulting in a vulval haematoma. Stitched in delivery room and then had to go to theatre the next day to drain the haematoma and re-do the stitches under a spinal. All this from a tiny 6lb3oz baby!

DD2 - no tears, no grazes just a very slow, guided birth of 7lb9oz baby

P.S.
1st birth was on my back on a hospital bed.
2nd was a home birth, on my hands and knees bent over a birthing ball. So much better.

1st time – needed 3 stitches
2nd time – small 'graze' which I felt at the birth but not afterwards

No, episiotomy, tears and ventouse with the first. Not a stitch with the second. And the whole recovery was so much better cos I could sit. And walk.And move.

DD1 + epis was agony for weeks
DD2 + epis was no problem whatsoever, didn´t feel a thing afterwards..

I did BUT...

DS was 8lb14oz. I had a 3rd degree tear (nearly 4th). I couldn't stop myself from pushing and i know that why it was as bad.

DD (born 2 months ago) was exactly the same weight 8.14. but i felt so much more in control this time and I was able to (mostly) control the urge to push so that the MWs could guide her head out. I still tore but it was barely a 2nd degree. The Mws were able to stitch me up and I have no pain at all.

I don't know if you know, but the best positions to give birth in if you're worried about tearing are either couching down, or on hands and knees. I gave birth both times on knees and bracing myself against the back of the bed IYKWIM. I did graze but only a little on both occasions.
Good Luck.

Thanks all, very interesting. I am hoping that this time I will breathe through it more then just push with all my might!