I have had two dc- dc1 was born by ventouse after a long labour and was back to bak the whole time. I had an epidural but wasn't a pleasant experience. Dc2 was nearly 3lbs heavier and was also back to back but in a bad position ( think deep transverse arrest was the description used) and I ended up pushing for 90 minutes before having an emcs.
I'm now expecting dc3 and worrying like mad. I talked to my midwife, dh etc and felt that an elcs would be my preferred choice, if not for medical reasons then psychological as I'm truly petrified of the same thing happening again.
However, the consultant doesn't agree and was very dismissive and patronising, saying things like 'when c sections go wrong they really go wrong', ' if you persist with what you want we will listen but still send you on your way way as a reply', 'you gave birth naturally once so you can do it again' and ' if you were to turn up in labour your baby would be just there and a few pushes is all it would take'
The way we left the meeting was for me to go back at 36 weeks and if I am healthy, baby is not too big and in a good position then they will not allow a c section. Having given birth both ways, I am well aware of the risks and consequences of a caeserian section and feel it is the best option for me as it gives me a small sense of control, unlike my previous two births!
Any opinions or thoughts would be much appreciated. I cannot bear the thought of the unknown until my due date
Not much to add since meeting my.midwife... She was a little shocked by what consultant said but thinks he may be right. She is going to take regular measurements and if baby looks big then will make sure I have a scan before seeing him at 36 weeks. She also reassured me that if baby looks like it might weigh over 9 pounds they will refer me.back to consultant and won't let me stay in labour for hours- she thinks if.I don't deliver after 30 mins of pushing they will do another emcs.
Am slightly disappointed in the outcome.but not sure what I really wanted from it. I am going to wait and see how big baby gets. To add to my misery my back/pelvis pain is getting much worse and midwife is concerned I 'may be depressed' so I think I have to just focus on one day at a time and worry about the birth closer to 36 weeks.
Sorry for the long post and thanks for all the advice
I'm sorry but I really wouldn't be happy with what the midwife has said , ask for a referral to a different consultant and tell them you want a section . I think its a mistake to leave it and it needs dealing with now , you have rights please stand up for them .
"She also reassured me that if baby looks like it might weigh over 9 pounds they will refer me.back to consultant and won't let me stay in labour for hours- she thinks if.I don't deliver after 30 mins of pushing they will do another emcs."
Oh how fucking wonderful.
They are going to put your health and your baby's health at risk knowing you are likely to end up with a section anyway.
No wonder you are depressed if this is how people responsible for your care are treating you.
An elective section is a world away from emergency surgery carried out in labour in terms of how you feel afterwards.
NeatFreak that's not much of a surprise that the ordinary midwife fobbed you off. I find her suggestion that you might be depressed
I once read on mumsnet that "before deciding you're depressed, first check you aren't surrounded by arseholes" ... Seems a relevant quote here
Please go back to the start of this thread and read my 4 step plan I posted on 16/02 - and use it to get the birth you want.
If you let them leave you till 36 weeks for a scan then be prepared to be fobbed off with consultants being unavailable etc - by that time they won't have long to wait for nature to take its course and for you to go into labour. And all that after months of stressing about it.
If you want an ELCS then you are going to have to (a) be determined and (b) make sure you talk to more senior staff.
Did she? You don't sound reassured. Ask yourself the big question. Did she reassure me? If she didn't you need more support than this and they HAVE failed you here.
I would be asking for a second opinion if you do feel that way.
I do think this has been badly handled. Even if they do agree to an ELCS it doesn't mean you are committed to it, and maybe simply having someone saying "yes I am listening to your concerns and its an option. We can check things at 36 weeks and if you want to change you mind and go for a VB at that point, thats ok too" might be better for you rather than leaving you depressed and simply dismissing your concerns.
It does just sound like they've patted you on the head and said "There, there, its all going to be fine" and sent you on your way rather than properly listening to you.
Thanks again for the replies- I have read them and been mulling them over. I have a long wait until 36 weeks so am going to sit on it for a while before deciding what to do... Dh and I have talked at length about it and I'm now more open to the idea of a natural birth so waiting to see size/position of baby is probably not a bad idea.
This means that consultants advice wasn't incorrect but his manner certainly was. Tbh, I haven't the energy or time to focus on him atm but I havejt forgotten it and may revisit it later in the pregnancy. For now I need to focus on myself and keeping us safe/healthy whilst dealing with lots of other issues going on in my life. Thanks again for the support, which has been gratefully received
I realise this is a zombie thread but thought I'd revisit to say that following my appointment at 36 weeks the consultant readily agreed to a c section. Midwife strongly hinted that he may have tried to put me off at 20 weeks purely so that I would give consideration to all options so in that respect it worked as I did loads more research into vbac. Baby is measuring very big, particularly the head (which was the problem with dc2) so the decision was an easy one to make.
Apologies for the self indulgent update but thought it might help anyone in a similar position. And I'm hAving a baby in a couple of weeks
Wow, this is my first time reading this thread. Delighted you got sorted and are happy with what's happening. I still think you were treated appallingly and should make a complaint if you can find the time/energy! I only had one bad birth experience and had a completely different experience of requesting an ELCS on the NHS. The consultant was so understanding that it was mental health concerns largely driving my request. It's so wrong that women are made to feel so powerless about this. This is your third baby and you knew what you wanted and should have been listened to!!
Good luck with the ELCS, what date are you having the section? I'm having mine on the 10th June :-)
I am rather cross about it but mainly glad that I have got my preferred choice and that I didn't have to push for it. Interestingly, before my appt my midwife said that said consultant was very nice and approachable and likely to let me choose so maybe he was having a bad day when I saw him! I haven't the energy to take it any further for now ( I forgot how draining and painful late pregnancy can be!) but it'll be interesting if I see him in the hospital or even if he delivers dc...
I had the same experience and there were a few options. Appeal, yes it's hard, but you need to stick to your guns. Or switch hospitals if there is another near by. I have 3 that I can choose between but the one I wanted to go to we're strict on sections. I was told I would have no issues at the other hospitals. I was also told if you have had a section there isn't as much intervention they can do due to scar rupture. Also if you don't progress at a good rate they won't leave you hanging around for the same reason. I ended up agreeing that if I was overdue again I could have a section, no induction but if I went into labour naturally I would try but if I didn't progress at 1cm an hour then they would section me. Maybe it's worth getting some guideline built into your birth plan so you can feel more confident and in control