Consultant says I won't be 'allowed' an elcs

(37 Posts)
NeatFreak Sat 16-Feb-13 20:37:18

I have had two dc- dc1 was born by ventouse after a long labour and was back to bak the whole time. I had an epidural but wasn't a pleasant experience. Dc2 was nearly 3lbs heavier and was also back to back but in a bad position ( think deep transverse arrest was the description used) and I ended up pushing for 90 minutes before having an emcs.

I'm now expecting dc3 and worrying like mad. I talked to my midwife, dh etc and felt that an elcs would be my preferred choice, if not for medical reasons then psychological as I'm truly petrified of the same thing happening again.

However, the consultant doesn't agree and was very dismissive and patronising, saying things like 'when c sections go wrong they really go wrong', ' if you persist with what you want we will listen but still send you on your way way as a reply', 'you gave birth naturally once so you can do it again' and ' if you were to turn up in labour your baby would be just there and a few pushes is all it would take'

The way we left the meeting was for me to go back at 36 weeks and if I am healthy, baby is not too big and in a good position then they will not allow a c section. Having given birth both ways, I am well aware of the risks and consequences of a caeserian section and feel it is the best option for me as it gives me a small sense of control, unlike my previous two births!

Any opinions or thoughts would be much appreciated. I cannot bear the thought of the unknown until my due date sad

NeatFreak Sat 16-Feb-13 20:38:10

Sorry, should have previewed better. He said he would send me on my way with no still as a response

Panzee Sat 16-Feb-13 20:40:06

Can you change consultants?

InNeedOfBrandy Sat 16-Feb-13 20:41:02

I have no advice but IMO every birth should be what the mother wants inc ECS

5madthings Sat 16-Feb-13 20:43:04

Insist on seeing a diff consultant and i am pretty sure the NICE guidlines say yoi can choose a c section.

Consultant clearly knows nothing about birth.

A woman scared and angry in labour does not lead to optimal outcomes.

AThingInYourLife Sat 16-Feb-13 20:45:34

You can't possibly stay under the care of such a prick.

Change consultants and tell them why you don't trust this man to be your doctor.

NeatFreak Sat 16-Feb-13 20:47:52

Thanks. I already have an appointment with him for 36 weeks, can I simply request I see someone else? Or talk to my midwife? I feel so powerless and helpless when in reality I am assertive and confident!

Imaginethat Sat 16-Feb-13 20:48:51

What an absolute prick. I think you need to do whatever you possibly can to change consultant.

Imaginethat Sat 16-Feb-13 20:50:14

Ring your midwife, ring everyone. You cannot return to that consultant.

blondieminx Sat 16-Feb-13 20:52:20

1. Ask to speak to the Supervisor of Miwives for that hospital and explain how patronising and dismissive the consultant was, and request an appointment with a different consultant. Explain that you expect the consultant to be provided with the notes from your last 2 labours so that he is fully aware of your obstetric history.

2. Go see 2nd consultant having read the NICE guidelines and be very factual eg "my last 2 labours have required instruments/EMCS and I am very very anxious and worried about the birth and having had a section before, I would like to elect this time as I understand I am now permitted to under the updated NICE guidelines from November 2011"

3. Read what he writes in your notes there and then so you can dispute if necessary.

4. Update us as to how you get on smile

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Sat 16-Feb-13 20:55:08

And put in a complaint about his choice of your birth experience! Someone pays his wages, he must have a boss somewhere.

Chubfuddler Sat 16-Feb-13 20:57:16

I was told there was no need for me to have an ELCS following a horrible 3rd degree tear by an arsey consultant at 36 weeks having been offered one by her registrar at my 12 week scan. I was so shocked at the last minute change of attitude that I said "if you tell me I cannot have a c section that is fine. But I will have you know that if I or my baby suffers any injury that could have been avoided by a c section I will. sue. And I am a personal injury solicitor."

She glared at me and reached for the booking diary.

Complain complain complain.

McPheetStink Sat 16-Feb-13 20:58:56

This happened to me. I wanted a section for various medical reasons, and was told NO! In the end, I begged for an induction as I was in so much physical pain I literally feared for my own MH. I was induced three times, no results. Begged for a section again, still told NO. And that I would have to go through the induction process again. Again, I was in a total state, and wasn't coping at all with any of it. After a further 2 failed inductions, I was given a section. If only they had listened to me in the first place. I'm still not quite over it all, but have a wonderful Dd.

Please please, seek another consultant. NO women should be forced in to a delivery they don't want.

NeatFreak Sat 16-Feb-13 20:59:29

Thank you, I have been doubting myself and wondering if he was right but I am now sure my gut instinct was correct. I will speak to my midwife this week and get some advice.

Well he might have been right in that your third is likely to just fall out when you sneeze (mine did), and if you plan well, avoid interventions and give birth at home it coukd be a piece of cake. But to increase your chances of this, your mind has to be at peace and confident. No chance whilst you feel out of control and bullied.

memberofthestowmassiv Sat 16-Feb-13 21:05:08

You poor thing and what a complete tosser. COMPLAIN! Also gather some evidence regarding VBAC's, as it will show you have made an informed decision (not that you haven't of course already, just adding to your ammunition).

I ended up having an emcs after a failed epidural and back to back / ventouse . forceps attempts with DS1. I said from the off I wanted a ELCS with DS2. Only once was I "gently persuaded" by a registrar on the ward during a false alarm that I was a great candidate for a VBAC. I said thanks, but no thanks, and they listened, thankfully.

Wishing you lots of luck smile

Chunderella Sat 16-Feb-13 21:05:29

Exactly!

Complain, OP, and insist on seeing another consultant for a second opinion. Also you could ask him to put the reasons for his decision in writing.

CockBollocks Sat 16-Feb-13 21:10:13

Just to add I would make it clear you want to see another consultant now - not at 36 wks.

Tell your midwife he has left you anxious and panicky about the birth.

I walked into my 28wk app prepared to be assertive, I told them point blank that my mental and emotional state relied on having an ELCS as there was no way I could go through another birth like DS1 - it was booked for me.

I had previously had various midwives and consultants tell me I would be fine despite never seeing my previous notes hmm

NeatFreak Sat 16-Feb-13 21:14:47

The consultant didn't have my previous notes and seemed to rely on what I told him ( to be fair I guess he might have read them before seeing me). I'm sure there is every chance I could deliver naturally but I can't cope with the uncertainty. Apart from anything else, they estimated dc2 to be 1lb heavier than number 1 when it was closer to 3lbs so I don't think extra scans or reassurance will make much impact on me (fussy and hard to please, me?!)

blondieminx Sat 16-Feb-13 21:58:14

Just be clear with them!

"scans and estimates don't provide me with any reassurance because of my past experiences - dc2 was estimated to be a pound heavier than dc1 but it was closer to 3 pounds... And I had a scary labour which ended in an EMCS. My choice is to elect this time around, and having been through it once before (though not in the calm circumstances of an elective!) I am fully aware of what to expect. I would like to go ahead and get a date booked in now, please".

blondieminx Tue 19-Feb-13 19:45:13

How did your MW appt go, NeatFreak?

TheWalkingDead Tue 19-Feb-13 20:09:51

Please request another consultant and complain about how the one you have currently made you feel. It really isn't acceptable. I had an EMCS with DS1 and had a horrible pg and lead up to labour where even with multiple attempts at induction, syntocin drip and a very chilled out me, I failed to progress past 7cms, with the MW telling me I wasn't dilating evenly.

When I fell pg with DS2 my consultant wasn't available so I saw someone working under his tutelage when I was 16 weeks pg. She repeatedly told me that 60% of women who had VBACs go on to give birth successfully and I would probably be one of those, even though I told her that I wanted an ELCS for a variety of reasons (mental health, pre-existing health problem, previous birth). My local MW told me I probably wouldn't get an ELCS. At about 30 weeks I saw another person working with my consultant, and she said I'd probably give birth successfully and I'd be fine, again, with me protesting especially as I was suffering with a fibromyalgia flare up at the time.

Cue meeting my consultant for the first time not five minutes later. He listened to my account of my last birth, my problems in this pg and said based on what I had said he saw no reason not to schedule a c-section. I was so relieved that someone had actually listened to me, rather than just quoting statistics or smiling and nodding and not actually listening to me whilst they spout out their opinion, that I burst into tears.

Please don't leave it as long as I did, it was horrible having it drag on. Others have given better advice - I've waffled on quite a bit actually....sorry! I just wanted to let you know my experience so you felt a bit more hopeful - some consultants get a bit blasé about everything, but you don't have to put up with it. Good luck!

NeatFreak Mon 25-Feb-13 08:30:39

Thanks again for all the responses. I am seeing my midwife on Wednesday so fingers crossed she has some suggestions..

Sleepstarved Tue 26-Feb-13 09:54:53

Not much to add Neat but to say elective sections are always safer than emergencies and have been proven in (massive, well organised trials) that they are the safest mode of delivery the baby.
There are slightly increased risks for mum but that is compared to natural straight forward baby falling out birth which none of us can guarantee.
When sections go wrong they were almost always emergencies.

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