Thought of hospital birth already makes me feel i've lost control

[YesIveNameChanged]

This could be long sorry so please forgive me.

i had an awful experience for the birth of ds, induced with arm, only given an hour to get into "full blown labour" whole cascade of intervention resulting in forceps delivery that i was not informed about and definately didn't consent to (so much so that i asked if i'd torn i was told by the doctor "i had to cut you")

Anyway, i'm currently 35 weeks pregnant and had planned on a home birth as the thought of being in hospital again terrifies me. unfortunately this is no longer possible as due to tenancy ending on our property the day before my edd we're moving in with my mil; so a home birth in a 2 bed flat housing 3 adults and a 2 year old just doesn't seem feasible.

The problem is i still dont want to go to hospital. I really want a water birth but as im due around the xmas period i'm already envisaging being told i cant use it as not enough staff. I just feel defeated and like ive lost control already, i intend to write quite a prescriptive birth plan and refuse induction unless medically necessary but i still feel like going to hospital means i'll have the same awful experience as last time.

[DoodleAlley]

Speak to your midwife pronto. They have people to speak to in my hospital if you've had issues with your last birth and might be able to talk thru with you how to make this work