Can you request a c-section?(35 Posts)
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Im 27+4 with my first and i do NOT want a natural birth.
I asked my midwife if i could have one, her reply was you can have a natural birth so i thought okay.
Fast foward to now, at 16 weeks my stomach muscles tore at the front<waves hello to pain> I still suffer from it now its getting worse as im getting bigger. I had an awful water infection it came on due to stress(dr told me). It killed to even touch my tummy and i thought i was in labour it was that bad. Worse pain EVER, dialled 999 everything.
I cant handle pain, i have 2 tattoos and tongue piercing. Which did not hurt, but i am a woss when it comes to stomach pains.
I dont like the thought of it all, i mean the whole birthing process, it makes me very paranoid that i wont be able to do it and something will happen during labour. With my tore muscles i cant even think of what it would be like in labour, my braxton hicks send me into tears because of it(i dont get them often).
I dont even know if i can kick up a fuss, because i dont want to be rude, its effecting me as i worry most days.
Its not needles as i said i have tattoos and my tongue pierced its them proding me and getting it 'wrong'.
I dont mind needles, as long as i know they will be able to do it i will let them.
One MW tried to take blood 7 seperate times, i asked her could i come another day she said no im getting your blood, she didnt get it!
All the times i have had my blood taken, quite a few times only 1 nurse can take it at my local doctors.
The veins on my hand are far more easier than my inner arm.
I just feel like crying! Its awful. I wish i could just snap my fingers and he will be out with no pain or needles!!
re the Clexane, some people have the midwives administer it but i think others have had to do it themselves.
you'll also probably have to have a catheter in which can result in a urinery tract infection (it didn't with me and to be honest not having to worry about peeing for 24 hours was about the only good thing about having a c section in my case...that and the baby of course!).i realise that is completely different from a needle but i was shocked and freaked out when they told me about in the hospital.
like wheresmespecs i'm not saying that to frighten you further but if you don't know this stuff already it's really important that you do your research, firstly to make a truly informed decision and secondly you have to know your stuff to stand your ground with a consultant.
xmasevebundle - just so you know, and I say this not to discourage you but to be realistic -
If you have a needle fear or phobia, you do need to know there are needles involved with C sections. Apart from the one they use for your epidural or spinal (though you don't have to see that one, it goes in your back!), you will have a canula in your hand, so they can put a drip in, plus any other meds that need to go intravenously. I wish I could remember how long mine was in for - maybe 12 hours, or less.
I also had daily injections of Clexane, a blood thinner, for 5 days after my cs - a community mw came out and did it.
None of this was a problem for me, I'm fine with needles - but if you go and see a consultant and mention fear of needles, this is more likely to line you up for the VB route than the CS.
I spoke to my MW today and she said she's going to refure me to the consultant, which i am very pleased about.
1st step it to get it but another to get a c-section. She said hes likely to opt for natural birth.
I would cry if i didnt get a c-section, i will say to the consultant about the needle fear, its when they take my bloods they never find a good enough vain, which stresses me out to say the least. I am panicing even more now, i dont have my anti-d nor a flu jab!
I had an ELCS for my first (no medical reason) on NH before the new guidelines so it is possible.
You need to get an appointment with a consultant ASAP and if your midwife wont refer you ring and book yourself one. The consultant is the only person who can give the OK(soignore your stupid midwife).
Read as much as you can pros/cons and be prepared to fight your corner - take DP/DH if you feel you can't manage (my DH was great) nd don't be afraid of tuning on the waterworks and doing the whole "I wish I'd never got pregnant" histronics
If you really think it is your preferred choice though you need to act FAST - (I only got my fist agreed with 2 weeks to go so very stressful)
I had started to write my list already, i will give to my midwife.
At my 20w scan, he weight 1lb already, at 24w he had no room left, at 25w when i thought i was in prem labour, he said hes weighs 2lb 12oz, He must weight about 3lb now and im only 28w.
I have a fear of him getting stuck and not be able to push him out then causing him stress and end something awful happening.
I have my bloods and anti d tomorrow im going to ask for appointment at 29w. They wont brush me off again, it stresses me out!
One thing to consider also is that different consultants will have different views. If you can chat to other mothers, they may have had a range of consultants between them. In my area for example I knew there were two consultants who are v pro natural birth from talking to family and friends. There was another one who offered my friend a choice of vbac or elcs in the 1st appt, so I chose to see him and the process was a lot easier.
The pain was one thing I never mentioned, whenever someone asked why I wanted an ELCS. I was quite vague (genuinely is a mixture of fears) as I knew they could address the issue of pain. For me, I think the fear was 'feeling out of control' and 'on show' and permanent damage to my nether regions/ serious tearing etc.
Hmmthinkingaboutit makes a lot of sense.
I asked for (and got) an ELCS twice. 1st time was difficult as had a lot of fobbing off. Ideally you need to get to see the consultant.
When I asked for mine I made sure I was armed with the facts/ pros and cons/ statistical risks. These were all in the NICE guidelines. I studied it as if I was having an exam. I wrote a letter to the consultant to give when I saw them. I think this helped formalise it and made it harder to fob off.
As for the OP's themselves they went very well and the pain was managable and tapered off by the 1st week. My baby is 2 weeks old tommorow and I feel back to normal, obviously not lifting/ doing anything v strenuous!
Given what you've said here are a few things to consider:
1) The pain is the main issue here, and not being able to cope is what is giving you the anxiety. Has pain relief been discussed with you at length? Have possibilities other than a CS been proposed to you (perhaps something like a early epidural might be an acceptable possibility as an alternative)? I know this isn't what you want but it needs to be part of the process and you need to be being given some options here rather than just being dismissed and left to get on with it.
If this hasn't been done it just proves that the midwives think you are easy to fob off and aren't taking you seriously and your need to fight your corner. I think this is your biggest issue and the one you need to tackle most, especially if you get a lot of hostility to the idea of a CS. Show that you are willing to at least consider other options if you are given them and if you are given them be able to discuss if and why they might not be an acceptable solution to you.
2) If your Mum thinks you should get a CS and is supportive of this, enlist her to back you up in your case. She could be an important advocate and voice to say you fully understand what you are asking and to stand up for you and say you are being fobbed off because of your age and they need to do more to support you regardless of the outcome of your request.
3) Write things down and be prepared for your next appointment. If you feel dismissed because of your age, put it on paper so it can be discussed. It doesn't have to be formal, but if you put it into writing you demonstrate you've given it some time and thought. It makes it more likely that they will take you seriously.
The best way to show you are informed and want to do the best thing, is not to just accept what you are told but be able to ask questions. So again writing down stuff before you go, will help you do that.
4) You said "Id be very annoyed if i didnt, unless the dr can state a good enough reason which i think will benefit me, i wont have one. E.g If the dr said if you have the c-section you are unlikey to have kids again, i would not have one."
Given this is one of your concerns, that might persuade you to have a VB and the fact that you would not necessarily be happy with one child (or perhaps even two) in the long term, I think this is something you need to think about.
You should read up on the risks associated with an ELCS so you can state your case to anyone who challenges you on this particular point. The one you want to look at most is the difference between a VB and a CS for the possibility of a hysterectomy due to post-partum haemorrhage; the NICE guidance states you are statistically more likely to have a complication which leads to this with a planned ELCS than a planned VB. Its is a small risk, but one they listed as being statistically significant and different between a VB and ELCS. Given what you have said to make a properly informed choice on this, you need to assess whether this would be a risk you are willing to take and find acceptable to you.
Also bare in mind that the risks with childbirth are very heavily age weighted. A woman over 35 is much more likely to have a complicated VB or EMCS than you if you are in good health. The risks of an ELCS because its scheduled surgery are not quite as extreme when you get older. This distortion means that statistics can be a little misleading if they are averaged (like the NICE guidelines are and this their big failing).Theoretically this means it could make a planned VB look more risky than it actually is and could make an ELCS look less risky than it actually is in your particular case. Which is why you do need to talk this through properly with a doctor to understand the risks based on your individual circumstances and be able to ask the right questions given your biggest concerns, worries and indeed anything that might make you change your mind and go through with a VB.
you may not get a c-section but i believe the key to getting what you want when it comes to consultants and midwives is to be calm, considered and VERY well informed about the process that you do want but also the process that you don't want. i think they are unlikely to give you an ELCS on the grounds that you are afraid of the pain and will present you with many reasons why you should at least try for a VB.
People will have differing opinions about ELCS, you couldn't pay me enough to have another c section but if it is genuinely what you want then i agree with others that you will have to fight hard for it, take someone with you to the next appointment, know your stuff in terms of risks and benefits and keep pushing those angles.
either way good luck,i promise the baby is worth it at the end.
Take someone with you to your consultant appointment, maybe your mum or someone who really supports and understands why you are asking for one and is prepared to speak up for you if you get emotional.
Write down all the reasons why you are asking for one and make sure you go through them all, don't get thrown off track.
I've had midwives & other mums look down there noses at me and roll there eyes when I have even mentioned my intention of asking for an elective c section this time round. And I'm double your age
My last midwife appointment was last week, I had two midwives there and I was in a right state talking about my first birth & future birth in five weeks. The one which was most resistant had no idea of my previous birth, she just patronised me. When I asked her outright if I can ask for a c-section at my consultant appointment next week, she said 'The country we live in does not provide c sections on demand'.
The other midwife who has been seeing me for a few months now, was more sympathetic and gave me the advice about writing everything down.
Good luck girl, be prepared to fight your corner.
I know thats half the reason they wont give me one because of my age
I have spoken to my mum, she even thinks a c-section would be alot better for me.
I understand the health risks and with the 'relationship' side. I doubt unless i marry i wont have kids again, there is no if or buts.
This pregnancy has been far to stressful and shit if im honest!
I dont think i will get a c-section, but i want one. Id be very annoyed if i didnt, unless the dr can state a good enough reason which i think will benefit me, i wont have one.
If the dr said if you have the c-section you are unlikey to have kids again, i would not have one.
But thats really not going to happen is it? Unless if effects me in any way like that i will push for one.
xmasevebundle, I'm going to be very blunt with you and hope you don't take offense to this.
Your age is going to play a big factor in this whether you like or others will admit it.
Both in the way you are taken seriously and whether you will be able to get an ELCS. To put it bluntly, some midwives/doctors rightly or wrongly will look down their noses at you or view you are immature / not informed enough about the subject / responsible enough given your age and current status with your ex-partner and this could be why they are being so dismissive of you at the moment.
And they are more inclined to give older women an ELCS for a few reasons - they are less likely to have subsequent children as they have less fertile years, they are more likely to suffer complications than you are, they are more likely to have the vocal support of a long term partner and they are better equipped and able to state their argument for an ELCS.
You really do need to consider this yourself. It is not a level playing field and not everyone is treated the same.
The real elephant in the room is that, at 19, the truth is you don't know how many children you are likely to have as you simply can't predict the future especially if you do not have a stable relationship. The big deal is that the risks associated with childbirth increase with every CS you have, and they generally decrease with 2nd and 3rd VBs.
Having an ELCS so young therefore does have more potential long term health issues and consequencies if you have multiple pregnancies and in turn more CSs. This is why the fact you are so young is a big deal; you really need to understand why the doctors will be reluctant to give you an ELCS and just how this decision could have a big impact on your life choices in the future.
If you really do want an ELCS you are going to need to prove to them, that you fully understand this and are making a truly informed decision - perhaps to a greater degree than an older woman. You need to arm yourself with as much information as possible. Ideally, if you can enlist your mum to go with you to appointments and back you up, it might aid your case for any extra support (if not an ELCS).
I wish I could give you a more positive response about this, but I think you need to be aware of this in order to get the help and support you need, and that is best for you, and the only way to do that is to be completely honest about this.
I don't want to frighten you either; you just need to know that from the outset you may find this a particularly difficult thing for you given your circumstances. Its doesn't make it an impossibility just that you need to really have to do your homework and show you fully understand the decision you might be making here.
I guess it varies person to person how you heal.
My skin heals quick after a cut or a deep layer of skin, my tattos healed within 1 week scab dropped off everything. So i dont know if that would 'help'
But i am going to get a c-section now, i think it would put me at ease. My MW told me they make the choices how i give birth not myself?
Im 19 and its my first so i have to VB because i 'can'.
I am going to see the dr next week and tell him my worries and what my MW said.
Its awful that they have just said oh no you can do it. They arent really the 'best' midwifes but are VERY supportive of my situation with my exp, i dont need thar support now, i am worried about having a baby not a bloody
hello, sorry to hear you are so frightened about the birth. You need to request an appointment to see a consultant at your chosen hospital, as they will be performing the operation they will have final say over whether you can request one for non medical reasons. If one consultant won't do it they can refer you to another one who will.
You may be referred for counselling or to see a midwife who specialises in this kind of stuff.
You may have a true phobia of labour, called tocophobia. This is itself a good indication for elective cs. Although some trusts to have a policy of not offering elective cs without medical indication they often do if there is a psychological indication, as there may well be in your case. (I work in a trust like this).
Whatever the guidelines, your fears should not be dismissed as they are being at the moment. A good starting point is a local supervisor of midwives. Ring her and explain your fears and the problems you are having accessing proper support. Your hospital has to provide you with this information if you ask for it.
Only you can decide what is best for you. Some women would never choose vaginal birth, some would never choose a section. Every woman is different, and whatever choice you make is right, as long as it is right for you. Good luck, and I hope you can start enjoying your pregnancy soon.
Afterpains? What afterpains?
I had no afterpains after my ELCS. DS was 100 percent BF too (people kept mentioning afterpains in connection with BF - no idea what they were on about).
They can't be 'inevitable'. I guess some women get them, some don't. I had a great recovery, took paracetamol and diclofenac and the most uncomfortable bit was my stitches starting to pull. But they were removed day 5.
Just my experience though. You should obvs be as well informed about the risks of a cs op (I think people should be as well informed about the risks of a vb too, but this seems to be an unfashionable view). Just be wary of people who say MY BIRTH WAS LIKE THIS SO THIS MUST BE WHAT THEY ARE ALL LIKE. That applies to vb and caesarian....
I think you need to ask to see your consultant, to explain your concerns and discuss options for the birth. It's is up to the consultant to decide whether CS is appropriate for you, it's not the midwives decision.
An ELCS would normally be scheduled for 39 weeks, unless there's a reason it needs to be earlier.
I had a EMCS is would 100% recommend it. I will request one for my 2nd too. If you don't ask,you don't get! Good luck x
I'm in a similar boat but on my second pregnancy. First time round I was very keen for an earth mother type water birth with minimal intervention. I wasn't scared at all. The birth itself went ok - gas and air only, 2nd degree tear. But afterwards everything just felt "wrong" - sex and smear tests absolutely excruciating. Felt as if everything was falling out. I saw the GP and gynae numerous times as I suspected a prolapse but they said it was ok. But the skin there just feels so tight and dry and I am terrified of a baby coming out of there
I haven't broached the subject with the midwife yet but I think I will the next time...,
The thing is, the pain you are going to feel in unavoidable. Afterpains are going to happen either way, and these are like the Braxton hicks. I had an EMCS and am very reluctantly facing an ELCS this time. The pain is there regardless, I never actually had labour pains as I've never been in labour due to medical mistakes.
I was incapacitated for well over six weeks, my nextdoor neighbour was driving days after giving birth naturally. My wound was badly infected and the internal pain, plus the afterpains, which are your womb contracting, was dreadful. This is not a path I would choose willingly.
I have had both types of delivery and would choose a c section anyday. I didn't have gaps between my contractions. The pain was constant. At least with my section the pain was manageable. (And I had an epidural with firstborn too).
I requested a section and was granted it at my 35 week appointment with the consultant. It can be done. You just have to keep pushing for it.
its much less painful than episiotomy stitches!
Not necessarily. I didn't get pain from mine.
CSection pain is not 'outside' pain. They cut through all the layers! it hurts more on the inside than out!
Having said that, its much less painful than episiotomy stitches!
I found it a whole lot less painful then an episitomy which I couldn't sit on for a month
Definitely talk to the Dr about your concerns, maybe even call PALS if you're not happy with them? You could also try and raise it with the midwives at the hospital (rather than the community midwife). They might be able to offer you some counselling, or talk through your fears and you may even find you feel better about having a vaginal birth. But if not, stick to your guns, do not be afraid to kick up a fuss. Going into a brth terrified could possibly affect how things go; your mental health is important and don't let them make you feel like you're being silly!