Any tips for keeping my stress levels down during childbirth??

[Honeymoonmummy]

Hi all,

I'm 37 weeks PG with my second and my first labour was very traumatic, long story but I had an induction, continuous monitoring which they said I had to be on my back for (much more painful and this is what started my stress levels going up - I know this doesn't have to be the case now), epidural failed twice ... basically I ended up with a top line BP of 190 and a threat of a stroke/ seizure which meant forceps delivery and post partum hemorrhage of 2 litres.

I only found out this morning that my high BP was definitely NOT pre-eclampsia which I always thought it was but instead due to the stress.

To cut a long story short too late I need as many tips as I can get in how to chill out during the labour this time - things DH can say/ do to me to calm me, things I can do to stay calm, smells, sounds, anything you can think of that kept you calm during your labour. To be fair, hopefully things won't go quite as wrong this time but I want to be prepared!

sounds very like my first delivery (although ended in section) I've decided to hire a doula this time round, and hope that will help

Have you thought about hypnobirthing? or a water birth?

A doula is a great idea too.

Good luck x

Have you looked into Hypnobirthing or any other form of hypnotherapy for use in childbirth? It might sound like hippy rubbish but it's really not, just a method of keeping calm and dealing with contractions using breathing and relaxation. It also trains your mind into believing in your body's ability to give birth, and teaches techniques to help you cope if things don't go to plan.

I really recommend it. I was calm and quiet throughout my whole labour and felt very little discomfort - despite having to lie flat at the end to keep the baby's heartbeat stable (the cord was around his neck but all was fine).

I tried hypnobirthing last time and really listened to the CDs religiously so I'm kind of cynical about it this time... I am going to listen to the CDs again though just in case it helps, thanks. Maybe I could try hypnotherapy - do you think it's too late at 37 weeks. I was thinking of seeing a reflexologist, do you think a hypnotherapist would be more beneficial?

I would second a doula - someone you can talk to in advance about your worries, who you will get to know and trust, who can suggest strategies in advance, who can reassure you in labour, find ways for you to cope, is practised in relaxing women in labour and can help you negotiate for the kind of care that won't make you feel stressed. Let me know if you want me to help you find someone in your area.

If I had another person present it would be my close friend to be honest and DH wants it to just be the two of us for the birth which is fair enough I guess.

(plus the baby of course!!)

Personally, I was petrified leading up to the birth of my DC2 as I'd been through a birth trauma with my first (I was going for a vbac as well). I thought labour would be massively stressful but actually, once things kicked off, I was so busy focusing on managing the pain of the contractions, I didn't worry for a second about how things were going. They're right that second deliveries can be much quicker/more straightforward. Fingers crossed for you.

Thanks Maxpower! I have a reflexology appt in the morning (much cheaper than the hypno!) and she said is happy to split time between reflexology on feet and general massage techniques to show DH so will see how that goes, then decide on hypno (she thinks min 2 x 2h sessions at £80 a time for hypo)

Anyone else? Particularly things DH can say/ do?

I walked around a lot and that really helped as it felt like I was doing something. I also screamed at the top of my voice which bizarrely also helped. I just decided that I wasn't going to bother with anyone around me and just do exactly what I wanted to do and I think that kept me really calm. When I was too hot I stripped and I just went with everything my body was telling me. I think it's as soon as you try to guard yourself from the pain and make it stop that you start to tense up and it all gets worse. If you say to yourself yes it is painful and there's nothing I can do with it and sort of plough into it full tilt (if that makes any sense at all lol) then it becomes so much more manageable. The attitude I had was that it was definitely going to end at some stage so I just had to wade through it.

As for your DH it totally depends on what you're like in labour, which is different for everyone. I completely ignored my DH apart from asking for a drink now and again and he kept away from me which suited me fine. The only good advice for him would be for him to pay close attention to how you are and to try to judge himself what you might want. Don't be interfering and don't say stupid things like "it's not that bad." It would be a good idea to let him know how you feel about different things - vaginal exams, intervention etc - so you can rely on him to be your voice when you're too out of it to sort things out yourself. Then you don't have to worry about making decisions.

From what you say about your first birth it sounds like you were stressed because things were out of your control. This time it might help to take control yourself, don't wait to be told things by the midwife and don't ask permission for things just do what you want to do. I found that the midwife actually appreciated when I did that as it took the pressure off her and also I didn't have someone fussing around me which would have driven me nuts.

Thanks Writer, that's a good point re it's going to end at some stage - something to definitely keep in mind!

It helped me to think about the good stuff in the future that was coming e.g. DD becoming a big sister, introducing baby to family and their excitement, holding a sleeping baby. I had a longish labour both times so I worked my way right up to DCs getting married and having children of their own . Made me remember that labour isn't very long in the scheme of things and you get lots of good stuff afterwards.

I also made sure that my body was relaxed and my jaw wasn't tensed during contractions. I had a TENs machine that helped-when I tried it out before birth it gave me a euphoric and relaxed feeling and I tried to remember and hold on to that feeling during labour when I had it on. When a contraction hit I tried visualising it as a big wave building and concentrated on my breathing as if my breathing was pushing the wave back down again.

DH was given strict instructions and when I went into labour he was a very good advocate, turning off lights as soon as midwives had finished (I wanted to give birth in half-light)and answering questions for me. He also used his techy skills to set up a very good music playlist for me- I only included songs with happy memories, however odd they were so we had things like Ghostbusters and lots of 80's cheese -anything that was going to make me smile and take my mind off things. Second time around I was much more opinionated and I did what felt right for me.

I was very nervous about birth of dc2, but someone on here mentioned reading Ina May Gaskins guide to childbirth.

So managed to get that out the library. And tbh, skipped most of the birth stories and went to her general comments/experience/advice.

Much like ORANGEMARZIPAN's post, it gives you tips on relaxing and breathing through contractions and believing in your body's ability to do childbirth.

i was still quite skeptical after i had read it. But when i went into labour i kept telling myself things that i read in the book (i.e. horsey lips, relaxing shoulders) and i think it helped enormously.
i was less tense, managed my contractions better and the whole birth was a lot quicker. dc2 born with only g&a and no intervention.

not saying it will work for everyone, but helped me and cost me nothing.

Goodluck!

Oh yes, definitely second Ina May. Also M. Odent's Birth Reborn

Thanks all. I found in the first labour that it helped to bite down on a flannel, but this sounds like it is counter-productive from the above? (3 flannels packed in hospital bag!)

water(birth) helped calm me down loads.

I hope to go in the water early on but can't have a water birth due to loss of blood last time. Depends if the midwife will let me go in at all - im strep b.

Honeymoonmummy , I was strep b positive too. Although I have a history of quick labours so the IV antibiotics was out of the question for me anyway...

That's what I meant, the water helped calm me down a lot in labour, but not so much when the actual birth happened, so I'm sure it will do the trick for you too

I'm going to bump this in case anyone else has any other tips. I've been going to reflexology and listening to my hypnobirthing CD and have gone back to my PG yoga class which fell by the wayside as I was "too busy". I'm 39 weeks tomorrow and am feeling more chilled out than I was.

I'd recommend Natal Hypnotherapy - it helped me through my failed induction (6 days of early labour) and then CS with issues getting the spinal in. I chose it over hypnobirthing in the first place as I felt it was more flexible (I really wanted a natural birth but as I had OC, I knew I wasn't going to get the birth I wanted whatever). As you're 39 weeks, stick with what you're doing though.

Getting your birth partner on board with being arsey firm about your wishes would be good too. In retrospect, I wish I and DH had been far firmer with staff - e.g. insisting on trying the CTG on my ball not on my back (some MWs supported this and it worked great, others refused to try it - I wish now I'd refused to let them do it without trying the way I wanted!) and insisting on a consultant coming to see me when decisions had to be made (I didn't see my consultant once and still don't know why what happened happened, plus each registrar I saw gave a different opinion - I'm now going to a debrief with my consultant this week to get her opinion!).

Yes it's the Natal Hypnotherapy one I have got, thanks [1,2,3 relax!!]

That was exactly what started me stressing out in the first place Japhrimel, the MW's telling me I had to lie on my back to get a heartbeat and if I couldn't do it "they'd have to put a clip on the baby's head" like this was a really bad thing. She ended up having the clip anyway and being a forceps delivery, not a scratch on her from the clip and just a bit swollen from the forceps which were far worse!! DH knows this time that I am absolutely not going on my back under any circumstances (until later on when I'm pushing of course!)

Good luck with your consultant, I said I wanted to see a consultant in my first booking in appt, I saw a woman who had not read my notes and I ended up recapping in 30 seconds what had happened - I thought I'd had pre-eclampsia so that's what I told her. It's only when I requested and got a proper debrief with a midwife who actually read my notes and then sat down with me and answered all my questions that I found out it was high BP - I'm sure this would not have been picked up otherwise and pre-eclampsia is unlikely to happen in second labour whereas BP is conversely quite likely!!!

Biting during during labour always did it for me. I have always heard (and seen the movies) people biting on something before doing something very painful. I thought it was just so that they don't bite their tongue. Well that is half true. Biting down actually focuses energy in the body so the muscles in your body are a lot more relaxed.

One of the most empowering actions and stress relieving, was refusing all internals and really trying to feel and listen to my own body, telling people around me what I needed, what I felt and what I was going to do.

I had a doula too to act as a buffer and keep people away unless essential.

Not sure why you can't have a waterbirth though. I hada pph with my first and insisted on a waterbirth for y second and third and got them.