C Section Information -Real Life xperiences

[Chynah]

After getting more and more annoyed by the amount of misinformation and scare tales surrounding C-sections I really feel the need to start this thread in order that others who either have to have, or chose to have, C Sections for whatever reason can read the real life experience from those who have been there and done it and make their own decisions.

Please no trying to talk of VBAC or for first timers 'giving it a go' - this is not a place for annecdotes of someones sister or cousins experience this is for first hand experiences only (good & bad) so people can read and make their own minds up.

Be helpful if you could include (obviously up to you):

Elective or emergency (I do believe it makes a difference. (NHS or Private)GA or Spinal

Why - if not personal.

time in hospital.

Could you lift/change baby etc

Recovery time -ie lifting toddlers - driving.

Infections - if any

How long back to normal (housework,exercising etc)

Whilst I appreciate a C Section is major surgery I also consider it a valid choice. This thread is not here to justify that chic but ONLY to provide real life information from those wo have been there to those who are going there.

Hope this is helful to some.

marking my spot and will contribute post section on Tues - well done Chynah for taking much needed and hopefully helpful action

Well I'll start then shall I

My first ELCS was by choice (no medical reason)

I had him at 39 weeks and pent 3 nights in hospital mainly due to his latch problems.

Lovely scar (often commented on) - no infections.

Fast recovery - back driving within 2 weeks (would have been sooner but hubby at home to chauffer).

Did normal housework but was very careful with lifting. By week 2/3 back to normal.

Did m first post pregnancy/birth run at 5 weeks (3 miles) felt fab!)

And back to normal in the bedroom with hubby (so to speak) by week 2!

#2 by choice (no medical reason other than previous)

I had her at 39 weeks and spent 2 nights in hospital.

Another lovely scar (instead of previous one!) - no infections but did have an internal infection treated by antibiotics (no pain).

Fast recovery - back driving within 1 weeks plus liftin 15 month old with no problems. No home support as hubby went back to work at 5 days post section - no problem).

Did normal housework..

Did m first post pregnancy/birth run at 5+1 weeks (3 miles) felt fab!)

And back to normal in the bedroom with hubby (so to speak) by week 2! Again!!

Have to say I had no real pain with either either during or after.

And I breastfed both.

Ok, I had a induction with normal delivery for ds. For dd had a failed induction and ecs as the induction was causing her distress.
The ecs was with an epidural and was amazing as I got to see her before she was whisked off to SCBU.
I spent 3 days post op in hospital because my preclampsia was poorly controlled.
I had to lift a toddler within a week as my dh was back at work and was driving after 10 days after a battle with my gps. 2 said no, but the senior partner took the time to examine me ask the appropriate questions and discovered yes I was perfectly able to drive and ffs wouldn't have asked if I though it was inappropriate.
The worst bit was the 3 days in hospital I found it almost impossible to get out of the hospital bed to get to the loo and the staff are not allowed to assist you. It would take me 20 minutes to get up. I was fine once on my feet.
No infections and really quick recovery but I was very determined that I would get better fast as dd in SCBU and ds needed me.

Okeydoke, well I had a v v positive ELCS after a v v horrible experience delivery vaginally with my first - will try to answer all the questions:

• Elective

• Spinal

• NHS

• V traumatic first delivery for both me and baby. Would basically never, ever consent to another instrumentl delivery again so ELCS was pretty much the only thing that could guarantee a repeat of first time round.

• Time in hospital - baby delivered at 12 noon Tuesday, discharged 12 noon Thursday.

• Could you lift/change baby? Yep - got her in and out of the cot pretty much on my own except for in recovery. Didn't need much (any?) help lifting her after that, was pretty much independent from going onto the ward about 8PM.

• Recovery time - drove at 3.5 weeks, could have done sooner if need be but my Mum was there that week so didn't. Ditto lifting toddler. Felt fine to do both after 2 weeks but put it off as I had help so didn't need to.

Infections - had an tiny infection in one corner where the stitches hadn't dissolved. Got a course of antibiotics as soon as I noticed it and it was gone within a few days.

How long back to normal - totally back to normal by 4 weeks I would say. Was mobile almost from the start though just tried to take it easy a bit but didn't stop me getting out and about - went out for lunch with in-laws 4 days after ELCS, went to outdoor fun day the day after that. Walking round town 6 days past ELCS.

Very good idea:

DS: Emergency C-Section at St Thomas' (NHS) following very long labour with brow presentation baby who was back-to-back.

Epidural already in. All over very quickly.

In hospital for two nights. Needed help lifting DS out of his Moses Basket for feeds for the first week or so, but breast-fed very successfully for 9 months.

Was out and about after 6 days. Had a slight infection, but scar healed nicely and was barely visible. Struggled a bit with housework and so on, but think this was more to do with the exhaustion of being very overdue and in labour for 4 days.

DD: Elective Section (couldn't face another 'natural' labour - DS born with large haemotoma and lots of associated trauma from his labour), also at St Thomas' (NHS).

Spinal - was very calm and lovely - a world apart from DS' birth.

In hospital again for two nights. Recovery was much quicker this time round, could feed her with no assistance from the off.

Was out and about after about 4 days. 3 weeks post-section now and everything is healed with no discomfort - scar looking good (they cut through the old scar and 'neatened' up a little). I'm able to lift my very heavy 22 month old and was lifting him from about 1 week post-section. Back to normal with housework and lifting. Am not a driver, so can't contribute in that sense.

Okay here's me...
First time Mum induced at 40+10... ended up being an Emergency C section. It took 20 minutes... I vomited in my hair because my blood pressure dropped but the lovely anaesthetist sorted me out and then tried to clean my hair for me. I had the shakes for 2 hours afterwards and struggled to hold my DS... We didn't get skin to skin. I managed to breastfeed him once the shaking had stopped.
I left hospital after 36 hours, 2 nights (too early IMO),
Scar is small and quite discrete, no infection.

Recovery I would say 3 weeks.
If I'm lucky to have another baby in the future I will have an elective C section... I couldn't be induced again, I just couldn't... No VBAC fir me!

Elective or emergency - Elective

Why - breech baby and advised to by the consulatant

Spinal

NHS hospital

time in hospital. 4 days

Could you lift/change baby etc - not for the first 12 hours but the baby was brought to me.

Recovery time -ie lifting toddlers - none, I literally had no pain.

Infections - no, nice neat scar that is very hard to see.

How long back to normal - I loaded the dishwasher half an hour after getting home.

Forgot to say... Spinal and NHS.

DS was em CS at 37 weeks. I laboured at home for as long as possible, and was practically whipped into theatre as soon as i got to hospital. My birth plan said, in bold capitals, I REALLY DO NOT WANT A C SECTION UNLESS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. In this case I genuinely believe it was absolutely necessary.

Elective or emergency (I do believe it makes a difference. (NHS or Private)GA or Spinal
Emergency, NHS, spinal

Why - if not personal.
Undiagnosed footling breech, feet stuck in birth canal, had to be pushed back into position for CS.

time in hospital.
3 days for me, but then he was poorly, so a week all in all

Could you lift/change baby etc
Yes

Recovery time -ie lifting toddlers - driving.
Driving at 4 weeks, restriction mainly down to car insurers

Infections - if any
No

How long back to normal (housework,exercising etc)
I walked a mile after a week, 3 miles after 2 weeks; swimming at 6 weeks, running at 11 weeks.

Other info - I did a lot of swimming, walking and pilates when I was pg and I really believe that that is what helped me recover quickly. I also had a marvellous (lady) surgeon, who left a very neat scar. I seemed to recover a lot more quickly thatsoem of my friends who had VBs.

On the downside, I barely produced any bm, and what little I had dried up after a week. Despite my desire and much work by MWs and BF counsellors BF didn't really happen for us. Infant feeding support lady said that this could be down to shock of CS, but as likely to be down to DS being a little early. Or a combo of the two.

Oh, what a good idea, this thread

I had an emCS under spinal with DS2 at 31 weeks due to Grade 4 placenta praevia under the NHS.

Spinal was fine, having it sited was no problem. I did find it very odd to feel like a log of wood from below my breast down though and also dropped my blood pressure a fair bit which made me feel horrible. Had the whole shaking uncontrollably thing going on.
Getting bubs out felt like somebody rummaging inside me like in an oversized handbag .
Getting stitched up took faaaaar longer than delivering DS2.
My DH was allowed into theatre and did a grand job at handholding. He was also able to go with DS to SCBU.

I was in pain for 24 hours, but really disliked how morphine made me feel so made do with Paracetamol/Voltarol. Pain settled to discomfort after 2-3 days. I did not have a chance to lift DS for a couple of weeks so by the time he was allowed out of his incubator I was fine (and he was very light anyway...). However I had a 1 year old to look after and I had to be careful to only hold him on my lap while sitting down and not lifting him.
The scar was painfree after 3 weeks or so but felt really odd and slightly numb for months. I still have a rather horrid 'overhang' as the scar was not sited in the natural skinfold I have at the bikini line. Minor nuisance only, but every now and then I think about having it corrected .

I had no infections, drove again after 3 weeks (you are allowed to drive as soon as you can do an emergency stop, ie stomp on the floor really hard without being sore, and you can turn around btw; some insurance companies have different rules however, so beware!), same for housework. Bleeding settled quicker than after previous vaginal delivery. I was in hospital for 10 days, I think more in view of how unwell DS was initially and to protect me from having to look after abovementioned toddler rather than clinical need. I was expressing BM twohundrend times a day (or so it seemed..) so was grateful for that.

Overall it was not a terrible experience at all and ensured that DS2 was ok at the end of the day .

1st pg, planned homebirth on the NHS, waters went, no labour so was induced after 3 days. Failed to progress so after 18 hours went for cs with spinal.

time in hospital. 3 or 4 nights ? can't remember

Could you lift/change baby - on about day 2/3 (after catheta was removed)

Recovery time -ie lifting toddlers ? driving. No toddlers, but felt pretty ropey. Remember walking in the park doubled up after 10 days.

Infections - if any. No infection but horrible lumpy scar.

How long back to normal (housework,exercising etc) Functioning normally within weeks but still experienced pain in the scar area after 10 months.

Not a pleasant experience, way outside of my comfort zone BUT dd (now 8) was fully bf (ie a cs needn't preclude that) and is robust and healthy (touch wood). This all happened in a failing London hospital, but I will never forget the team that handled my care that night. They were really marvellous. The labour didn't progress for whatever reason, I could put it down to over-zealous medical intervention, but I could also say well it just wasn't to be and dd was simply stuck ("brow presentation" strikes a chord); in the end I just wanted her out and safe with me.

Also - MWs made me walk across the ward after 23 hrs 59 mins (I remember arguing for the last minute in bed!). Once I was confident that I could walk, I did and pottered round the ward. Could lift baby etc. Never needed to take any of the paracetomol they kept giving me, but took arnica.

Oh yes, pain relief - morphine made me vomit so I stuck to a cocktail of homeopathy during the day and had painkillers at night. Did the trick.

I had an em cs with a spinal in an NHS hospital.

Had laboured for 2 days and pushed for 6 hours. No baby. She was in a ridiculous position, trying to come out ear first.

Discharged after 12 hours.

Needed no pain killers at all.

Physically fine quite quickly.

No infections or problems.

Bfed successfully.

Emotionally it has been very traumatic indeed. I still have ptsd. Nothing to do with the cs in terms of practicalities. The cs was physically easy.

My 1st labour ended up in an emergency c-sect after a very long labour that had to be speeded up via a drip due to ineffective contractions due to an OP baby who was also very large at 9lb 11.5ozs.

I also had an epidural which on hindsight did nothing to help the labour progress and didn't even work anyway.

I had the operation through a spinal anaesthetic after I had reached 9cms. It was NHS all the way.

I was in hospital from wednesday evening, when labour started, baby born on friday afternoon and I left on tuesday evening having had to stay in an extra day to baby being slightly jaundiced. So 6 days in total.

Baby was in a cot attached to the side of the bed which was great but could have done with being a bit nearer the top of the bed as I still had to twist to reach him. I could deal with him as soon as I got the feeling back in my legs. The staff were great, attentive and supportive. I couldn't fault them.

Pain killers were very effective, so much so I thought I didn't need any so refused a few doses then felt quite sore so went back on them.

Next time around I want a 'natural' birth.

I was sore for a few weeks afterwards but didn't have to do much lifting as he was my 1st baby and I had lots of help. My scar took a long time to heal though as the surgeon hadn't pulled in enough skin to form a proper seal so I had a bit of unsealed scar that just refused to close and this went on for months! No infections in the scar but I had to take antibiotics for a uterine infection.

Scar is now neat and has faded somewhat but have an annoying overhang of skin which I'm not sure is to do with the operation or just saggy, loose skin.

Elective or emergency (I do believe it makes a difference. (NHS or Private)GA or Spinal

Baby #1 - crash c/s under GA. NHS.
Baby #2 - elective c/s with spinal. NHS.

Why - if not personal.

Baby #1 - dd's heartbit dipped to 58 bpm and there was probably cord compression or prolapsed cord.
Baby #2 - hoping to avoid repeat of traumatic birth above.

time in hospital.

Baby #1 - 6 days, but dd needed to stay in, not me. Think I could have left after 4 days.

Baby #2 - 4 days.

Could you lift/change baby etc

Yes - after 24/36 hours

Recovery time -ie lifting toddlers - driving

Bit hazy, but both times I recovered physically sooner than I expected. I took dd to a birthday party 5 days after I'd had ds.

Infections - if any

None.

Finally - my birth story has a forum!

I had an elective c-section 8 months ago. I have never had any inclination to give birth vaginally. I know umpteen women who had emergency C-sections and didn't think I would be the one to have a successful vaginal birth. I'm not squeamish about pain or blood etc - I wanted to avoid having an emergency C-section or a complicated, drawn out, risky, vaginal delivery.

Why did I think vaginal birth could be complicated? My DS never engaged -he stayed in a diagonal position, though my consultant didn't think that ruled out vaginal birth. Also I'm very petite and my husband is quite big/tall so I expected the baby would be on the bigger side. Above all, I didn't want things to 'go wrong' during labour, for myself or the baby.

The risks associated with emergency C-sections are greater than elective C-sections. That had a huge bearing on my decision.

The operation was a breeze. Under an hour, no pain (some discomfort when the spinal block went in), totally lucid throughout and a glorious experience. Had music playing, my husband beside me and a fantastic surprise when the consultant held up my beautiful son.

Recovery was harder. I had minimal pain relief post surgery (pretty much just panadol) as I'm not able to tolerate many drugs - I wasn't in pain though I found moving around quite hard. The nurses push you to get up and move about quickly and this helps recovery. Had I been able to take the drugs on offer I think I would have been much better off.

Breastfeeding is tricky when you're trying to guard your tummy. I needed lots of pillows and could only feed sitting up in bed. The pressure of the baby on your tummy isn't painful but certainly uncomfortable.

I spent 4 nights in hosp. It was really only on the day I went home that I was freely handling the baby (picking him up from the crib etc), but it took a lot longer before I was my old self. I walked around pretty hunched over for a good week. I didn't need any pain relief once at home, amazing when you think about how invasive the surgery is.

I had no infections, my scar is fading - soon you won't see it & for what it's worth I didn't get that roll of fat above the scar that some women find they're left with.

It wasn't easy by any means, but it was the right way to go for me. I had my share of judgemental comments from other women while I was pregnant. I put this down to jealousy (there, I said it) and ignorance. I'm glad I didn't let it affect my choice.

1st Baby - NHS hospital:

Almost emergency - booked in for section at 40 weeks but went into labour that day. Was 7cm when at hospital gas and air - preped me for theatre - spinal block. Baby born - large 10lb 14oz at teatime.

Tme in hospital -4 nights - on 4 bed ward

Could you lift/change baby etc - tldto stay in bed for 24 hours - baby was taken to nursery for evening but back for breakfast. Was put in shower 1.5 days after birht, was given help to feed baby but ogt less and less the longer I was there. Lots of help from oher mums on ward who had natural births - we all helped each other.

Recovery time -ie lifting toddlers - none, 1st baby and had lots of help at home

Infections - none

How long back to normal - 4 weeks before felt normal again; drove ater 5.5 weeks.

2nd Baby:

Elective or emergency - Elective due to large 1st baby and gestational diabetes

Booked into different NHS hospital (1st one was now closed) and had spinal

time in hospital - 3 nights - baby spent 26 hours in SCBU as had low blood sugars - was hell for me but could rest.

Could you lift/change baby etc - next morning (les than 12 hours after birth) had shower and then was free moving from then onwards. Once baby back from SCBU I was able to feed and change him - took my time.

Recovery time -ie lifting toddlers - had minimal pain after first day - thought I was full of wind but was after pains! No toddlers to lift as 5 year gap - eldest in school all day so was like having a first born.

Infections - no, nice neat scar that is very hard to see.

How long back to normal - I felt human again about 2 weeks later but took time to get back up to full rate!

This thread is an excellent idea. There is so much misinformation out there about c-sections. And I believe the lack of accurate information contributed to PND in women who had their hearts set on natural birth and ended up in an emergency section.

DD was an emergency (crash) section in 2003.

DS1 was a nice peaceful planned section in 2005

And DS2 is booked in for delivery by sunroof on 16th Dec.

I remember a fair amount of painkillers for a few days and then painful to sit up or roll over. But after a couple of weeks was back on my feet and driving.

All three were/will be NHS.

Planned section due to placenta previa (but I really wanted one anyway)

Had it under a spinal block at The Portland Hospital, so private, at 38+5.

Had absolutly no infections, nothing. Had staples, not stitches, which I didn't like as I think I had a bit of a reaction to the nickel and they itched like mad. That was the only discomfort. And I should have shaved the day of the surgery, not a few days before, to avoid stubble on my staples! I won't be making that mistake again!

Had a spinal, not epidural as was on clexane and should have stopped the dose a day earlier, so a spinal has less chance of allowing spinal bleeding. Was then topped up with enough opiates to stun Bez and Shaun. Lovely stuff.

The whole experience was very calm (I was terrified but the lovely anaesthetist put some stuff in my drip to take the edge off my nerves.) and it was the best and happiest experience of my life. My son was wedged in at a funny angle so they used forceps to get him out so he had a little red mark on his head which disappeared about a day later.

I was a bit worried it would be impersonal but my fab husband sat near my head and whispered lovely visualisations to me, and then shouted "he's coming out!" He was all lovely and pink and shouty, and we had a cuddle as they put me back together.

I had LOADS of colostrum - I thought my milk had come in but it was 'just' colostrum, so when my actual milk came in, I thought my tits were going to blow off! We got established very quick despite a crap latch on one side and having to send milk to SCBU - I breastfed for a year, and exclusively for 7 months.
I expressed via a huge double pump as he was in SCBU for a couple of nights cos of grunty breathing. We were in hospital for 5 nights, and I stayed an extra night as a 'lodger' as the baby stayed in an extra night.

I was careful not to push myself at all for the first few weeks and didn't attempt to drive/hoover/lift for a good 4 weeks. I probably could have done more, but I thought I may as well do as I'm told, rather than try and be a hero and regret it.

My scar took about 3 weeks to heal I think - it was miles better once the staples were out, and it's disappeared into my bikini line!

I have never had any inclination to give birth vaginally and this time I've had a c section recommended anyway, which I'm pleased about.

Slightly concerned now reading this thread, I had an emergency section as ds was breach. Had an epidural, which was bizarre, I remember when lay down someone placed on elephant leg in front of me then I realised it was my leg, which looked slightly grey and swollen! Didn't look like my legs at all.
DH was generally horrified by the whole scene and spent the whole time saying sorry for putting me through it!
In hospital for 4 days, no infections.
Was up and about after 24 hours, but didn't drive for 4 weeks, mainly due to insurance.
But had pings and twinges for months afterwards and numbness for a couple of years. It was over four years ago and it's still a bit numb I wouldn't say it was back to normal and wouldn't want to do it again.

I had an emergency c-section, NHS hospital.
My waters had broken but no labour, was induced but little progress, was offered an epidural which I accepted (was really fed up and very tearful by then) which was topped up for the section.
I recall pretty much going on at home as usual, some light lifting, inc baby from day one probably.
In hospital 3 days I think. I'd had a LOT of drugs so my memory is slightly hazy.
Was rather worried by laughing though - DP said something very funny on way home from hospital and I remember literally holding myself as I laughed in fear of falling apart.
I did get a slight infection, probably from lifting and not resting enough, but it wasn't painful and was easily treated with a brief course of antibiotics.
Scar very discrete.
Not a bad experience at all.

DC1 - crash c-section after failed induction and PE. Spinal. Up and about within a few hours, able to lift baby from cot etc fairly immediately, quick recovery (don't drive so can't give a time-line). Lovely discrete scar.

DC2 - elective section - GD. Spinal. Spectacular PPH after birth, intensive care for me plus major blood transfusion. Slower recovery then re-hospitalised with internal infection for 10 days - proper sick, loads of antibiotics, complete space-cadet and unable to care for newborn so was separated from her for those ten days. Horrific enormous scar - not pretty.

Not sure why the planned section was more of a mess than the emergency crash section - just bad luck. (NB - I'm very pro c-section esp after horrific previous delivery - just trying to give both sides! Would still have another section if I got pg again).

Good idea. The view from the other side though, unfortunately. I equally find it annoying when caesareans are dismissed as a picnic and 'routine'. In my experience they can be very far removed from that.

Elective or emergency (I do believe it makes a difference. (NHS or Private)GA or Spinal

Twins - emergency under GA. NHS consultant delivery & private postnatal

Why - if not personal
Had placenta praevia so section inevitable as placenta covering cervix and i kept having bleeds. Emergency section after massive bleed in middle of the night.
Gen Anaesthetic used after failure of epidural (they pushed the needle in too far & punctured my dural membrane) and my spinal didn't take and I could feel them cutting. Violent, traumatic and I missed the birth of my twins. NHS consultant delivery but private postnatal care.

Time in Hospital

• 6 days. I wanted to leave (been there for five long weeks bleeding on bedrest) but babies premmie and tube fed.

Could you lift/change baby etc

Not easily although I had to try as I had two babies to care for. By day 4 I was okay. Before that I could barely move (walking to my loo 2 metres away really hurt).

Recovery time -ie lifting toddlers - driving
I got a haematoma behind my scar - a massive build up of blood - so it split open at one end 8 days after my op and leaked blood for six weeks. They also used caesarean forceps on me during the op and badly bruised my pubic bone (couldn't lie on my front without pain for a year) and also left me with another haematoma there. I was still struggling with my stairs at 3 weeks but suddenly recovered almost overnight at 4 weeks. Couldn't drive for 7 as it was still too tender. Ran again (4 miles) 11 weeks post op which was painful as I've been left with adhesions from the haematoma which pulled and ached.

I think mine is the bad end. Rare, but it does happen and not everyone is out building a treehouse on day 3.

Infections - if any

None.

Elective or emergency Elective

NHS or Private NHS

GA or Spinal Spinal

Why had 3rd and 2nd degree tears with first two births and some continence issues, had no wish to experience any further tearing.

time in hospital 8 days - 4 in postnatal, 4 in SCBU

Could you lift/change baby etc ds was in SCBU within 4 hours of being born and we weren't able to hold him for 48 hours, I shaking and vomiting after section, so no skin to skin.

Recovery time -ie lifting toddlers - driving I had section 14 weeks ago, and scar still hurts if I were to pick up my 3 year old, I don't drive, but struggled with pushing buggy for 6 weeks.

Infections Phlebitis (infected, inflamed veins) and infection in scar at 5 weeks, swollen, hot and itchy at one end, felt pretty dreadful, but had mastitis at same time, which didn't help!

How long back to normal (housework,exercising etc) I have just been given the all clear to go back to pilates, didn't feel comfortable hoovering, lifting, walking far etc for 6-8 weeks.

My scar is pretty ugly, on a diagonal (section was done with bed on a big tilt, because of low bp), I have only just got used to the idea of massaging it - with the help of the physio, but I am pretty freaked out by it still. It still feels very numb, and sometimes itchy. The op itself started ok, but my bp was very low, and I lost a lot of blood, I was very shaky and vomiting - this continued for the rest of the day,and I was unable to eat until the day after my section. I am allergic to aspirin so was unable to have the usual painkillers and had max strength codeine and morphine whilst I was on postnatal. I had severe chest pains after op, and had to have an ecg, but dr thought it was caused by panic. Suffered horrendous trapped gas which was agony! I couldn't walk for 2 days, and couldn't stand up properly to take a shower for 4.

I think this is a great idea for a thread, I really had only heard positive elective csection stories before I had ds. I would hate to think that anything that I have said since about c-sections would be seen as a 'scare story'. I wish that I had read a story like kitstwins before I had had my section - not that I would have changed my mind about having one, but because then, when I felt like I had been sawn in half for 8 weeks afterwards I wouldn't have felt quite so bad about it.

There is also an element that is often forgotten about in discussions about elective sections - ie the effect on the baby. Ds was born at 39 weeks, when he was born, he didn't scream and had a significant grunt. His blood sugar was very low and he couldn't feed-either from me or a bottle. Within 4 hours of being born he was in an incubator on cpap, because he was struggling to breathe for himself. The consultant said that he had respiratory distress syndrome, jaundice and a heart murmur, she also said that despite being a big boy (8lb 9oz) he showed signs of prematurity, and that some section babies are just really 'not ready to be born'. That phrase has stuck with me over the past 14 weeks, and brings tears to my eyes now, I have a recurring dream of him being curled up inside me, then lifted out into a world he wasn't ready for.

Ds was in scbu for 8 days in all, I was able to stay with him, but it was very hard, I had to push his heavy crib around the ward, despite having just had a section and having one leg the size of a tree trunk (due to phlebitis). He was tube fed as he had no desire to suck, we managed to establish breastfeeding, but he lost 13% of his birth weight. Breastfeeding stopped at 6 weeks, because I became ill with infections and thrush, and ds continued to lose weight.

He will be monitored for his chest and because he has bad reflux, but otherwise is lovely and his rare smiles melt my heart. I'm sorry if this all sounds dramatic, but this has been such a difficult time and it is only now that I am starting to get my head round it all.