Hi Pixiecake -
My reply might be a bit hasty - I did indeed have my CS recently, and so I now have a lively demanding beautiful 10 week old DS to look after!
In no particular order - I actually had a very supportive MW, and consultant - the consultant rang up to book in my CS herself, and so I didn't have to offer an account of why it was necessary. I had seen a perinatal psychiatrist in order to be recommended to the consultant for a CS, so I may have gone down a slightly different route to you.
I had a closed letter on my notes from the psychiatrist, which gave a brief history of my problems (previous abuse/depression/birth phobia), so that if any HCP really needed or wanted to know more about the background to my CS, I could simply refer them to that letter, and not go through difficult conversations again.
(Closed letter just means it couldn't be read by anyone 'browsing', but was part of my records if needed. I thought that was a very sensitive way of dealing with it all).
However, I did have to deal several times with 'why are you having a CS?/what's the reason for your CS?' from MWs and nurses. To be fair, I think they were asking in case there was a physical medical problem (high blood pressure/diabetes etc), which they needed to be aware of.
When asked, I said that the consultant had recommended it on mental health grounds, and that this was a decision I was happy with. Only one person pushed for more details, as far as I remember - and I said it was due to previous trauma, and there was a letter on my file if they needed more details (they didn't open it). So that was my 'formal' answer. I imagine if pushed again, I would have said the decision had been made and signed off, and I didn't want to have unnecessary and distressing discussions about it.
I also had it recorded in my notes that if I went into labour before my CS date, I was to be given a CS - no 'trial of labour' or change of plan.
As it happens, my waters broke ten days early! so I did have my CS earlier than planned (DS was full term, just short of 39 full weeks). I never went into labour, thank god - just had premature waters breaking. I rang the hospital, told them, went in so they could monitor baby's heartbeat, which was fine, and then went back in the next day for my CS.
My MW had warned me that if I thought I was going into labour before the planned date, to get on the phone and go in asap. Not to wait and see if it really was labour, or let a MW on the phone put me off, tell me to have a hot bath, wait and see etc.
This is because if (and it would be unusual) I did go into labour early and it progressed very quickly, there was a very small chance that I would be too advanced for a CS to be carried out. This was a very very slim chance, btw - I found the idea terrifying, and I'm sure you do to.
I'm no expert, and I'm sure they do things differently everywhere - but it might be an idea to make an appt to talk to your consultant, or your MW, about your concerns (fear about what happens if you go into labour before CS date, anxiety about having to argue for it or explain your background).
It may be that they can add notes to your file such that you can refer MWs and HCPs to it, without needing to start a whole new and difficult conversation each time. I certainly found being able to refer people to my notes VERY helpful.
Have to go now, but I can try and answer more questions if you have them - in a nutshell, my CS was a great experience, and my recovery was/is very fast and pretty easy. My DS was born with an Apgar score of 9, we established breastfeeding very quickly and very well, and he is exclusively breastfed and healthy and quite porky! at 10 weeks.
Btw, if it helps, there are some excellent detailed and honest descriptions of elective C-sections here on the thread for women asking for CS's following traumatic births.
Best of luck, let me know if there's anything else you want to know and I'll do my best.