Note: Mumsnetters don't necessarily have the qualifications or experience to help if your child is feeling seriously distressed or suicidal, and Mumsnet can't be held responsible for any advice given on the site. If you and/or your child need help urgently, please see our mental health webguide which can point you to expert advice and support.

choosing a pyschotherapist for 9 yr old DD

(12 Posts)
thegovernor Mon 28-May-12 21:31:03

I've been recommended a very experienced pyschotherapist for my DD who has Non Verbal Learning Disorder (NLD) and is suffering from anxiety, low self esteem and struggles with social communication issues but the psychotherapist is male. My preference is definitely for a woman as I think my daughter will connect better with a woman but this male pyschotherapist is very senior and is highly recommended. Am I being silly? Do girls respond better to woman therapists?

blabalalalablabla Mon 28-May-12 21:39:04

I don't think gender would come into it - as adults it takes several 'goes' before finding a therapist that works regardless of the condition - and it could be male or female - it's more about their approach and how they relate to you and help you open up - I would suggest that the same would be for children.

I'd go for the recommended experienced psychotherapist as a starting point and see how she gets on at the assessment session and then take it from there.

Out of interest, why do you think your daughter would respond better to a female therapist?

Good luck.

thegovernor Mon 28-May-12 21:46:48

Thanks for your reply.

I think she'll respond better to a woman because apart from her father and grandpas most other influential adults in her life have been women up to this point - teachers, tutor, childminder, various health professionals.

Dollydowser Mon 28-May-12 21:52:11

Where abouts in the country are you? I can recommend one in the south east.

mumblechum1 Mon 28-May-12 21:53:33

But if she's having serious problems and is surrounded by women, maybe having a man around would be helpful?

thegovernor Mon 28-May-12 22:03:34

@dollydowser - I'm lucky I'm based in North London and seem to be surrounded by child pyschotherapists. My main problem is that my mother in laws best friend recommended this one and I feel slightly obliged. That said, she is a Psychotherapist herself and knows this chap professionally so probably knows what she's talking about.

@mumblechum1 - good point! However, if she's used to interacting mainly with female adults I think she'll be more comfortable and open up / trust a woman quicker and more instinctively. The men in her life are definitely far less important to her than the women.

PullUpAPew Mon 28-May-12 22:26:16

Hi, I would say stop pre-judging her feelings about a person she's never met. Find someone as qualified as possible and see if they are nice, take it from there. If she was a teen and maybe needing to talk about boys/sex/etc you would have a point but at nine I think its their skills that will be paramount.

mumblechum1 Mon 28-May-12 22:43:15

I'd give it a go, as Pullup says, you're pre-judging her response to someone she doesn't know.

Is it entirely healthy for a child of either sex to have relationships with only one gender? As 50% of the population is male, maybe there should be more of a mixture.

mumblechum1 Mon 28-May-12 22:44:10

Sorry, just noticed she presumably lives with her father so isn't in a female-only environment.

thegovernor Mon 28-May-12 22:50:38

Thanks for all of your comments.

I didn't expect everyone to agree with DH (he's feeling smug) but as there is a consensus I think I feel happier about having an initial consultation with this chap and to take it from there.

BTW - She does have male influences in the home: father and dog.

Dollydowser Mon 28-May-12 22:56:17

Thinking back to when I was that age, there is no way I'd have talked to a man. I have a vivid memory of visiting a male doctor which petrified me. You know your daughter best, go with your gut instinct.

mumblechum1 Mon 28-May-12 22:58:29

Hope it goes well and that she feels happier smile

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now