Can I get my DD 'signed off' school for depression/anxiety, and who by?

[MeanMom]

Not sure this is right section to post this, it is long and complicated, so TIA if you manage to get to the end.

My DD(13) has T1 diabetes, and cataracts both diagnosed around two years ago - at the same time both her grandads died. She started at all girl grammar school the following September and struggled to make friends partly because she felt different and partly because she IS different (ie more mature, has to be responsible for diabetes, poor eyesight means SEN)

She has been seeing the councillor at her Diabetes clinic every 3 months and she was pleased with her. DD even went to weekend residential trip with school last May - loved it; 'my friend this, my other friend did that etc'

Then our 19yr old cat died - it may be overstating to say he was like a sibling to her, but she was devastated and really misses him - she has 'talked' to him several times since he died, and he gives her advice.

Seemed to be coming to terms with it, tho had some bad days, mostly due to problems with her eyes. Saw friends several times in summer holidays. Then one day went out with friends and ended up going to local park she didn't know - I thought it was a shopping trip. She had a 'hypo' (low blood sugar) which normally she could deal with but all her friends carried on playing their ball game and (she felt) did not support her or appreciate that she was having a problem. Ever since this she has fallen to pieces. Would resist going to school as didn't feel safe there, didn't want to spend time with friends out of school -'haven't got any friends' - became that she didn't feel safe anywhere without me, even at home. Started minor self harm. At end Sept I asked for referal to CAHMS but Doc wanted her to try school councillor first. School suggested this - therefore had to be in school to get coucilling. Still struggled to Oct half term - during which we went to London and trip was difficult for her as her eye problem means she can't see steps well.

O dear this is going on too long - EWO involved because lack of attendance, finally got referal to CAMHS (by Diabetes clinic councellor) - we have first appointment next week.

I feel DD needs time off school without worrying about them sending me to prison(!) - she is off at the moment as she has chicken pox - not sure school believe it, but is true.

Can/will CAMHS give her a 'sick note'? Or should I ask Doctor? I don't think Dr very likely to do so- very much a 'go to school at all costs' person - and school very sceptical about her depression - they think she is refusing school - as does Doc - but she sometimes can't leave house at all without me - just school is where she has to go when she leaves.

This whole situation comlicated by struggling with her eyesight and getting right help at school - we are all exhausted by this as a family and need a break from constantly having to fight with her school

Sorry for length of post, and rambling. If anyone has any suggestions I would be very grateful .

[zzzzoey]

Hi MeanMom. what a difficult situation. I don't have clever ideas, but sending lots of sympathy. It sounds really tough for your daughter adjusting to diabetes and eyesight problems and being teenage all at once! no wonder it's a bit much.
I think as parent you are the one responsible for signing her off sick? Is there a head of year or someone responsible at school you can talk to about this, who might understand? might it be hard for her to go back if she takes a complete break? How about half-weeks at school or some compromise like that? much easier to go to school if coming home at lunchtime? are you home to look after her if she is at home, or would she be home alone? any way good luck and hope CAMHS are useful.

[bigdonna]

hi meanmom,my ds was off school alot with anxiety due to bullying .go to your dr explain how she feels,my ds has been in and out of school since yr 5,he now attends a referral centre for vunerable children 3 mornings a week.i never got prosecuted i met with the ewo and explained the situation they were ok about it.i just had to prove i was doing everything i could to get him into school.he had panic attacks going in stopped eating ,sleeping so i know where you are coming from.my ds also did not feel safe at school but very safe at home.the school he gos to has kids who suffer with anxiety,adhd,kids who have been bullied and medical reasons too.hope shes happier soon.at one point when he was 11 i home schooled him.good luck i really feel for your dd

[capedcrusader25]

Hi meanmom - I'm a child protection officer in a secondary school and deal a lot with CAMHS, EWO and any agency you can think of! Basically, yes you can. But only if CAMHS feel this is an accurate representation of your daughter's current situation. The supporting medical evidence will be supported by school and the school should also implement any support advised by CAMHS for your daughters return to school. We are extremely flexible and supportive in these situation (if I do say so myself :)) and I would hope other schools show the same kind of pastoral care. Good luck :)

[bizzyizzie]

Hi, I went through the same thing with my dd, she ended up not going to school, camhs were useless tbh. we went for a year. I wish I kept my dd off school, it was so traumatic for her, she had depression and they were treating her as if she was a rebelious teen. She is now diagnosed with BPD, and school traumatised her so much she ended up with ptsd and in hospital with it on and off. Look after your dd, dont always listen to school, they never looked into the route cause for my poor dd.
You wont go to prison, your dd is ill, just because you cant see it, she is still ill. Ask camhs about early intervention, nip it in bud, gosh I wish I knew then what i know now. Now my dd is 18, she wont go to therapy, she would of at 14, but they kept saying there was nothing wrong with her, how wrong they were. I nearly lost her last year. Shes bit better now.
Social services never helped me too. I said I will take them to court in the end because they werent supporting us. School also told me that no one has ever been taken to court for their child not going to school in my area.

[rachellovesherbabies]

Hi i could also use some help and advise about my 13 year old daughter she has been bullied since year 4 at junior school its got so much worse at secondary school after hearing people say vile things to her today while she was on the phone to me crying ive had enough and ive told them shes not coming back to the school and im awaiting a appointment with the headmistress i think ive tried my best to let the school deal with it but its not helping at all so im thinking of changing schools to one nearer so bus ride is not needed (i sent her to current school as they had a good record with bullying but she has to take school bus to get there a lot of the troubles happen on bus as its not supervised by an adult) i think she needs some time to heal as the last month has been absolute hell for her from getting hit into a wall and losing a tooth to recieving messages on her mob telling her to kill her self she has put up with so much im going to take her to the gp and im hoping he will help me by providing a sick note and makeing a referral to the mental health dept as shes very depressed and suffers with anxiety if they wont do this im thinking of homeschooling her just until the start of the new school year in september this is all new to me and i jeed some advise if im aloud to do this and will i be sent to prison for not sending her but i refuse to send her somewhere shes not safe any advice eould be great im new on here so please excuse if i put this in wrong place

[Moreisnnogedag]

Rachelle sorry didn't want to read and run. Start a new thread asking for advice - a lot of people won't read all thread replies so will probably miss you asking for help.