Not really sure where to put this, but here seems as good a place as any....
My parents are now in their 80's and over the years my Dad has cared alot for my Mum, when she had hips replaced etc. Recently tho it's been the other way around. He's been getting more vague & forgetful, had a cancer scare last year, and last month was almost hospitalized with c.difficile (diarrhea-causing superbug).
They have been with the same GP practice for 20plus years but the doctors there refuse to discuss one of them with the other, or with any of their children (there are 4 of us), due to Data Protection. They are both eager for this not to be the case and have asked on several occasions for their consent to be recorded, but no. They have both done living wills & lasting power of attorneys but apparently this is not enough. They have been told to "write a letter" to the GP stating their wishes, but the GP cannot advise as to the correct wording, but the letter must be "very precise" in order to be valid.
Why is there no standard form/template for this kind of situation? How do others manage?
My PIL went through this before FIL died - no-one was able to discuss his illness (dementia & cancer) with MIL, DH or SIL until he got so bad that he was hospitalized and judged incapable of making his own decisions. He died 2 months later. His last year(s) should have been so much easier - the whole family, including him, plus GP & SS should have been able to decide together, work together to help with taking medications. MIL & DH were sent away from the GP when they went to tell him that FIL was deteriorating.
My parents don't want to go through the same thing.
Anyone successfully written such a letter of consent to their GP? Any lawyers around?
How can we get this into something like a living will or organ donation form?
The Compassion in Dying people have done so much for dignity at the very end of life, but there's a long period before then when dignity & compassion are also lacking. Just because you're not actually "lacking capacity" doesn't mean that you don't need/wouldn't like some help from your partner &/or children.
(will also post in legal)
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4 replies
ZamMummyInGabs · 05/08/2011 11:58
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