I'm a single mum who's also recently had to take on caring for my elderly (and now dying) father. There isn't a Mumsnet topic on this yet, but I guess more and more of us are finding ourselves in this 'sandwich generation'. Is there anyone else out there?
I'm blogging about this too: Stuck in the Sandwich It's not always cheery reading, I admit, but there IS humour, honest! You might like to have a look at it if you're in a similar situation.
Wow Riveninside. My bro only lives 30 miles away, and he has started to come over sometimes. He's here tonight doing 'on call' for the first time so I can sleep.... (Maybe, I hope...) I think I'd feel v angry with him if he wasn't around at all. And as your child is severly disabled I guess s/he can't help you out at all either... At least I get the occasional bit of help from my boys. <share some of that valium, wouldya please?!
Yes, there used to be a topic called the Sandwich generation, but it wasn't very well used (possibly because a lot of people who might have used it didn't realise what the title meant) and it got dumped in one of the topic reshuffles.
We've been in this situation for a while, since DH's dad died and his mum had a stroke, he spends a lot of time at hers - he's there now, in fact. Also my dad is 101 and still lives on his own 200 miles from us and steadfastly refuses to come & live with us - so far he's doing very well with local support, but I get down there when I can.
Though for us it's luckily now more of an open sandwich as DS & DD have now both left university, though they are both still living with us they are more help than hindrance now.
That's interesting background about the topic RustyBear, thanks
And your dad is 101 - wow!
My dad lives on his own, too, but really that isn't very safe any more, now he's on morphine and an oxygen machine. He can't live with us because I live in a small terraced house which is build with just 1 or 2 rooms on each floor, and 2 storeys between the bathroom and kitchen, and he can't do stairs. He has 4-5 visits a day from social services, but I do worry about night-times particularly.
Hi, have two boys (5 and 11) and MIL (81 and frail) has just moved to live in sheltered housing near us. DS1 is off school because he has special needs and couldn't cope so I'm home educating him. He is starting secondary school in September. I am dealing with so much stuff to do with his special needs (appointments etc) that if feels like a full-time job.
This morning I have been trying to home educate him and also dealing with crazy stuff about new bank accounts for MIL on the phone. She is totally confused by it all, poor thing, and was further confused by the silly people asking her to fax them (as if an elderly woman would be able to gain access to a fax machine!). So now I have to go down into town to help her draft the letter, find somewhere that faxes letters, then get DS1 and me back home in time to collect DS2 from school at 3.
Rusty - Maybe the topic wasn't used because the sandwich generation were too busy to post!
Flow - I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. It must be a constant worry for you .
Yep, 2yo ds and 57 yo dad with progressibe neuro condition. Have been battling to get him some proper care, he has only just agreed but I dont hold up much hope of him actually letting the carers in. his hygene is now so poor i'd rather not have him in my house tbh but have to. dr reckons he should but ss seem keen to do the absolute minimum. I am on call all the time, meanwhile I'm stressed and not enjoying these precious years with ds. mum is divorced from dad, so only helps v occasionally. Have no siblings, I often wonder what would happen to dad if something happens to me. Slow disintigration into homelessness and premature death probably, as there would be no one to do battle with ineffectual ss, I wonder how often this happens.