Any UK-based Italians out there? With elderly parents living in Italy?

(6 Posts)
hope2 Wed 20-Oct-10 12:21:46

I'll try to keep this brief!

We live over here, but my elderly and increasingly infirm mother (widowed, housebound) lives in Italy, with all the angst and guilt and air fares that entails. I'm wondering (anguishing, let's be honest) about the practicalities (never mind the emotional implications!)of bringing my mother to live over here.

I'm thinking about pension arrangements... housing options (our house is NOT an option)... Has anyone done anything similar? Is there such a thing as sheltered housing or a care home catering for elderly Italians in the London area? My mum speaks English but surely there must be other elderly Italians around?

We're working out a series of very difficult alternatives, including paying for a badante over there, care home over there, etc. Unfortunately our finances don't stretch to a dream scenario where we could rent my mum a flat near us and hire a carer. Before anyone asks, there is no one living near my mum in any fit state to look after her, and we can't move there.

Any experiences or advice appreciated, I'm just all tied up in knots.

Rosa Wed 20-Oct-10 12:27:08

There are so many badante that look after the elderly . I know of live in , out , ones that go in am / pm . I know that good ones are hard to find. PLus you then have the decision of if you want to get one ' in regola' or in nero - If you take the ' in nero' then you have the risk of the badante being caught and fined and you/ your mother fined for hiring an illegal immigrant.
I don't know about the english end but surely she should still be entitled to her Italian pension when she is in the Uk .

hope2 Wed 20-Oct-10 14:27:49

Thanks Rosa, you sound like you've been there! I haven't tackled the consulate yet about pensions, but it should be possible, if never easy.

I'm really worried about getting a badante, it would have to be someone in regola and I would need an agency or something to manage her (more research).

None of this is easy, financially, practically, or emotionally. I want to do right by my mother who I love so much, but I have a young family and work here and am being torn in two.

Rosa Wed 20-Oct-10 16:58:52

hope - its just that my cleaner has lots of friends who are badante plus you see so many of the elderly that do have them - they do shopping etc etc. I am sure if you knew of someone who had one near to your mother then that would be the way to start looking I would think. An agency would be bound to rip you off . I believe its quite easy to employ somebody on that level and also easy to pay contributions - you would probably need the help of a commercialista for this. You just need to find the right person. There are some lovely genuine caring ones out there I hope you find one.

Rosa Wed 20-Oct-10 16:59:25

Out of interest which area of Italy are you looking out as on Little Italy we cover quite a few areas between us !

Ukusername Sun 23-Feb-14 21:02:33

Hello,

Is anyone still interested to hire a badante?

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