Is this bullying?

[MrsSnape]

ds2 (7) came out of school quite upset today. He said everyone in his class had been laughing at his writing and saying it was scruffy and babyish and that his drawings were crap and were just squiggles.

He's usually very proud of his drawings and so I think this upset him even more.

I've never had problems with DS2 before, he's always been the class clown so the kids tend to like him...he's the "difficult one", if ever we have a problem at school, it is usually that DS has done something wrong or "silly".

Thanks to his pretty bad behaviour, he's gotten himself a "name" within the school now and I've found that the teachers dont tend to take him seriously anymore. Last time I complained that the kids kept pulling his hood off his coat (fastens on with press studs) the teacher said "oh, I'm sure he wasn't innocent in it either, he's usually the one that starts it".

So I'm reluctant to go in about it, I know he has taken the mick out of other kids in the past too, but he seemed quite upset and I can't help feeling sorry for him. Am I being too soft?

[meglet]

(I only have a 20 month old, so am not an expert, although I was bullied at senior school). But maybe if your DS has been a handful in the past some of the other kids are starting to behave just as bad and get him back a bit. Still not right for them to do it thogugh. rather about them laughing at his pictures and writing.

Maybe you need to give it a week or two and see if everything settles down, the kids might have all had a bad day today. Mind you, I'd be concerned about the teachers being blase about it and automatically assuming it's his fault.

Hope it settles down and your DS has a nice day tomorrow.

[hascas]

Hi Mrs S.

Sorry to hear your DS is having a tough time. As meglet says, it might be a bit of revenge behaviour but kids have to learn that two wrongs dont make a right and so its unacceptable if this is what it is.

As for the teachers attitude - not taking complaints seriously because s/he has labelled your child as a bit troublesome- is also out of order. Please dont let this put you off saying something to her about what DS2 is going through. Go speak with her - maybe start off by acknowledging that he "can be handful" etc. Might help to get her on side a bit. However, if she isn't helpful and the situation continues, I wouldn't hesitate to raise it with the head teacher. Whatever she feels about your DS, if she allows other kids to take the mick because of his past behaviour then she is behaving unprofessionally and needs to be pulled up on this.

Sorry if this is a bit strong. Just had very bad experiences ourselves with teacher who kept telling me my DS1 was being bullied because he was unsociable and therefore putting himself in firing line....WTF?? We eventually changed schools but wish I had actually done more to protest about teacher behaviour first TBH.

[christywhisty]

We have been on the other side of this

My DS 12 has had problems this last year with a boy who often starts things, then goes home very upset that the others are teasing him, conveniently forgeting all the teasing and silly tricks he plays on the others.

His mum was telling me all the way through yr5 and 6 how her ds was being bullied by another boy. But it was the other boys parents who eventually complained to the school about this boy bullying their DS.

He started doing the same to my DS this year on the train home to and from school. He was squashing fruit in ds's face, calling him idiot and stupid all the time, just being constantly aggrevating. He told his mum that ds was doing things to him, but ds was only ever retaliating. It's difficult for any child even at 12 not to retaliate when they are constantly being pestered.
He has just got into serious trouble at school being just one stop from exclusion for something he did to another child.
I just don't think his parent's realise just what he does to the other children and just see him as a victim.