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Bullying in reception and angry with teacher, advice needed! (Sorry long)(9 Posts)
My DS2 has just started reception and has been picked on by another boy since he started. He sits behind him on the floor and nips him, pulls his arms and bruises them, steals things from him - his hat, a little toy he hid in his pocket to cope with homesickness, kicks him under the lunch table etc. He does this to at least a couple of other boys. I told the classroom teacher and thought it had stopped but the first day after half term he broke down in tears and said he has been holding it all in, that he hides in the toilet crying, this boy says he is going to kill him and he won't go to school any more.
I've have been positive and tried explaining this boy is also new to school, he is also scared and is lashing out and even though that is very wrong he isn't a bad person, told him I will have him moved away from him in the classroom and that he must tell the teachers. I wrote down the main points and spoke to his teacher yesterday morning who seemed sympathetic. I was very clear I wanted them separated in the classroom.
When I picked him up he said he hadn't been moved and was nipped and kicked again. I was furious and spoke to the teacher again this morning - I was very calm. She was defensive and, I felt, rude until she realised I wasn't going to blow my top. She said she hadn't moved him as I had not confirmed his hearing was okay - I had done before school started so this was a stalling tactic. She clearly had no intention of moving him.
DS was getting hysterical at the thought of being left so I calmly took him to the cloakroom to settle down but he couldn't. At this point the class started and I could see she had still not swapped the places around.
I said I was taking DS with me and we would come back when he was calmer and the places were changed. At this point the teacher hastily got her floor planner and started shifting people around. I told DS that we were going but that we were coming back and that this was a one off.
We left and came back an hour later, he was still very upset being left but understood that was the situation.
I am so angry with the teacher and now I don't know how to proceed. I hate seeing DS upset but felt he needed to see I was on his side, I don't know if I was right to take him out. The first day after I told her what had happened, I saw his teacher discussing it with another staff member and rolling her eyes, she obviously thinks I am over reacting. I am inclined to force DH to take time of work and go in tomorrow to have it out with the Headmistress. I don't know what I am more angry and upset about and can't make a rational decision. Help!
(Also I'm going to walk the dog try and calm down now so will be back later)
This sounds horrid. I think you have been perfectly reasonable so far and the teacher should have been far more pro-active. I am really impressed that you had the inner strength to take your DS back into that classroom after all that had gone on with the bully (and NOT been done by the teacher), I'm not sure I could have done that. But you sent a strong, important message to your DS (and the teacher) that this was going to be sorted and he should, and would, feel safe to be at school. The Headteacher should back you up 100% now -you have done all you can. Good luck. I really feel for you.
PS dog walks are great for calming down I agree!
I'd go to the head too
Thank you, I have been worrying I had done the wrong thing but I feel in my heart it was right to take him out for that time.
He seems to have had a better day which is great. The boy has been moved from behind him but now his (the one who has been bullying) little best friend is in his place and he does a similar line in nipping! But DS said he was left alone during the day so that is good.
The teacher came out and tried to be pleasant but I still feel like going to the Headmaster to complain about her!
My 6 year old daughter is being bullied by a boy.
For the last couple of weeks now my 6 year old has been bullied by a boy and the head master is not sorting out the problem.
This boy is waiting outside my daughters classroom at break times and chasing her across the play ground, when he catches her he is putting his hands around her neck and not letting go even though she is asking him to. He is also getting her head into a headlock and not releasing.
I have spoken to the head master who assured me this would be sorted that day and he would go into the playground and get my daughter to identify this person and he would be dealt with.
When I picked her up that afternoon she was very upset and told me he did it again and no the headmaster did not come and see her at break time like he said he would.
Again I went to see the headmaster and class teacher who both assured me and my daughter this would be sorted tomorrow and again they would go outside at break time with my daughter so she could point this person out to them.
The next day I go and pick my daughter up and again she is upset and tells me he did it again and I told a teacher straight away.
So off I go again to the school office and confront the teacher she told about what happened and, the teacher says she did not tell me anything.
I have come to the point now where I have kept my daughter at home for the past 2 days because she does not feel safe going out on to the playground.
I have spoken to ofsted and, the welfare officer just so her attendance is being noted as off because of bullying.
Do I really have to keep my daughter away from her friends and education just because the school won't deal with it.
They have not even gone to the trouble to find out who he is.
Had anybody else gone through similar?. What do I do ?.
Don't go to the head. Take a while to calm down. These children are four, it is unlikely that the other boy has begun a lifetime of targeting your DS. See how it goes now he has been moved.
Candy you need to start a new topic.
Request a meeting with the head. Write down all your points and what you want to be done.
Is it a primary school? You could ask for a year 6 buddy to be with your child.
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