Lorry123
Mon 21-Nov-11 16:57:43
My DS started school in September along with the son of some fairly good family friends of ours but this child has started to actively exclude my DS from their usual gang and is telling him they no longer want to be his friend.
DS is now going to school very tearful - I am good friends with the mother - should I say something or just keep quiet and hope they resolve the issues in the playground? Am I being a bit too over zealous?
rollingheather
Mon 21-Nov-11 18:17:38
I think you need to let the school deal with it, or risk falling out with your friends over it.
Been there, done that. In the end it was easier for the school to move them into different classes.
GypsyMoth
Mon 21-Nov-11 18:19:24
Sounds less like bullying and more like kids being kids!
catsareevil
Mon 21-Nov-11 18:27:05
I would say something to the mum, but would present it factually without making accusations, eg 'DS has been upset recently as I think that he isnt getting on well with X at the moment, has X mentioned anything?'
paddypoopants
Mon 21-Nov-11 18:31:58
If your son is worried and tearful about it then I would definitely be proactive about sorting it.It depends on your relationship with your friend. Would she want you going to the school without letting her sort it out first? I would say something to her. You don't have to blame the other child- just say you're worried and tell her what you know and you want to find out exactly what is bothering your ds and sort it out. If it was my ds behaving unkindly to another child I would like my friend to tell me so we could get it sorted.
I know it's upsetting when the DC's are upset, but this is par for the course in primary school. They fall in & out of friendships & learning to deal with them is one of the hardest things for them, & for you to stand back & allow them to learn to cope with it is also a very hard thing.
I would hold back on using the term "bully" by the way as it is a very over-used & emotive word.
If he is tearful just mention it quietly to his teacher or TA just in passing so they are aware, then leave them to sort it. They may use it as part of circle time generally talking about friendships etc
Would it be useful to invite a one or two of the other kids in the "gang" over for tea on their own, without the other boy just so you can see if they really are ignoring your son or if it's little Johnny just trying to control the gang?
