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Can someone remind me it's all worth it? And a question about reflux.

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By Sat 20-Jun-09 15:34:26 Add message | Report | Contact poster

Hello,

Hoping for a bit of moral support. My DS2 is 6 days old and my DS1 is 3 years, 10 months. DS2 is basically treating me like a human dummy - would love to be breastfed all day and night on and off between snoozing for twenty minutes or so. This would be fine, apart from me needing to sleep and having another child to look after. I'm not surprised by it at all as DS1 was exactly the same. I'm in a much better place than I was at this stage with DS1 who I felt like putting up for sale on ebay - much easier delivery and I don't feel completely overwhelmed and inadequate when faced with a small baby like I did first time round. I know it gets better because I bf DS1 for 14 months, including carrying on with the morning and evening for 4 months after going back to work. But it is very gruelling and hard work and feels all a bit thankless. I can't say I'm really a baby person - I've enjoyed DS1 more and more the older he has got and I love it now that he is a pre-schooler so it just feels like a period I have to get through. I know there's not much I can do apart from wait for things to settle down but very grateful for any cheerleading/suggestions.

DH is around the next couple of weeks and DS1 is in nursery three days a week so not too bad in terms of having to look after him as well as endlessly bf. My family are at the other end of the country and not very practical or supportive anyway so I have not got much practical help for after DH gets busier. Have got DH sitting with DS2 for a couple of hours just after I've fed him in the early hours so that I can go to another room and have a sleep, which is good. DH is obviously tired (but not as tired as me) and is being a bit grumpy with DS1 for things like wetting his pants, which I'm finding a bit difficult to cope with. DS1 is being pretty good and not really acting up at all, which is amazing considering that he is a real mummy lover.

Sorry for long, hormonal post-natal ramble. I do have a practical question too. DS2 has obviously got a degree of reflux - wakes up with a real cry of pain and either posetting or milk coming out of his nose a while after he's been fed. It's obviously upsetting for DS2 and makes the nights that bit harder for me - not only doing three feeds but holding DS upright for twenty minutes each and then comforting him when he wakes up with the reflux a couple of times after each feed. I mentioned it to the midwife when she came round yesterday but she didn't really say anything. Another midwife visit on Monday. Should I push to get him looked at or do I just need to keep doing what I'm doing and wait for it to go away - have googled and done the things suggested like holding him upright after feeds and raising the head of the cot.

Better go as can hear grizzling...

Ta

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Fri 03-Jul-09 23:22:39

Fantastic news Renwein - I'm genuinely pleased for you smile

Congratulations on seeing it through and long may it continue!

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Fri 03-Jul-09 19:51:30

Yay, DS2 was well past his birthweight when weighed today. Has been feeding really well and piling on the ounces. Now about eight pounds or 3.65kg. We were down to one formula top up, which I will now ditch because I can't be bothered with it.

He is still really vomity, though not that bothered by it and doesn't arch his back after feeds. I do think it is stopping him settling to sleep sometimes though. He does take a dummy. I'm embarrassed to say that I bought some before he was born. Used one with DS1 and it did not interfere with bf and he ditched it as soon as he found his thumb (which he still loves). Hoping for the same degree of luck this time round. Have made a GP appointment for next week to talk about reflux, though still undecided if I want him to have meds or not.

But looking up on the whole. Thanks for all your support and advice.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Mon 29-Jun-09 19:16:01

PS I found co sleeping the ONLY way to sleep with both of them as they fed nearly every hour. Neither refulx babies would have a dummy but I would definitely try, I think dc1 may have had reflux issues aswell as he vomitted all of the time.

BTW I assume your baby is arching his back post feed???

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Mon 29-Jun-09 19:11:28

My last two dcs had reflux issues. We didn't get dc3 diagnosed and were fobbed off, dc4 has Gaviscon and then rantitide (or something). Both really helped.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Mon 29-Jun-09 19:08:28

Thanks - he had gained yesterday. Not yet up to his birthweight but only 100g short and he has been feeding well today. So hopefully nearly there. No more weighing till Friday so we can relax and do our thing for a while.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Mon 29-Jun-09 09:46:12

Sorry, Renwein, I misread your post as him having regained his birthweight.

It's a real shame your confidence has been affected, but from what you say, you are on the road to sorting it all out

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sun 28-Jun-09 13:49:31

I guess the issue is that he hasn't yet put on his birthweight - just gone back to having lost ten percent and we won't get everyone off our backs until he does regain his birthweight.

But things are looking up. I think things were maybe a bit off with my supply before and I'm now feeling much more like I did when feeding DS1 at this stage (i.e. leaky) and feeling a much stronger letdown when feeding. Also getting two or three yellow nappies a day as opposed to a green one every couple of days (one of which he did immediately the paediatrician took off his nappy - I was so proud). Can't help thinking the antibiotics might have affected supply, though DS1s godmother who is a GP thinks it would affect the taste of the milk and possibly cause tummy trouble, but not affect supply.

I am continuing to offer the formula as I am so fearful of being sent back to hospital and just can't face pumping. But he does seem to be taking less and less, or taking it and then throwing it back up again. He wasn't weighed on Friday - as the midwife thought it wouldn't show anything meaningful (first sensible thing anyone has said for ages) but am expecting someone round this afternoon. Looking at DS2, he seems to fill his clothes more than previously so I hope he will have gained.

But all this has really knocked my confidence in my ability to bf. Such a different experience from DS1 who was an 8lb 13 bruiser and a terrifically efficient feeder who scarcely dipped below his birthweight, then shot up to the 95th centile, where he has stayed ever since. DS1 was also a v grumpy and unsettled boy, which clearly has its benefits... I have got help coming tomorrow for a week (of the paid variety as both our families are far away and not very practical) so will hopefully feel a bit less on my own in all this.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Fri 26-Jun-09 14:08:45

Renwein - babies do not put on 130g overnight. Even the fastest growing bruiser would take 2-3 days to zoom up the weights that quick.

Your baby has regained his birthweight at age 10-11 days.

This is well within normal.

I think the home weights were wrong.

Fully support your dh and his angry voicemail

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Fri 26-Jun-09 10:28:57

Well actually he put on 130g, when I look at it properly - birthweight on 14/6 3420, dropped to 3100 on 19/6 and 2970 on 24/6 and back up to 3100 yesterday. Though of course on entirely different sets of scales each time. DH has already left an irate voicemail with the head of midwifery (though typically he wasn't sure it was her voicemail despite that being the contact number in the book) and we will definitely put it all down in writing when the dust has settled.

Oh well, waiting for the midwife again but just had another good bf plus 40 ml of formula so DS2 is looking v full.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Fri 26-Jun-09 10:05:02

Oh gosh -I'm so sorry to read this. What a crappy crappy experience sad

Pumping milk is hard enough as it is without being stuck in hospital overnight, worried sick about both kids with so called experts breathing down your neck angry

It's not wonder nothing came out in the end. Like Tiktok I do wonder about the weight gain and what the merit of checking it was since clearly they couldn't tell overnight whether or not he was actually improving hmm

Glad you're home now and don't worry about the top-ups. It's early days yet and you will be able to phase them out as the weeks go on. DS was on top-ops in the first two weeks because of jaundice. Again, it was the paediatrician who forced me to give him top-ups at every feed despite saying that she thought the jaundice was due to our competing bloodtypes rather than it being bf jaundice!

Anyway, I dutifully did as I was told the week I was at the hospital and then phased them out over the next two weeks. I was told to give him a bottle a week to make sure he didn't reject the bottle when I returned to work but I phased that out by four weeks 'cos it seemed like too much hard work grin

Keep your chin up and do complain about your midwives and hospital as soon as you feel up to it.

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Can someone remind me it's all worth it? And a question about reflux.