At what stage do I give up with the bottle

(21 Posts)
cordiality Tue 26-Feb-13 21:27:41

DS is 4 months old this week, and is ebf. Pretty much since he was born I've been trying to get him to take a bottle, with very little success. He has probably taken about 10 bottles in total, despite me and others trying at least every other day, and has totally refused for the last fortnight.

We have tried ebm and formula, five different makes of bottles, hungry/not hungry, me/not me, etc, etc.

I'm not a natural breastfeeder. My dd never got the hang of it and I expressed for her for 4 months. I was therefore keen to give it a good go with DS but now I can't see an end in sight!

I was keen to mixed feed in the first place and now I'd be really happy to stop bf altogether... haha, unlucky right?! Ironic after how desperate I was to bf DD.

My question is, would you just give up with the bottle now? I can't face bfing until he's one, I find the idea of having to continue long term seriously distressing.

Where do I go from here? Is he too young for a beaker? I think that sucking is really important for babies and I don't want to take that away from him. (he won't take a dummy either).

Any advice hugely appreciated.

Not too young for a cup they can be fed by cup from birth but you would lose the sucking like you said.

What makes of bottle have you tried?

Abigail9580 Tue 26-Feb-13 22:12:21

Why don't you try and combination of cup and boob? Maybe feed from you first thing and last thing ( or if your feeding at night) as it might be easier, and then a cup the rest of the time?

cordiality Tue 26-Feb-13 22:25:14

moresnow we have tried tommee tippee, avent, nuk, dr brown and mam. Most success is with mam, it was looking promising for a while, but not any more sad

abigail I'm starting to think that might be an idea, I just need to get my head around it. I feel bad for him really.

I technically could keep bfing for as long as he wants but what's best for baby isn't always what's best for mum right? Where do we draw the line? Ugh.

stargirl1701 Tue 26-Feb-13 22:59:22

What about Medela Calma? Breastworks?

leedy Tue 26-Feb-13 23:02:47

I have heard good things about the Medela Calma as well.

Was talking to a friend of mine yesterday whose DD never took a bottle but went on to one of those spouty cup things at about 6 months, and had a mix of formula-from-a-cup and boob til she was a year.

stargirl1701 Tue 26-Feb-13 23:05:16

Yoomi bottles?

cordiality Wed 27-Feb-13 01:07:29

Ok I haven't heard of any of those bottles stargirl! I'll try anything, it would be brilliant to think that after all this time a different brand of bottle would do the trick.

I'll also have a little go with a cup, to see if it's an option. I assume I should sterilise it? Are we talking about one of those lidded tommee tippee ones?

Abigail9580 Wed 27-Feb-13 07:27:04

Completely agree, you have to do what's best for you that's what makes for a happy mummy and happy baby. You could try the free flow cups ( tomee make them) or I had a friend who's daughter wouldn't take a bottle or a cup with a lid so she had to use a beaker- and the dd just sipped from it with the mum gently tipping it! ( she used one of those strange shaped ones, that are high on one side.. I think they might be for people after they have had a stroke )

My DD was the same, refused every bottle going. I tried her again at about 6 months and she took it straight away just keep trying every now and then smile

Poppins27 Wed 27-Feb-13 07:34:58

Different circumstances and my Dd was only 5 weeks old when i stopped bf but I also tried lots of bottles. The brand that worked or me was Breastflow. I got these off Amazon and they were the best for my Dd by far. Also have a few friends, one if which started these with her Dd at about 6 months. Hope you find one that suits!!

I was going to suggest mam sad

I wouldn't use the lid from tommee tippee ones, just use like an adult cup. Hold against top lip and tip slowly, so the milk just touches lip and they suck it. However, this can produce more wind.

The cups a pp was talking about with one high side are called doidy cups you can get them online.

If you were having luck with the mam bottles, maybe try a different teat? Maybe a slower or faster flow would help

monkeysbignuts Wed 27-Feb-13 07:55:16

Amazon sell breast flow bottles, maybe give those a try? Will get you a link x

monkeysbignuts Wed 27-Feb-13 07:57:01
Poppins27 Wed 27-Feb-13 13:34:09

I'd happily donate one of my breast flow ones if you wanted as I finally got my Dd to take a Tommee Tippee after about 6 months so I have a cupboard full going spare?! Just a thought as it cost me a fortune trying different ones until we found one that suited her!!

cordiality Thu 28-Feb-13 02:07:37

I've just bought a breastworks bottle from amazon, thanks all for the suggestion, will see how it goes, it'll be here tomorrow.

poppins thank you so much that is very kind offer. If he goes for this bottle I may relieve you of your supply!

Brilliantly reassuring to hear of other mums in the same boat finding workable solutions, thank you

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Thu 28-Feb-13 02:57:31

Cordiality, I didn't manage to make DD2 take a bottle until I had to, when she went to daycare part time at eight months. And even then she put up a fight for a few days, which was a bit awful (but it was only part time, and she's a total chub, so I wasn't too worried she'd starve).

May I ask what it is about breastfeeding that's making you not want to go on much longer? I'm not going to try and persuade you out of it if you don't want to, I promise. Just that with both of mine, the four month mark was a low point. Sleep goes to hell, they get distracted about feeding in public and come on and off the boob, it drives me mad. And then it gets better. So I just wanted to say that even if you don't find another solution, you may find that you start to dislike breastfeeding less than you do currently.

cordiality Thu 28-Feb-13 04:49:15

Hi Tortoise, I agree, I reckon that if I get tough and HAVE to make DS take a bottle eventually he will... what would happen if I got abducted by aliens?!

Sadly it's not so much that I don't like breastfeeding or am finding it hard, more that I really suffer for it. I am plagued with blocked ducts, engorgement, milk blisters etc, and I get nipple blanching after every feed which is really painful. It's probably all down to latch but I have big (JJ!) heavy boobs with very flat nipples and it's just all a bit tricky and awkward. On top of this my eczema is really bad at the mo and I can't take my usual antihistamines as I'm bfing and I can't use cream on my nipples which are so itchy I could rip them off!

On top of all this I hate the way I look in my feeding bra, am exhausted from feeding every 2 hours day and night and am feeling quite low about myself. It's time to reclaim me, and sadly that means no more baby booby time (DD's phrase, not mine!!!)!

monkeysbignuts Thu 28-Feb-13 07:19:37

Cordiality just wanted to give you a big un mumsnet hug! I am going through something very similar with my 3rd baby at the minute.
I have breast fed 3 children and for some reason this time I am finding it really difficult. He feeds every 2 hours at night and every 1.5 during the day!
My gp has taken the decision out of my hands because I need medication that I can't take while breastfeeding so I have been told to stop.
Good luck with the bottle hunt, I hope you find one that works for you both x

Poppins27 Thu 28-Feb-13 08:12:46

Good luck Cordiality!! My only advice with the bottles are that the lids can be a right pain for leaking. So make sure that when the tops screwed on it doesn't feel as if the threads crossed at all on the neck of he bottle. I hope that makes sense?! Many a time is get Dd happily sucking away only to have the bottle start drenching her...taking it off her to fix did not make for a happy (or clean) baby!!! wink

lazzaroo Thu 28-Feb-13 09:34:35

I am in similar situation with my 2nd. I fed my first & despite our efforts she would never take a bottle. She went straight to cup, which in hindsight made life easy but at the time I desperately wanted a break from feeding. I too am not particularly good at it, hate nt knowing if she's getting enough, have oversupply so she ends up full of wind etc etc.

Was determined to at least mix feed this time round but so far, at 8 weeks, have had no luck getting her to take a bottle. I feel history repeating itself!

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