4 day old - BF constantly at night (and I mean constantly) - how to cope?(31 Posts)
DS is 4 days old. He feeds fairly regularly throughout the day but at night he feeds constantly between about 10pm and 6am: he'll feed from both sides, appear sated, so I'l put him down, and then he'll wake again within 5-10mins and demand more. This will go on all night until about 6am when he'll finally go for a longer nap: he has at the most 2 short naps during the night (no more than 30mins each).
Nappies are being filled and my milk came in yesterday (which I hoped would make a difference last night but didn't). Latch is fine I think: he's glugging away nicely. I BF #1 for 12m so I thought I was fairly knowledgeable about BF but this has caught me out...
Do I just give in and resign myself to long nights infront of the telly (have already watched the entire series of Downton...)? Is this a sign that something's wrong? How long will it go on for??
"So it can be charted but there is nothing to compare it to, ie no data for babies that age. That's right yes? "
Yes - charted in that a mark might possibly be put on the chart, but this is not always (often?) done. Early weights are recorded, of course.
"Re weighing newborns, are there guidelines for when/how often to do so?"
Not national guidelines, no. I would say that it is increasingly seen as good practice to do so a couple of times in the first week, after the birthweight.
"Do midwives look at how babies are/how they are feeding and at 'output'before deciding to weigh?"
Some do - experienced midwives might well feel they get sufficient info that way.
I think I misunderstood when you said they weren't charted that you meant there wasn't a bit on the weight charts for that age. There is and mine has dots like you say. So it can be charted but there is nothing to compare it to, ie no data for babies that age. That's right yes?
Re weighing newborns, are there guidelines for when/how often to do so? As I said mine weren't weighed for a week and all had gained weight. Ds1went from 8lb 7ozto 9lb 3oz in his first week. Mine all fed well and I had oversupply issues. Even ds4 who was 10lb 13oz at birth had gained by a week, the midwife was sure that as such a big baby he would have lost weight? I got lucky with babies that fed well as long as I made sure I tweaked their latch etc, so as they were feeding well, weeing/pooling et. That is why they weren't weighed more frequently?
Do midwives look at how babies are/how they are feeding and at 'output'before deciding to weigh? Is it down to individual midwives? Or are there guidelines? Just wondering as my experience was that they weren't interested in weighing them before a week and my midwife said she didn't like to as it often worried parents? But if must depend on the baby?
Sorry op de-railing your thread, I was just wondering and tiktok always seems to know the answers.
I should stay away from bfeeding/baby threads they always make me broody, I miss bfeeding. But I don't ,miss the lack of sleep... Tho I am yet to get two yr old dd I to her own bed...
5madthings it's all explained at the link.
The data on which the charts are based was taken from weights done at birth and then from 2 weeks. So there is no data to inform the time between birth and 2 weeks - but the charts have a notional line, printed as dots sometimes.
Babies do need to be weighed and it is perfectly ok to weigh them shortly after birth to check that they are not losing too much weight (weight loss is normal; too much weight loss can mean poor feeding and dehydration...untreated this can be dangerous).
Mine are join the chart at birth and ten days? I shall check the red books and see where they marked them. I think the midwives just wrote them down and when the HV came to visit she plotted the weights the midwives had written down onto the chart. Not that it matters anymore as my youngest is 26mths. In fact I was thinking they haven't been in touch re her two yr check, but maybe they don't do them anymore?
None if mine were weighed before they were a week old, is it common to weigh before a week or does it just depend on any issues? I was thinking the jaundice? But mine all has that and I was just told to feed lots and put them in the sun. I had a lovely midwife tho who was very relaxed and encouraging re bfeeding.
A four day old's weight will be recorded, but it is not charted - the charts actually start at two weeks, and the UK chart has a notional line only between birthweight and 2 weeks. See details at link I gave before
tiktok when you say a four day old won't be charted what do you mean? Mine all had their birth weight plotted in the red book and then they were weighed at a week old, all had gained weight and that was plotted as well and then on frankly rare occasions I got them weighed after that it was plotted in the red books. I think at the 6-8wk check? And then again at a 9mth check?
Sounds normal, I would try co-sleeping. Hope the jaundice clears up, have you got a window that catches the sun? If so sit by that so he gets some sunlight... Bit hard with winter babies!
I am in Norfolk and have a four yr old and a two yr old, both their red books had the updated weight charts in them. They are different to the charts I have for ds1, ds2 and ds3 so are 13, 10, and 8. Its interesting to compare them actually
My DS is 5 days old today and has also fed all night, every night, since birth. This is great for your milk supply. To get some sleep yourself, try putting your DC in bed with you and feed them lying down. I do this and normally only wake when DS wants to go on the other side for a bit, so I turn over and repeat.
I do apologise, of course too young for chart. Shouldn't post when sleepy.
And yes tiktok, it appears that Norfolk (or our sleepy corner of it anyway) must be that far behind cos I'm not making it up! Tis practically the dark ages here...
Norfolk cannot be that far behind everywhere else, noBS, surely?
www.rcpch.ac.uk/child-health/research-projects/uk-who-growth-charts/uk-who-growth-chart-faqs/uk-who-growth-chart-faq shows that the 'new' charts should have been used for all babies born after May 2009 - almost 4 years ago. I know some areas were still using up old materials throughout 2009 and possibly into 2010, but anywhere using the old stuff in 2012 or 2013 is (in my opinion) giving poor care. In any case, the old charts were not based on FF babies at all - the data came from babies whose feeding was not differentiated, though of course many of them would have been ff babies.
Also, a 4 day old baby would not be charted - and bf/ff babies' weight gain is more or less the same until several months have gone by.
Hi tiktok, that's v interesting about charts... Am in Norfolk. Asked HV about charts about 5 months ago and was told the chart in my red book is based on FF, she said they are changing gradually to BF...
Sorry for minor hijack OP and others!
Charts not yet relevant for any baby, ff or bf.....and all charts in the UK are based on bf data and have been for several years (where are you, noBS????).
Babies of this young age are not plotted on a chart. Bf and ff babies gain weight pretty similarly - almost identically - until about 5-6 mths.
It's unusual to weigh a new baby daily but in this case, it could be justified, though they do need to bear in mind the potential confounding effects of wee/poo....you'd be looking for weight loss to have ceased at this stage.
His feeding pattern sounds absolutely well within normal for a young baby. He does not need to be put down between feeds - co-sleeping does help with this a lot 'cos there is no 'down' to put him
Wow your docs are rather more keen on tests than mine were - DS2 was pretty yellow for a long time, maybe 2 weeks or more, after his arrival and he was absolutely fine, 'breastfeeding jaundice' MW and HV's said. So wouldn't worry about that at all, as others say trust mummy instincts. As for the weight charts, don't get me started... You could ask if chart they're using is for BF or FF baby - they are changing very slowly but charts (round my area anyway) are usually based on FF babies who gain weight completely differently to BF. Good luck and may you get some sleep soon!
I would be wary about having him weighed as frequently as daily.....
just having a small wee (or poo) can make a significant difference in that, as can the exact set of scales used.
My baby dropped a fair bit too (not quite 10%) and from birth - 4 months went from almost as high as 75th to almost as low as the 9th.... I trusted my mummy instinct that all was fine and it is / was, and told my HV i wouldnt be feeding my human cow milk given i had so much milk (at that point i was dripping over a pint a day collected im shells)
I hope all is well tomorrow, but try not to stress too much, especially if your mummy instinct says all his fine, and he's weeing / pooing etc
So many stories - thank you all for the reassurances.
I've toyed with the idea of co-sleeping and will look into it if the situation continues (to be honest, the idea scares me a little so I'd want to research it more before going for it). And the idea of giving him to DH in the evening is a good one: I don't mind being awake all night as long as I get the sleep at some point...
The doctor weighed him today and he's almost 10% down on birthweight (5 days pp) and potentially jaundiced (he looks slightly yellow, but his tests at the hospital pre-discharge were ok). So he's being weighed again tomorrow and they've repeated the bloods for jaundice. Bit stressful really, but am retreating to the sofa with the remote and lots of nice snacks to feed for the next 24hrs.. He's peeing and pooing fine so I'm not overly worried, but I'd hoped to get the green light on all fronts today.
I remember DD doing this too....
feeding all night, until about 6am....
repeat to self that they are just doing what nature programs them to do to ensure a plentiful supply of milk in future....
With DD it lasted a week.... Im pg with number 2 now and dreading being awake all night and all day (with a busy 21month old too).
Its NORMAL, it WILL PASS, but at the time its very hard, and i agree, you can see why people resort to a bottle of formula just for some much needed sleep
Oh god I had this. I second oh taking the baby in the evening and the morning. It got much better after a week or so a few days after milk came in. Dd still cluster fed like mad between 4 and 10 though until 7ish weeks.
You can always express in the morning now you have milk and your oh can give it at night so you get a few hours sleep.
although dd only did this for a few weeks until she decided bottles were a nono
My firstborn dd is 4 weeks now so I'm no expert at all but she was feeding round the clock until a few days ago- constantly. I spoke to the national helpline and they said that normal cluster feeding had turned into snacking so I needed to space out feedings in order to get bigger meals into her she's been doing really well since then- so If it lasts a while might be worth checking with them that it's not turned into snacking. Good luck op
What helped me was leaving baby with DH and going to bed early. Then he would bring baby to bed, I would feed him all night, then he would take him again in the morning for another couple of hours so I could sleep. This way I could get about 5 hours of sleep in over the whole night. I did co sleep though (with a co-sleeping crib attached to the side of the bed) and fed lying down so I could drift off to sleep every now and then between feeds, even if it was only for 10 minutes.
Co sleeping saved my sanity op. the midwife showed me how to feed lying down & it has been great. I also second a sling. They just want to be close to you & know that you're there. Babies cannot be too clingy at this age. Good luck op.
Co-sleep lying down sidefeed iPad propped up on a pillow streaming iplayer & MN.
Depends how you feel about this but another option - perhaps if it does continue - is to get one of those co-sleeping cribs so that your baby is still in a crib (for peace of mind) but you can roll over, pop a boob in, and go back to sleep while he feeds.
Hugs to you though! I took my DD to the GP at 3 days old as she cried all night and I couldn't understand why as I'd fed her loads. Turned out feeding her loads wasn't enough - feeding her loads and loads and loads and loads was the answer! As everyone else said, it will pass
Failing the co-sleeping crib, box sets are the way to go
Thank you! I'm very much reassured now (particularly since my milk's just come in so hopefully there are only a few more looong nights ahead).
FF is not an option so I'm not tempted by that (although I can understand how people could be at this point), but it's nice to know that I might get over an hour's sleep a night in the near future. I remembered nights of getting up every few hours, but this was something new (or something I'd blocked out...).
DD did this. Lasted 2 nights after my milk came in - it passes. She's 8 wo and snuggled in feeding just now.
Wholeheartedly agree with the PPs above. I'm sure this stage won't last for much longer, but it must be so exhausting! I don't have any personal experience of these early days as DS spent the first two weeks in SCBU, but if you need a break, can you hand your DS to your DP/DH at the end of a feed and let him cuddle DS so you can catch some sleep? If you have a sling (particularly a stretchy one like a moby) that might also be a good way to settle DS on DP/DH while you get some rest. But obviously there is a reason DS is feeding so frequently, so if you can cope, try to let him continue
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