So how do you actually STOP breastfeeding?!(15 Posts)
Right, DS is nearly 10mo, we had a hard time establishing breastfeeding and I hated it at first and was convinced I'd stop at 6mo dead on. However he had other ideas and was a total bottle refuser, so after much tribulation we managed to swap his daytime milks to formula out of a sippy cup. I am still feeding him morning and bedtime and anytime he wakes in the night. I just have the fear that when I stop I will lose my guaranteed 'go back to sleep' card in the dead of night, and also worry about him settling at bedtime. Which is frankly ridiculous, he settles for DH perfectly when I'm not there and the last 3 times has slept right through when I've not put him to bed! He has a feed probably 1 night in 3 or 4... Any reassurance? Words of wisdom?
Sounds like you just have to bite the bullet if he settles when not bf to sleep. I found with all my DS the thinking about stopping is more difficult than the actual stopping and once you make your mind up it will all just happen (well did with my three anyway!) With my DS i stopped feeding them to sleep and rocked them instead but if your DH is happy I would just let him carry on putting him to bed. In the morning I had a drink and snack waiting for them to distract them and at night I would rock them to sleep if needed. (this needed a bit of patience to begin with). Once all that was established I gradually reduced the amount of support I gave them to go to sleep in the evenings.
Well done for getting to 10 months! I decided that 15months was my cut off but mainly because I was expecting DS2 and not wanted to give formula.
Forgot to say - I did not stop all the feeds at the same time. I can't remember what order I did stop them in but I think the bed time feed was first, night time feed next and morning feed was the last.
Thank you for that, I know you're right and I just have to stop! It's so much harder than I ever thought it would be. I don't even feed him to sleep, he's been self settling at bedtime for months, so I just need to bite the bullet and do it. With regards to night feeds once I've stopped breastfeeding should I just only offer water? I always attempt to settle with a quick cuddle and maybe a sip of water, which works probably 50% of the time... He eats three good meals, so I don't think he is hungry necessarily. I can always give him a cup of formula in the night if he really won't settle I suppose!
It really does sound like you are already there! I did not offer water at night - just a cuddle. I used to make the decision on whether to give milk based on whether he woke soon after going back to sleep. Even if he took a while to settle I never felt I needed to offer milk but if he woke again soon after I decided he must be hungry. However this did not really happen so was just my way of reassuring myself.
Gah, I wimped out AGAIN. Was all set to put him down at bedtime without his feed (of only 5 minutes-I don't even think he gets much milk anymore) and I couldn't do it!! Have told DH he is putting DS to bed every night next week to break the habit!
It is such a difficult thing to do, especially when you worked so hard to establish BF in the first place. By DS3 I was much more enthusiastic about stopping (although still would like a DC4!)
It's none of my business, but I'm wondering why you want to stop? I planned to stop at 6 months, because it was such a nightmare, was absolutely thrilled to get to a year and then didn't actually want to stop! DD gradually weaned herself in the end, stopping just like that at 18 months. It just kind of petered out, wasn't planned in any way.
If you stop when he's ready then you won't lose any advantage with settling him because he'll have found his own way to replace it. (Or, like my DD, he won't want the boob any more, opting for screaming blue murder instead. )
I keep asking myself the same question! I think it's because I want my body back a bit. 9m of pregnancy followed by 10m of breastfeeding means that I haven't really felt like 'me' for a long time. DS is quite an indepedent soul and has adjusted really well to only feeding first and last thing, and is quite happy to settle off with milk without me, doesn't need feeding at naptimes etc. I also think we're getting to a point where he genuinely doesn't need feeding in the night, as he eats really well in the daytime and he more often then not sleeps through and now I can regularly settle him without a feed. J
I think the general advice that is given is "don't offer, don't refuse". I think that's what I did with DD and it seemed to gradually work.
Right-39 hours and counting... Luckily my MIL took him last night so he had formula at bedtime last night and first thing this morning without me having to actively refuse him. I managed to put him to bed at bedtime without a bf-we'll see if I crack overnight... Last night at the grandparents he slept through. Obviously. Somehow I doubt we'll get a repeat of that!
Sounds like you are there. Well done! Mine all forgot so quickly.....
Well we had some grumbling in the night that settled itself, and I gave him a cup of formula in his cot this morning and he was fine! 51 hours and counting...!
Well done! I've been reading this with interest - currently trying to stop feeding DS, he's 21mo.
Like you, we had tremendous trouble getting feeding established.
We managed to drop his evening feeds surprisingly easily, just distracted him a bit and put him to bed! He hasn't had any bedtime boob for just over a week, sometimes will try to lift my top once, but doesn't persist.
I'm not ready to drop morning feeds yet as it gives me another half hour in bed! We're hoping to TTC this summer tho and I want to finish feeding DS before we try for another, so I'm really hoping he self weans and saves me the bother, but this is very very unlikely - he looooooves boob.
Also, he's been having night terrors occasionally for the last couple of months, and boob is literally the only thing that stops the screaming, so I'm glad it's an option.
Last night he cried at bedtime for 1 1/2 minutes. And then went to sleep. Let's see what he does tonight...! No one told me how hard it was to bloody stop! I thought it was hard enough to get it established! (Thinks back to the dark days of exclusively expressing, leaking boobs and general painful misery!)
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