ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT: This thread hasn't been posted on for a while.
Any ebf-ers about?(35 Posts)
Inspired by another thread I wondered whether there are any about who have fed for years like myself (DS is 6.7)?
The thing is, these threads always seem to get so political and I'd quite like to ignore all that and just talk about it a bit. (Makes me sound like a journo, I'm not).
I think DS may have stopped bf now, I realised this earlier today, and I think it's interesting that I'm not particularly sad, unlike many seem to be. It's been such a long, slow weaning, years fgs!, that I haven't really noticed.
As I remember morning and evening and sometimes after lunch if we were watching TV after lunch.
But not continually like before she started on solids. I would have gone mad and DD1 would have too.
By school age it was weekend mornings and all evenings and eventually evenings for a few nights then not bother for a few or the odd Sunday morning (she dances on Saturdays).
4 yo DD1 would feed like a newborn if I let her. I'm trying to get her to cut down and it's going OK. I've no problem feeding 4 or 5 times a day but the constant pestering was driving me nuts.
She's definitely not one of those morning-and-evening children that everyone else seems to have!
I'm tandem nursing DS (3.4) and DD (6.3). DD is slowly weaning, though. She goes for days without feeds now, but has been a milk monster for most of her life. She asks for more cuddles now, which is lovely in a different way.
My DS1 "drank it all" as well, I thought it was very cute. He self-weaned (with a bit of a nudge, I was pregnant and it was getting ouchy/supply was tanking) at 2.5. DS2 is only 3 months, so no idea how long we'll go for!
So, I often read about older children who have a feed mornings and evenings, but how many of you have voracious feeders, like PirateHat's DS?
DS will feed 6 - 8 times a day and still wants milk if he wakes in the night. He'll be 3 on Sunday.
About a fortnight ago he went feeding loopy and was asking every hour or so day and night. Then he had a slight temperature and was sick the once, and then chicken pox appeared. It was so mild as to be barely diagnosable. He only had 8 spots, 4 of which were just pin pricks. Then I realised why he'd been feeding so much. I had it really badly as a child so he'd benefited from my immunity.
Also makes me wonder how many times he hasn't been ill, but would have been, IYSWIM? The playgroup actually commented that he was rarely ill compared to the other children, and that even when they all had colds and snotty noses he didn't seem to pick it up. Mind you, he also eats a lot of fruit.
DD2 fed until we both decided that 9 was old enough.
She was going to give up when she started school, somehow it didn't happen.
I've posted a fair bit over the years, so I guess all I want to say here is your not alone.
I had a couple of DFs who fed to 5 and stopped only because of becoming PG or needing sleep. (And I've had PMs from others)
DD2 sussed that letting Mum sleep increased the likely-hood of continuing BFing long before then.
In fact I guess that's the main conclusion I've reached about ENF, it's not the Mother's choice. We choose not to say no, but DD chose to continue.
It was her who worked out how to breath and not bite as she stopped being a baby. It was her who sussed when not to ask in public, I never told her not to.
Strangest of all, she instinctively new how many days she could miss and still start again.
BFing was her special thing, the secure base from which she put on her cool confident act for school.
DD1 has a hug, DD2 fed it's really that simple.
I'm not an ebf-er as DD is only 16m but I think we're heading that way. DD loves her milk and asks for it at least 1/2 dozen times a day when I'm not working. She usually asks by patting my boobs and saying 'more'!
It's very interesting hearing the viewpoints of those who have done natural term weaning. I read some of that AIBU thread. It's a shame there is such a lot of ignorance about breastfeeding out there. So many myths to dispel.
Well I've been a bit shocked as to what some people count as being ExtBF, eg anything over six months.
DD is now 14 months and it's actually now a pleasure now that she no longer needs it / requests it all the time so that when she does request it, we just get all snuggly.
My DD self-weaned at 3yrs 3 months. I never set out to BF but she was a tiny 4lb4oz, is now a strapping 12 year old (taller than me) and absolutely wonderful.
It was incredibly hard at first, but I'm so pleased I managed it. Looking back I wouldn't have done it any other way.
I was pretty amazed at the attitude of some NHS staff though. We had to take her in for a hernia op when she was 3 months old. I couldn't feed her for a few hours before her op. I remember the nurse saying to me "Ain't she got a dummy? Poor little thing..."
After the op the consultant told a nurse "Don't let her feed that baby!" as though I was some kind of weirdo...
When we got back downstairs to the ward I had to go and express milk down the toilet sink as I was about to explode. Thankfully a kind nurse came looking for me and told me to ignore the consultant - my baby needed feeding!
Family members told me she'd be "clingy". Never the case.
Just do it your way!
I think unless you have fed for a (comparitively) long time it is hard to understand. For me (and DS) it's a barely conscious process, I don't think about it much at all and I'm sure he doesn't either. We never talk about it, to each other or anyone else. We don't avoid the topic, it just doesn't come up, and why would it? From his point of view it's like, i dunno, breathing.
I remember watching that (famous amongst MNers) documentary with the woman feeding the 7-8yo girl and finding it a bit odd, and now I'm nearly there myself!
I wonder whether the weaning/teeth/latch thing is correct? DS has lost his 2 front teeth, feeds more and more infrequently (about twice a week now), and quite often makes this sort of windy slurp noise (we both giggle) which would suggest he's losing the latch? I think I might be a teensy bit relieved, I never wanted to force the issue but I was beginning to wonder whether at some point I might have to (like when he leaves for uni or something )
I haven't looked at the AIBU thread but it was reading one of those years ago that made me see it from the mother and child's point of view, rather than it being one of those weird things you see on Channel 4 docs. So don't think it's pointless to put your point across, plenty of lurkers on AIBU.
I'm now feeding 2.7yo. He's bloody obsessed with it and feeds like 7mo. But he has health problems and I've seen the way his monitor stabalises as soon as he starts feeding. And he's skinny and goes off food easily. Plus sometimes I need to make phonecalls without him screaming in the background.
I hate that I find myself (needlessly) justifying it to medical people or other mothers because I do feel more self conscious about it as he's getting older. My ex is putting pressure on me to stop as well.
TepidCoffee. Yes I had forgotten about the tenderness of feeding while pg. Although my Ds was about 1 yr old than yours when dd was born he was still very attached to bfeeding. I really thought that I was going to tandem feed but as I posted above he decided for himself to stop. Mind you there were lots of tantrums when I wished heartily that he still was.
TepidCoffee, it is always nice to hear that someone else does the bfing through pregnancy and has had the aversion feeling. I'm about 30 wks with DC2 and 2yo DD still bfs. Sometimes I have had to grit my teeth to get on with it, but the sweet times make it worth it.
Lostonthemoors, good for you.
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Oh yeah, it definitely helped the transition. I don't know how I would have coped otherwise!
I've been asked to look after a friend's DS while she's in labour and I'm a bit worried about how I will cope if he cries because normally I just solve everything by BF. I was half-hoping she would say 'just BF him if you need to' Obv I would never do it without her permission. Apparently he falls asleep in the car so I can just take him for a drive if he gets upset.
Thanks for the reassurance, Eau.
I suspect that DS1 will be the jealous type, so there is some selfishness in carrying on as I hope it will ease the transition for him. There is a lot of tantrumming in our house at the moment, I couldn't cope with too much more!
Haaaa, 'all about the mother'- I wonder if those people have ever met or even bothered to ask an ExtBF why she does it? There's so much ignorance but that doesn't seem to stop people stating their opinion (or getting opinion and fact confused). Actually the reduced risk of breast cancer and ovarian cancer is a big incentive, so I am also thinking about myself.
I also found pregnancy a bit tough but as soon as DD2 was born it really improved. The first year or so was lovely, they would hold hands and gaze at each as they fed <melts>. Now they just hit each other
I refuse to post my experiences on that kind of thread and expose myself to the actually quite upsetting and gross insinuations made by some posters. Ignore, ignore, ignore. You'll never change their minds.
I'm still feeding my 2.4yo DS and am 38 weeks with number two. I will be shocked if we don't end up tandem feeding because even though he feeds much less frequently than he did even six months ago, he is still very vocal about needing to bf when he needs to.
I've actually found it pretty horrible feeding through pregnancy - lots of tenderness and some periods where I've felt an actual aversion - but he's telling me he still needs it and I want to respect that. The extended bf'ing myth that pisses me off the most is the one saying its all about the mother past a certain stage. It's really bloody not!
And breathe .
I think I'm going to leave the AIBU thread now, it's just going over the same points again and again. It was a good debate at one stage though and I
hope think there was some food for thought in there.
Brain it definitely does get easier with time! It's effortless at this stage. Also you can be away from them for longer periods of time so you can go back to work
or the pub. And it comes into its own as a parenting tool. Everything is fixed with boob
It's great that people feel comfortable enough to share their experiences here, it's lovely to read about older children breastfeeding.
I'm still bf my 18mo, does that qualify as 'extended'?! I saw a few of you on the AIBU thread and was so impressed by the calm responses by the bf'ers to some people who were really being quite unpleasant.
My DD loves feeding and so do I - I can't imagine her deciding to stop for a while. She has a nasty cough today and is snuggled up on my lap right now having a lovely feed, cuddle and snooze, and I'm just glad I can give the physical and emotional comfort she needs. She's still a baby, I'm her mum, that's my job and I love it!
brain it gets easier with time.
This is good. I have been wanting to share my experiences but not in an AIBU bun fight. (I have made myself a rule never to post in AIBU).
I am no longer bfing as my Dcs are 16 and 12. I fed Ds until he was 3.5 including being pg with Dd. The day Dd was born he decided to stop. He had one sip and then said no. I'm not sure if he felt it was for the baby or if he didn't like the taste of colostum.
I fed Dd until she was just over 9. She didn't wean naturally either. I had had a hysterectomy and couldn't climb into her high sleeper bed. I offered to feed her in my bed but she said that the whole point was being able to feed and feel snuggly and then go straight to sleep. When quite a while later I could climb up again she only wanted a cuddle though if I remember rightly she stroked my breasts for a while before going on to just cuddles. Now she doesn't want me in her bed at all.
Ds is only little, so I'm not really supposed to be on here , but wanted to say how much admiration I have for your dedication - I don't think I could do it - and also how sweet some of the dc comments are! "I drank it all"!
Don't know if I count - DS is 2.6 and still BFing morning and evening. He's slowing down a lot of his own accord though, and sometimes refuses milk as he is far too busy But I have no plans to 'stop' him and will carry on for as long as he wants to.
Hi I breast fed ds1 until he was 4 then he stopped naturally no fuss no nothing I have ds2 in nicu at the moment but am planning to do the same with him.
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.