Referred to as disgusting and appalling for breastfeeding in a restaurant

(15 Posts)
BeckyBabs Mon 03-Dec-12 11:11:38

Yesterday evening I was breastfeeding my 3-day old son in a family-friendly restaurant in a private members club.
A family- husband and wife and two grown-up sons asked the waiter if there was something that could be done about our 'noisy children'- my husband was with my daughter and relatives so I was there on my own! I had just started to feed my son, and asked if they were offended by the feeding as it wounkd not be I compliance of the equalities act 2010- one of the sons turned around to me and suggested that he didn't care if my boob was out, keep your boob out (in a very offending tone)... It is the noise!
They continued their conversation and I could just here disgusting and appalling behaviour! I naturally became upset- my husband returned and asked them what the problem was- the mother said that she had breastfed her 3 children but never in public and always at home- that is was disgusting and appalling!
The staff approached them and said there is nothing within the rules of the club where this is not allowed!!! The family then said they didn't have a problem with breastfeeding, just with us using the club like a crèche!!! (just to be clear, this is where children can hang out). They suggested that we didn't know how to behave- breastfeeding in public and letting our daughter and cousins go to the loo on their own!!!!
I left the restaurant in floods of tears- I have never experienced such poor behaviour and blatant discrimination before- I am sorry that I removed myself, and Wouk have preferred to stay for dessert and give my 3 year old piles of sugar, but I was very upset!
My husband spoke with the manager and they will investigate it further- one of the staff did suggest however that there was an alcove that could be used- when I suggested that perhaps this family went to eat there, he suggested that sometimes it is easier for a quiet life - not my style I am afraid.
I am quite shocked about it, and needed to share it- very tempted to call up Women's hour this morning!
I can't believe this still happens today!!!

HenriettaTurkey Mon 03-Dec-12 11:13:43

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Some people are very ignorant.

Congratulations on your new arrival!

quietlysuggests Mon 03-Dec-12 11:19:28

Oh I would name and shame.
Yes the people were hideous but the club should have protected you from such oiks.
Congrats on your new little one and well done on getting feeding up and running so quickly.

HenriettaTurkey Mon 03-Dec-12 11:32:00

And forgetting out and about so quickly! Pretty sure I was still in pjs at this point. smile

HenriettaTurkey Mon 03-Dec-12 11:32:28

Forgetting? For getting. Pfft.

bamboostalks Mon 03-Dec-12 11:35:34

Are you talking about Shoreditch House etc?

tiktok Mon 03-Dec-12 11:37:30

Good for you for taking it up with management.

They should be allowed to investigate, IMO, and to get back to you with information about their staff training and their policy on dealing with complaints from other customers.

You can't blame the restaurant for having idiots among its clientele, but they should have the means of addressing their complaints and to make sure you are not made to be upset or uncomfortable by their remarks.

AfterEightMintyy Mon 03-Dec-12 11:39:59

Well, what was bothering them? Was it the noise from the other children? Were they being noisy?

If you had heard someone saying loudly that it was disgusting and appalling to breastfeed in public then you could have complained to the staff and asked them to move the rude family well away from you.

OpheliasWeepingWillow Mon 03-Dec-12 12:33:03

I am perennially rude and said 'You are intolerable 'in a loud voice and asked the manager to remove them in an even louder voice.

Channel Maggie Smith.

I hate the BF is disgusting brigade. It's baby food FFS

OpheliasWeepingWillow Mon 03-Dec-12 12:33:21

...would have said

Oh I am just waiting for something like this to happen to me! Of course its disgusting a tiny human eating in a restaurant! <sarcastic> people like this make me rage.. Are you supposed to stay in the house until your baby is a year old just in case he might.. Gasp.. Want feeding in public?! I agree with the others its not the staff's fault they have ignorant customers but I think I would've kicked off! angry and shock] for you!

AfterEightMintyy Mon 03-Dec-12 12:56:04

Its very unlikely to happen to you NiceCupOfTea - its a very rare occurrence these days, depending on where you live I suppose.

Aboutlastnight Mon 03-Dec-12 13:01:27

Didn't they say they were not objecting to you breast feeding?

Were your children behaving badly? Were you being considerate of the other diners?

Aboutlastnight Mon 03-Dec-12 13:03:43

"the mother said that she had breastfed her 3 children but never in public and always at home- that is was disgusting and appalling!"

Ah! Some folk are ignorant.

WantAnOrange Mon 03-Dec-12 14:45:26

They are total arses and you didnt deserve such rude comments but they also are not worth your emotional energy, so let it go and carry on BF your baby whenever and wherever he needs.

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