Feel like a terrible mum - I did a dairy challenge on DS just because I'm sick of being dairy free.

[FlingonTheValiant]

And it made him scream all night for two nights. He had reflux and trapped wind, he was generally miserable :(

I'm so selfish, I need a big smack :(

I can go without for his sake, but I'd rather not. I knew there was pretty much no chance it would have gone, but the paediatrician implied I'd made it up when I saw him, so I thought "well maybe I did imagine it, in which case I'm doing all this for nothing". But I knew he had a problem, so I told myself that just so I could have some pizza :(

I'm so horrible.

But I am sick of not having any dairy, or even soy. Please give me a kick up the bum to make me be good!

You're not a terrible mum. You know for sure now AND there is a good chance he will grow out of it eventually anyway so you will probably have to do a dairy challenge periodically anyway.

How old is he now?

7.5months, so there's no excuse for it.

No no no no. You are nothing like selfish. You were confirming something, you weren't the first and won't be the last. And the challenges are something that you will do anyway. My dn is allergic to dairy and intolerant of gluten and honestly SIL has bloody struggled and admirably with it all. She's older now and the reactions are lessening in severity with each challenge.

FGS, you've done nothing wrong and you can stop with the faces this instant. It will always be something. You forget to click the carseat closed or accidentally leave the stairgate open or stand on a chubby foot that you didn't know was behind you. You will always find something to berate yourself for but I refuse to believe you did anything malicious at all.

The very fact that you're here and feeling this way tells me all I need to know.

I have no idea how hard it must be for you. I have no idea if I could do it tbh.

At lest you've proved it to the paediatrician, he can't clame you've made it up now can he.

I've had to go dairy free before it's not much fun is it. I did find one or two treats I could have that helped me to keep going. I didn't have any children at the time though so no incentive there.

You know you were not really being irresponsible. IT is perfectly feasible that he may have grown out of it by 6 months.

Showy is right, you are not irresponsible, in fact you are the very opposite of it.

Thanks SOH, you've made me smile. I haven't been that briskly dealt with since I left school! Thank goodness he doesn't have an allergy, or more than one intolerance, I can't imagine how your SIL manages.

MigGril, yes good point. I'll be a lot more resistant to the idea that I've imagined it next time I see a doctor.

MBJ - thanks, I wasn't sure when he could start outgrowing actually. At least I didn't feed any dairy directly to him, I think the result would have been worse.

Don't feel bad, I have started introducing Pepti formula cos I need a cream tea!! I'm wasting away with no dairy!

Have you tried goats milk? My friends kids who are allergic to cows milk can tolerate that.

I did the same with ds1. It just gets so fucking wearying the way everyone implies you are imagining it, or doing it for some god-knows-what reason but basically that it's just you being silly. Makes you doubt yourself after the 1000th time.

And then you get an episode like that and you know it's worth it and that they are all fuckwits

Shall I list you some dairyfree treats you can eat?
Ready salted crisps. Frys chocolate bars, chocolate bourbons, Mrs Crimbles coconut macaroons, jelly babies.

It's not fun being dairy free.

You arent selfish. DS2 has to be dairy free and sometimes I get fed up of not being able to cook things with cheese in - he's 3 and not breastfed, but it still impacts. Can really sympathise.

Our dietician said we need to try re-introducing every 3-6 months so you didnt do anything wrong. Honestly.

There are some dairy free chocolates out there. There is lacto free cheese as well if you wanted to make your own pizza. (dont know whether you know if he's dairy or lactose intollerant?)

But dont beat yourself up.

Thanks everyone :)

Pancake - thanks for the list, I didn't know I could have bourbons! I'll be buying a load of those plus jelly babies :)

ib - it's so annoying people telling me that they are sure he's fine really. Grr.

smokinaces - he's dairy intolerant. I know that dairy free cheese supposedly exists, but I haven't found any yet. I may have to order some.

Thanks again, you've all made me feel much better!

I have seen it in Morrisons - sadly the one supermarket that doesnt deliver! Have you got one near you?

You're not a rubbish Mum at all. At all.

There is a fab egg and dairy free chocolate brownie recipe on the Mumsnet recipe finder which takes 2 minutes and they taste great!

The fact that you are going dairy free and not just moving your ds onto a prescription hypoallergenic formula shows just how committed and what a great mum you are (not that there is anything terrible about doing that- I did it eventually myself!).

I found that by going dairy free myself while bfing meant that I had sussed out the allowable treats by the time dd was ready for them. So actually rather than being a terrible Mum, you are in fact a star!

Pancake has given you a good list. I was also recommend you check out the 'value' biscuits as many contain veg fat rather than butter. Oat milk is Loads better than soya/rice milk in tea/coffee. Chocolate oat milk is lush!

Dairy free cheese is the devils work!! Don't bother!!

Be very wary with trying goats milk, most dairy allergic dc can't cope with it as the proteins are similar.

For better allergy/intolerant advice do come over to the Allergy Board. We're a friendly bunch and other posters have given me some brilliant advice (and support) over the years!

agree with the others. i went dairy/egg free for ds2, and have continued with ds3 (though he doesn't seem to be so badly affected so i do slip up now and then!) and so have been doing it for 3.5 years now!!!

you get used to it, that's all I can say. I don't even want to eat cheese any more (and i'm veggie too!).. it just doesn't do it for me and the taste of milk makes me wanna puke.

there are so many things you can have that are dairy free,here are a few- although i can't guarantee there is no soy in them:

hobnobs
lots of dark choc (check for milk tho)
sainsburys peppermint creams
nairns dark choc/mixed berry/ginger oatcakes
most own brand rich tea/fruit shortcake/bourbons
Asda dark chocolate spread (also good in the middle of a dairy-free cake)
jammy dodgers

dairy-free cheese is, generally, totally vile. i wouldn't torture yourself with it. the only vaguely bearable one is the tofutti cream cheese (you can get from holland and barratts), i sometimes use this to help cream-ify my fake-cheese-sauce or to mix through pasta, or in a sandwich with other fillings (not so great on its own)

you can have hummous, crisps, chips!

i can also highly recommend the 2 ppk books "vegan cookies invade your cookie jar" and "vegan cupcakes take over the world" if you're up for some baking :-D

Ooh I love dairyfree lists. Makes me feel happy.

A naughty cheat, we take these on holiday to make - Betty Crocker chocolate brownie mixes. I know homemade is better for you but it's a great chocolate fix. A real good chocolate fix substitute. And rather low in fat.

Apparently some of cheap freezer shops do garlic bread that doesn't use butter but oil.

I agree there is no real decent cheese substitute. Shudders at that stuff I bought in Waitrose once. blurgh.

But the Swedisg Glacé ice-cream neopolitian flavour is yummy.

oh yeh swedish glace is yum

if you top it with peanut butter and some of the askeys "crackin" chocolate topping it's like a frozen snickers bar

Nice biscuits, hobnob-type supermarket own brand biscuits, Tesco jaffa cakes are all DF too. And I found ice-cream without dairy, soya, nuts or gluten in Tesco - Worthenshaws Freedom ice cream. The chocolate one is really tasty, and they do vanilla too.

Bought puff pastry is usually DF too.

TIY thanks for the book suggestions - I'm DF (recently discovered intolerance) and my bf DS is off eggs, nuts & soya so I've been struggling for baking ideas.

You do get used to it. And I don't think you're a terrible mum either. :)

The Freedom ice cream is available in strawberry too, and you can get it at Sainsbury's and Waitrose as well as Tesco.

Booja Booja.

No, not some weird boobie thing but The Best Dairy Free Chocolate Ever.

Booja Booja.

Even the name is sooo cool and exciting. Just say it... Booja Booja.

It's just amazing, soooo tasty. Not cheap, sadly, but you're worth it .

I understand the making it up thing. Felt just the same way myself, and I've also felt awful when mine has suffered following a doubting moment followed by a dairy-filled treat. :(

Pizza Hut do a BBQ sauce which is yummy on a cheese-free pizza with your fav topping. Really good as it means we can all go out for a pizza and I don't miss out. In fact now that DS is starting to tolerate some dairy in my diet (he's nearly 11 months) I still choose it!

Thanks so much for all the lists of dairy-free treats, I've written them down and I'm going to start sneaking them into the trolley :o

I did make some dairy-free chocolate cakes from the MN recipes section, but due to previous deprivation I wolfed down the whole batch in 24hours so I haven't made them since!

Thanks everyone, I'm feeling a lot better now :)

I hate to say it but Swedish glace is soya-based. On the bright side, if he's been ok with you eating that, then you can maybe relax a bit on the soya.

As well as the above lists can I add
Respect organic banana cake
their carrot cake and their ginger cake
Dove farm apple flapjacks
Mr Kiplings Jam tarts
Mr Kiplings apple and blackcurrent pies
McCoys salt and vinegar crisps
Walkers Sensations s&V crisps
Tesco own brand jaffa cakes (contain a smidge of soy as lecithin in the chocolate)
Jus-roll shortcrust pastry
Booja booja (utterly yummy, but sadly not available in supermarkets).
and the best: Stork "perfect for pastry", the type in the block, not the tub, is dairy-free. Just replace butter with stork in any baking recipe, and you have homemade cake. It's fab, and I'd never have managed so long otherwise (18 months so far). You don't need fancy vegan cake recipes, presuming you're not avoiding egg :)

I was so tempted by cake today, but did resist (ds2 is 2.3 and still very sensitive). I've managed to have a couple of treats after bedtime recently with no ill effects, so sensitivity is improving).

You're doing well, and a dairy challenge every now and again is what ds2's pediatric allergy specialist asked me to do.

Ooh, I didn't know the Walkers Sensations S&V were dairy free. Walkers French Fries are dairy free though.

Now I didn't know about walkers FF. Very good to know :)