Grieving

(8 Posts)
KatyPeril Thu 27-Dec-12 13:34:07

This is going to sound appalling but how do you grieve? I lost my Grandad last week and I'm not sure how I feel. I think I feel nothing. We were very close and he practically raised so surely I should be feeling more? I feel guilty as I had a really good christmas, and I've been seeing friends and really enjoying myself this last week. I haven't cried or anything. Will it hit me later?

Also, I'll be going to stay with my Nan next week, over the funeral (I live miles away), what can I say/not say that won't upset her? They were together nearly 70 years! I've never lost anybody before and I'm clueless over what I should be doing/feeling.

Thanks in advance. xx

scottishmummy Thu 27-Dec-12 16:11:31

sorry for the loss.grief affects us all differently there's no right way to do it
culture,religion,social norms family norms usually influence grief and process
start by acknowledging her loss,ask her what foes she want need,just be there

KatyPeril Thu 27-Dec-12 16:28:59

Thanks x

everlong Sat 29-Dec-12 12:25:33

Sorry for your loss. Was your grandad poorly? I'm just wondering if he was maybe you are relieved he isn't suffering now?

Your nan will be bereft. I would just be lead by her.

Early days so be kind to yourself.

KatyPeril Sat 29-Dec-12 19:00:01

He got a cold, and his old age I guess couldn't cope with it. I'm going to see him next week, which I hope will help. Starting to feel a bit weepy about it now :'-( Thank you both.

Katy, myself and my family are in exactly the same position with grief, we lost my mum extremely unexpectedly on the 23rd, and none of us are acting like we think we should. We have decided that actually how we feel now, tomorow, next week, next month etc, is the correct way for us to grieve, and not the list the prescribes what we should feel and when.

KatyPeril Mon 31-Dec-12 14:13:44

Thank you. I'm going to see him later, which will be strange.

QueenOfCats Mon 31-Dec-12 14:22:05

Hi Katy

I know how you're feeling.

We lost my lovely gran on Dec 23rd. I found her collapsed at home on the evening of the 20th. Spent a lot of time by her bedside watching her grow weaker and pass away

I've cried on and off, but not as much as I thought I would. It's strange. I've been helping mum with funeral arrangements etc so I suppose it's kept my mind occupied. I'm trying to be strong for others too.

I'm finding it hard to sleep though. Yesterday I kept going over and over it in my mind - how she looked when I found her etc, what I did / should have / could have done.

Everyone grieves differently. Don't feel bad for feeling the way you do. Let the process of grief come naturally.

Much love to you x

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